The Cybergarden - Midwinter Edition

[shodatin]

Hope this is Post No. 1001 equivalent, having just used up the thousandth space and feel I shouldn't ask Madmouse to organise the next one again.

Have just looked into summerhouse to check fire is burning gently, tray of [brew} organised by upward to turn into one's favourite hot drink of the moment is standing ready for visitors, along with a few pounds of chocolates from huge box sent by DSis. (Before DB eats any more today)

It's usually tianc, upward and hob who remember to be hospitable and also remember to send good wishes to previous visitors, including said madmouse and mouselet, kizzie and family, NanaNina, Butterpie and another name which eludes me just now, but am hoping you'll find your way to this new part of the Cybergarden
and continue visiting in the New Year, along with hob's time-travelling cat Her Felinity and her welcome associate ndt (next-door's-tom), who visit us quite often, bringing gifts of when they remember, instead of the usual dead rodents which they know are unwelcome in the cybergarden.

Have just had lovely large lunch, plus Skype visit from rest of relatives, so will have a little potter round RL garden, hoping all is well and welcoming now in cybergarden's summerhouse.

I'm being quiet too, I think.

Never planned to be this quiet, upward - last thing I remember is being in bed and planning to use the alarm to wake up at 8p.m., considering the nap I had earlier today. Next I knew, it was 9pm, and the TV was showing two completely new characters who seemed to be baking pasties...Have just lost over an hour of my life, and really getting fed up with the dormouse act. What a shame we can';t swap places for a day, you could have all these extra hours of sleep I really don't need. Hope you're ok.

How to explain psychosis/related to family/friends? Difficult. Not sure how to understand either, apart from trying to be compliant important, and thinking perhaps I shouldn't have shared so much this morning.

I'm sorry you lost an hour shodatin , it must be frustrating.

Aaaaargh , lost long post - so sorry upward , missed important post of yours this afternoon whithen posted differently to how I would have

Not been long and need to get meal , but will post again later
Thinking of you upward , having had such a lot to process today and been courageous and gracious as ever ... awful ly heavy burden , to worry your symptoms might have rthe remotest chance of ever causing you to do something against your values / harmful - many hugs

So sorry for frustrating naps , shodatin , but thank you for making me laugh so much today
Thank you for lovely applewood smoke from or stove , Nilgiri

I missed it was apple, nice idea nilgiri

Thanks hob - it is tricky sometimes for posting.

Agree understanding not easy , and for posters ecperienced in this and in sharing these details with family , I 'd suggest a forum recommended by MN in the mh resources section - Mental Health Forumthe .

Sorry if you feel you said too much here ( don't forget we can ask to go to the less visible "place" )

The cmht person tomorrow might have time to help you with the question of what to say to close people
Please be incredibly kind to yourself xx

Sorry, I meant said too much to psych, they did ask such a lot of questions.

Ah , thank you for explaining - it's a horrible feeling having revealed more than you are comfortable with but of course it can seenm to the professional that the fairly intensive questioning i's revealing things in an efficient manner - in practice it probably confuses the issues < sigh >

Hope not too windy tonight - the moonlight has been silvery - white here this week

I hope the wind dies down too. I hope everyone has a good night.

I did understand about feeling you said too much this morning upward, but think that's part of not being well, like hearing the voices sometimes. They do have to ask a lot, and you must get tired of talking, but I believe the professionals need to know as much as possible in order to be effective, and it's only by being honest that you can help them to help you.
Having said that, I'll admit I don't know much about how it feels, but I'd ask one of the team tomorrow for ideas on what to say to family and friends.
The wind is really howling here; just as well I had all that sleep earlier as I feel it will keep me awake tonight.

The heating's off, so going to bed now - hope everyone has a good night, despite gales, particularly upward.

Upward sounds like a difficult day and horribly difficult set of decisions.

You actually seem to have a pretty firm grasp of the issues, even if you need notes to remember details. Could you ask the CMHT person to write a summary of decisions at the end of your meeting tomorrow? Even when not ill, it's easy to emerge from meetings with opposite ideas of what was said.

hob your insight is also fabulous (so sorry you lost a very valuable post). You and Upward are so knowledgeable and sharp about this stuff.

I can't contribute anything intellectual, so will just make to sustain morale. With optional marshmallows...

shodatin sorry you're also dormousing at the moment. Glad you had a little gallivant round the sales.

Hope we all get some sleep despite the wuthering tonight. Brrr!

I hope you're asleep despite the wind, shodatin and nilgiri and hob

Thanks for the advice all.

Oh upward, how sad that you're still awake at 4 a.m.. and how tiring it must be for you. Please make sure the right people know about this, and that it's not unusual for you these days. Hope all goes well at today's meeting, and that second party is listening as well as talking.
(Rakes out some ashes, allowing last of log to burn and adds more to fire - pretty clueless these days, and makes and biscuits all round).

Have you noticed the nearby thread about similar insomnia upward? Any new ideas here I wonder?

It is shodatin , unfortunately. I forgot to ask about sleep, too much talk of meds, day services and risk/safety. CMHT said they'd updated my risk assessment using yesterday's meeting.

Another meeting tomorrow. I forgot how much daily checks there are when they suggest day services.

Today's aim is to buy food.

Thinking of you all.

Good luck in shopping trip. Do you make a list before you go, to help when frazzled?

Thanks nilgiri There were too many people around. I'm trying to understand what people mean when they say depression/bipolar and schizo.

I'll try the corner shop later.

Oh, sorry you haven't been yet. I have to admit I haven't done my own food shopping in about 5 years - DP or carers do it all because getting me to the shops is such a palaver.

I'm afraid I don't know much about those different diagnoses, but I think a visitor to the cybergarden has bipolar disorder. Would it help to have her input?

Or start a thread with those in the title, asking for general experiences? (You could namechange if you fancied.)

Shame about the shopping, upward, and I do hope you can renew food supplies, either by yourself or by asking for help with it, because eating properly is so important and can affect one's mental health. Most of my experience of depression and schizo is from DB, and of course, I'm still learning, and although it must be frustrating not to understand completely, I honestly don't think you'd feel any better if you were a world expert on the subject. On the other hand, getting an improvement in sleep pattern would make a huge difference, and I do hope someone can help with this tomorrow.

Belated good morning all- wish I could donate some of my dormousy sleep to you , upward , and hope food shopping can be done later - I read it as you having tried shopping at largest place , but found it too crowded and will try corner shop later ?

There are of course websites and books which can help you get a clearer view of the medical model of these diagnoses , and ones concentraing more on the social model etc , but maybe you feel too stressed and exhausted to take much in at the moment ?

I wish you would ask a friend or relative to spend a few hours with you , but I wonder if you feel they might worry about you and mither you when your mind feels too crowded and exhausted to be with people anyway ? I do feel you need to have a way to feel the support & affection of loved ones while you're in this difficult period of waiting to see how the changes first stress you , then hopefully help ...

Really hope you have some "meal food" in - I am a quivering ball of anxiety without stodgy sensible food

I agree sleep is more important than understanding, shodatin You're right re:shopping hob I don't think looking at medical model would help. Good idea re: namechange, nilgiri

I'm unsure about them having a risk assessment at all, never mind updating it. Really need to watch what I say to who.

Just popping in to say I hope you got to the shop upward, and have some interesting food and a relaxing evening.

I have baked beans, thanks. Unsure about assessment tomorrow. I think sleeping a month would help me.

Hope everyone is surviving.

Might that mean beans on toast...? Mmm, yum!