Health anxiety

[Sunshinebay]

I feel like this has been going on for far too long but can't help myself. I panic at the slightest thing and end up a bag of nerves. I am paranoid about my breasts and am always checking them, I had a cyst 13 years ago and have never been the same since even though it was not serious. I am also having throat problems, a tight feeling that comes and go's depending on how I feel, also I am a singer and had a vocal haemorrhage and so had blood after singing, I am waiting to see a specialist and although it has probably healed now as it has been about 6 weeks since I last sang but I sometimes think I can taste blood especially in the night if I get up to use the bathroom and it really scares me. How can I help stop these feelings I have?

Sunshinebay - I'm guessing I have a form of HA

I am really scared of misdiagnosis, really,really scared of it; I'm close to the point not seeing the GP because he will get it wrong.

hi Katy, Why are you sooo convinced your Doc will get it wrong? Go and talk to him about your problem, if he is a good doctor, he will be understanding or ask him to refer you for CBT. There is a leaflet available from the NHS just on HA. I found it very helpful or there is a good website where you can get help. If you google 'understanding health anxiety' it should come up.

Mainly because they have, over & over again

I have counselling which works - I just need to set up some new appointments now I need to see people again

I tried CBT, but that fell apart when she agreed with me that there was no way I could believe them again

are you saying a doctor has misdiagnosed you in the past? If so, not all doctors are the same, I went to lots of different docs to find the right one and now I have and I know I can trust him.

I'm glad it's not just me feeling this way - although I'm not convinced I have HA either.

But, over this past week I've felt so bad I feel like crying constantly.

I am convinced I either have cancer or my heart is failling or both. I can't figure out what it is.

Although I keep telling myself not to be so bloody stupid and if there was something serious, I'd certainly have more symtoms than I do - I still can't shake it. I have pain - everywhere! It started off in my left side, just below my ribs (maybe kidneys, I dont know). I think this was real as it kept waking me when I was drifting off to sleep. But now I have sharp pains in my chest - different areas at different times, in my arms, other places in my stomach, my legs etc. I think that perhaps because the pain is in so many different areas it's a problem with my vains or I'm getting blood clots or something.

Other than the pain, I don't have any other symptoms, which I tell myself is a good thing (although still not convincing). I do feel tired an awful lot, but this is normal for me.

If I tell anyone, they say go to the doctors. But, I have a fear of that too. No way will I go!! IF I'm dying, I DO NOT want to know about it! I could not think of anything worse. And then I keep imagining myself in the hospital bed and thinking of my poor mother losing a 'child' and as a single parent imagining my little boy having to go into care and wonder where his mummy is. Just the thought is bringing tears to my eyes now.

Half of me is sure it's all anxiety, but the other half of me can't shake the "what if it's not".

Yep, they misdiagnosed dangerously:
Ectopic PG - Me
Chronic lung disease - DH
Prolapsed disc - Dad (3 times)
Bowel cancer - Aunt
Appendicitis - Mum (causing the below)
crushed aorta/femoral arteries - mum
Never mind the small & minor they get wrong - and it's many many doctor not just one

They seem to diagnose by exclusion, rather than look at the bigger picture; I have more faith in 'good' nurses as they 'see' the whole person

I think there is a shadowland between HA, GAD, Depression, tiredness... the list goes on. One can melt into the other really easily - the only thing that matters is how you feel, rather than naming it.

Steph I'm welling up as I read your post as so many of your thoughts are similar to mine. I was diagnosed with HA last Spring but can see now elements of other illnesses in the way I live, think and feel.

Katy I'm so sorry to hear of the trauma you have suffered through your life. It is hard to trust, and not assume the worst when so many bad things have happened. If you would rather not try CBT again, can you access another type of therapy through the NHS? A good friend of mine trained in a very different discipline to CBT and I can see that the work she does can help those for whom CBT was not effective. Or, of course, another CBT therapist may suit you better?

It's a comfort to know I'm not imagining these feelings. I keep thinking how good the internet and forums like this can be at reaching people with mental illness. I find it very very hard to 'take the mask off' when I'm around friends and family and it has really helped to know I'm not alone in feeling the way I do sometimes.

Gosh! I really thought that there was only me suffering from HA. I've been like this for so many years now. I not only worry about my own health, but family, friends etc etc. My DH has to go for an ultrasound at the urologist (at his request- the doctor said it was up to him whether he went or not). He's had 3 UTIs in 4 years, so not excessive, but now I am panicking and thinking that he has some slow burning chronic disease. Considering I am professionally, a methodical logcial person, it goes out of the window as far as health goes. So, I now keep looking at my DH as though he is on death's door. i hate feeling like this. Every little thing becomes a major illness. Aaargh. So glad I am not on my own though.

I heard an article on the radio about this organisation and had no idea they existed. Here's what they say about HA.

www.anxietyuk.org.uk/about-anxiety/anxiety-disorders/health-anxiety/#personal

Hi there,
Can I join this chat?
I think I may have HA.
I had a viral infection about 3 months ago (hand foot and mouth). At the time I noticed that my legs felt funny inside, a weird sensation. I actually think that I may have had a panic attack in bed thinking about it. Over a few minutes it got worse, I felt like my throat was tight and I felt like my face was in a spasm and I jumped out of bed thinking that something awful was happening to me physically. I immediatly thought that it might be a panic attack and tried to relax and breath slowly, which really helped.

Since then I have noticed periodically that I get twitching in my muscles, mostly in my legs and sometimes my hands and tummy, and sometimes pins and needles. I worry myself so much that I have a sinister illness...however, I notice that when I think about my symptoms they get so much worse. I literally start to feel lightheaded and feel really panicked, the trembling gets worse etc. So then I start to wonder if its psychological.

Its usually when I am sitting that I notice the symtoms. When I am busy and on the move there doesnt seem to be any - not that I notice anyway. And as I said, the more I think about them, the worse they get.
Periodically over the years I have had a panic about possible illnesses - I will worry for a couple of days and then forget about it.

I have to say that I don't feel anxious generally so thats why I am not sure if it IS anxiety....does that make sense? I have been thinking about when it all started...a few months ago my DS had a severe allergic rection and was diagnosed with nut allergy (he has others that we knew about). It was just after this that I had hand foot and mouth. I know that since then I have never really properly relaxed. I worry CONSTANTLY that he will have a reaction. I get on with life but the worry is always there, especially when I am not with him...for example, when I am working.

I dont want to minimise how I feel, because obviously if it didnt matter I wouldnt be on here now. I dont see myself as a stressed out person in every day life. I have a very demanding job where there is a high rate of sickness due to stress, high workload atc, and while I do feel pressure in work, I have never felt particularly stressed etc. I dont really panic at everyday situations and most people would say I am quite laid back. However, I worry about death, illness, losing people close to me etc. Recently I have noticed that if my house phone rings I automatically think something bad has happened. One morning the phone rang really early (7am) and my heart was racing so fast and I was trembling so much...I automatically think it must be something bad.

Sorry for the long post.

Hey, don't apologise! If you feel any sort of worry is taking over your life it is good to pay attention to how you are feeling. Would you feel comfortable going to discuss the way you feel with your GP or calling the helpline on the link I gave above? They are the experts and while they might not be able to diagnose they can put you in touch with those who can.

Good luck.

Isthereanychocolate.. have only read your post and don't have HA but think it is your reaction to the sudden, but serious allergy your ds had.It puts us on high alert for the next one.Work is different as it is not an emotional and overall responsibility in quite the same way.
Best help is action a plan...all things you have probably done, like all adults looking after ds at school to be trained in nut allergy, epipen use etc,prompt contact of you by mobile/ work/ambulance to be called immediately. If they / you have a plan, they will act promptly and everyone knows where they stand.

Thanks for the replies...music I think that you are probably right. I think that I Have probably worked myself up so much after my ds's reactions and now I wont relax. I literally cannot fully relax at any time. I'm not saying that I'm a constant wreck, but there is never a time when I'm not fully relaxed. Ah I know I need to find a way to deal with this. Actually since I posted I Have thought less about the twitching etc and I Have realised its not really been happening. Our minds are so powerful aren't they. JUSt talking about my feelings on here has helped.

Hi, your posts all seem so familiar. I have suffered from self diagnosed HA since the birth of my daughter nearly 2 years ago. It was a complicated c section and i almost died. Throughout the whole of my lengthy recovery i paniced there would be further complications, stitches coming undone, infection etc. I now regularly think about what would happen if i died now and it terrifies me. Plus i know that if i need any abdominal surgery in the future there will probably be similar complications. I am now terrified that every niggle is something serious that will require surgery. Not helped by the fact that i have severe endo. I also panic that i have cancer and the symptoms are being masked my the endo. Ovarian cancer is the usual concern but other types too. I mostly panic about myself but i do panic about DH and DD sometimes too. It's mostly under control but when i'm stressed about other things i seem to lose my grip on it a bit. Good to know i'm not alone, i've never met anyone else that suffers with it before.

isthereany.. not criticising just trying to help.. a normal reaction to something like that happening. Theres nothing so powerful as something sudden happening to dc imo

Oh music, I knew you werent criticising, your post was actually really reassuring. And I think that you are probably right.

I also had a c setion i didn't have any complications although it was an emergency since my son was a big baby and wasn't coming out the natural route. I was told also that I had fibroids when I was pregnant, as far as I know they come up when your pregnant then go down again but recently I have found myself wonderng about it and like morelovetogive, I wonder what every little twinge is. I had such a bad time after my son was born that it put me off having any more children. I am panicking a bit too since I am going to see the consultant regarding my throat on Friday as I am a singer and had a vocal haemorage back in June with bleeding after singing and also first thing in the morning, I found this really scary.I got myself into a real state over it and had the tight feeling in my throat for several months finding it hard to swallow which I know is all anxiety. Now I am thinking I have a strange sensaton in my throat and keep checking for swellings, its driving me nuts.