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Original poster

no orgasm since 14!!

84 replies

Baba · 23/11/2005 08:54

anyone got any advice. I have only ever once had an orgasm with a man (boy!) when I was 14 and it was obviously a fluke. I have them on my own but just don't with a man. I have slept with a lot of men and am married now (although having an affair) and neither of these men make me come, although I pretend that they do all the time. Any advice? PS I do try and relax!

OP posts:
Lonelymum · 23/11/2005 08:58

Do these men who are trying to make you come think it can only be done by penetration? Because if that is the case, that could be where you are going wrong....

Enid · 23/11/2005 08:58

guilt?

Lizzylou · 23/11/2005 09:00

Stop pretending and show them what works for you!

Enid · 23/11/2005 09:02

sorry baba I hope you dont mind I thought you might be a troll (apologies) so I searched your name and found that you had said this on an earlier thread:

"I know I am being so childish and have sooo many issues, one of them being that I am probably searching for something I will never find. I have only ever had one orgasm with a man and that was when I was 14.... I pretend I love sex and come across as really sexually agressive and confident but to be honest, I don't even like sex.

Sex with my dh is the same every time but that's not his fault I know as I should tell him what I like etc. I just find it very difficult and would rather not have sex at all. All this, and I still want another baby - I was adopted at 6 weeks old and think this has a lot to do with my insecurity."

I would have thought you have answered your own question. Learn to love yourself girl!

Original poster
Baba · 23/11/2005 09:06

Enid, I know where you are coming from and yes, I do have a lot of issues but I just think that it must be so wonderful to have an orgasm with someone else instead of on my own - it often feels so lonely!!

I have tried asking men to use their hands as it were but I just can't relax enough to enjoy it and they never do it right anyway, even though I have showed them.....

I don't want to fake them anymore!!!

OP posts:
Lonelymum · 23/11/2005 09:17

Feel ever so asking this, but have you tried oral sex? That is very hard to resist. A tongue is much softer and more erotic than fingers.

If you are with a man who truly loves you, he should keep going until it works for you and you should accept nothing less than the real thing.

jambuttie · 23/11/2005 09:22

Have you tried talking with hubby about this?

Maybe it's also the guilt of the affair too

titchy · 23/11/2005 13:30

A few glasses of wine does wonders for any hang ups or inhibitions Imay have . Not a permant answer of course but if it helps you relax a few times you might get used to doing what you do, or getting them to do what you want them to do IYSWIM

Original poster
Baba · 23/11/2005 14:01

I have tried getting completely comatose but just end up either falling asleep or wishing sex would hurry up but I can see where you are coming from (if you pardon the pun!).

OP posts:
SackAche · 23/11/2005 14:07

For those that keep throwing in guilt as the reason then just STOP!

This has nothing to do with Baba's affair and I think you are just using it as an excuse to air your disapproval.

Baba - Unless of course.... you've been having the affair since you were 14??!

kama · 23/11/2005 14:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

CliffRichardSucksEggsinHell · 23/11/2005 14:11

Sorry, I have to parp at this having contributed to Baba's other thread about how to leave her dh.

kama · 23/11/2005 14:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

LadySherlockofLGJ · 23/11/2005 14:15

Don't forget the seeking advice on TTC a while ago.

Confused, dont be, tune into next weeks edition of.............................

SackAche · 23/11/2005 14:19

Ahem.... this has been going on longer than Baba's marriage.... its a longterm problem.

Must admit though Baba its a bit strange starting the 2 threads at the same time! Make your mind up woman!!!!

CliffRichardSucksEggsinHell · 23/11/2005 14:20

And doing a BBC3 Docu called Making a Baby?

This woman is seriously confused!

Enid · 23/11/2005 14:21

sackache sorry to say this but I think you might be being a bit naive...

SackAche · 23/11/2005 14:21

Actually Baba - If my memory serves me correctly..... aren't you a journalist that was giving alot of flack on MN a while back???????

moondog · 23/11/2005 14:21

rofl kama...

SackAche · 23/11/2005 14:21

Hardly naive Enid!

LadySherlockofLGJ · 23/11/2005 14:22

ArrggggggggggHHH not Victoria Peckham again.

oliveoil · 23/11/2005 14:23

Have I told anyone it's my birthday today? I plan to have an orgasm later.

CliffRichardSucksEggsinHell · 23/11/2005 14:23

Ooooh, how long did that take us ladies????????

CliffRichardSucksEggsinHell · 23/11/2005 14:23

Happy Birthday OliveOil! How is sunny Oldham today

Enid · 23/11/2005 14:23

I know you arent naive sacky

but a lot of women might find that having an affair inhibits their ability to orgasm especially with their dh...? dont you think?