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Original poster

no orgasm since 14!!

84 replies

Baba · 23/11/2005 08:54

anyone got any advice. I have only ever once had an orgasm with a man (boy!) when I was 14 and it was obviously a fluke. I have them on my own but just don't with a man. I have slept with a lot of men and am married now (although having an affair) and neither of these men make me come, although I pretend that they do all the time. Any advice? PS I do try and relax!

OP posts:
Mercy · 23/11/2005 16:11

I agree Lonelymum.

I was slightly concerned re Baba's thread (bible code one) which I read this morning as a cuople of weeks ago I responded to her question about a one day period and though she may be suffering depression. Then got confused with everything

Enid · 23/11/2005 16:12

wow

think this thread is a bit out of hand tbh

I dont think baba is a troll

she has lots of worries and I dont agree with having an affair but you are all being pretty rough on her

Mercy · 23/11/2005 16:12

sorry - confused with everything else going off

Original poster
Baba · 23/11/2005 16:21

I wasn't going to post anything else but after looking through another few threads I want to say how bitchy some of you people are - there are a few references to my problems on different threads where people are obviously taking the p* and I for one think that is disgusting when you don't even know me and have obviously already made your mind up that I am some mad troll (I now know what that means and am not one for the tenth time)who is a journalist in her other life (I am not one of those either and find that greatly insulting).

Just to answer one question, in my own warped prozac mind I thought that if dh and I conceived that it would stop me having the affair and I could go back to being someone who was normal(ish) again. I know it doesn't make sense, I know I am all over the place, yes I am depressed, yes I am bulimic, yes I had sex at an early age, excuse after excuse after excuse but I still find most of your comments so hurtful, especially when you make fun of other people on other threads.

As far as the end of the world goes, this is just another thing that worries me greatly as well as the one day period incident that I had a few weeks ago.

And that is the end of my excuses - whatever you think of me.

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jambuttie · 23/11/2005 16:22

Baba you do seem a bit mixed up hun. Hopefully you can sort things out very soon but do agree with my fellow netters there is a lot going on at the moment surrounding you. You are right that you can have more than 1 issue ata time but this is very confusing.

Maybe forget the sex for now try speaking to a doctor to see if they can help with anything.

And ahem sex at 14 now if that was your child.........

jambuttie · 23/11/2005 16:24

maybe me veing silly but I am now intrigued regaring the other thread is there a ttc thread?

Now want to follow up and see the going on for myself[runs off to be nosey]

moondog · 23/11/2005 16:26

Baba,I don't think forums (is that the word??) will provide the answers to the sort of serious issues you feel you are facing.

And..if it's advice you're after then for God's sake,don't have a baby with your dh assuming it will resolve your affair-it will make everything a million times worse.

Hope you get some help.

SackAche · 23/11/2005 16:28

Having sex at 14 isn't really that unusual IMHO!! Anyway.... thats for another thread though.

Baba - There are more people on here that are not giving you hard time than those that are.

... just a thought..... would the man you're having an affair with still want to have sex with you if you were pg with your H's child?? And unless you stop sleeping with the other man, then you will never be 100% sure who the father is.

Doesn't make for a "happily ever after" ending I'm afraid.

SackAche · 23/11/2005 16:29

Baba - The reason I thought you were a Journalist was that I thought you and I had conversed a while back off of MN.... via email. And I was pretty sure it was a media issue. Ho hum.... must've been someone else with a similar posting name.

misdee · 23/11/2005 16:30

my suggestions for sex toys were serious btw, they canbecome part of your 'bedtime' routine with your dh and belive me some are really good

Original poster
Baba · 23/11/2005 16:36

I really, really want to have the willpower to say no to sex tomorrow night with the "affair" because,like I said we have only slept together once before (only, don't mean that to sound fickle) and its just the build up that is so appealing - like I said on an earlier thread, I don't even like sex that much in all honestly so there's another issue I have to deal with. I just feel like I contradict myself an awful lot and that must be hard to take for people on here so I just want to apologise for that and can understand how people think I am a troll.

How can I keep away tomorrow night? I really want him but my conscience is now fighting back-I just feel so confused, don't know whether I want to be or deserve to be in a relationship with dh or not - I am hurting everyone including myself and my son and my dh. We have been together since 2000 and only got married last year so we would all have the same name. I loved him madly that day but something has happened to me to fall out of love. I don't know what. Maybe because we hardly see each other, maybe because I am in self-destruct mode. Who knows?

OP posts:
misdee · 23/11/2005 16:37

just dont show up tomorrow. say no.

Original poster
Baba · 23/11/2005 16:37

and sackache, I have never heard of you, never mind been a journalist. I do a lot of writing of poems and screenplays (or did before I went on the prozac as it takes all your creative juices away!) but have never e-mailed you in my life - I only hope you believe me.

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Original poster
Baba · 23/11/2005 16:38

misdee I can't not show up. I have to do the 5-7 shift for the seminar and show guests in, take their payments and show them round the showroom for the equipment. Then "affair" sells them and then they go home.

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SackAche · 23/11/2005 16:39

Baba - I used to be Toothache.... or M2T?

Noone can give you willpower! Its you decision.... only YOU can say NO!

Original poster
Baba · 23/11/2005 16:40

no, never heard of you!! I have not been on Mumsnet since 2002 - I used the same name but was too busy flogging aloe vera to be a journalist!!! That's what I used to do for a living - work for FLP and then gave up when I didn't make any money..... unless this rings a bell, it wasn't me?!

OP posts:
SackAche · 23/11/2005 16:41

So what Baba... you have to do to work.... you don't have to shag the bloke you work with!

YOUR DECISION!

...oh and I've been there... and know sincerely how difficult it is... but it was still ultimately my choice.

SackAche · 23/11/2005 16:42

YES Baba. I'm pretty certain it was you. We even discussed all the flack you'd had on MN! I've been here since 2001.

Original poster
Baba · 23/11/2005 16:42

I know, I know I know.
God why is it so difficult - I know it shouldn't be......

OP posts:
Original poster
Baba · 23/11/2005 16:42

what did we talk about? I do remember everyone giving me loads of stick for not knowing that you can't just advertise!

OP posts:
SackAche · 23/11/2005 16:44

I can't remember why we were talking viw email..... but I definitely remember saying that I couldn't understand all the fuss MNer's made at the time. Then you disappeared for ages.

jambuttie · 23/11/2005 16:49

I agree don't tun up, take a sicky if thats what it takes but you really need to start addressing your issues. Not only as you say is it affecting you but also hubby and your wee lad.

Be strong you need to decide what you want.

And ask yourself the question- if I give up on my marriage will"affair" want me or am I a quick fumble only?

jambuttie · 23/11/2005 16:49

will "affair" be able to handle commitment to you

MeAndMyBoy · 23/11/2005 17:16

Baba - i can understand exactly where you are. Been in a very similar situation myself. For me the affair was to get partner at the time to pay ME some attention and to acknowledge that I existed.

So not seeing your DH maybe part of it, but also being depressed you will have very little feeling about anything, I always obsess about people I care about getting hurt or dieing when I am depressed - it's usually the thing that makes me realise where I am going mentally.

What about setting a Date night? with DH - pack a picnic got and find a secluded spot and eat in the car - have a laugth and a giggle together.

The Nookii suggestion was serious too - I get very embarrassed talking about what makes me feel nice and so this was an easy way of doing it - we giggled about some of the silly cards and didn't do them but some of the others - Phew!!!!

I would suggest take one step at a time - what needs fixing first? do you want to be with the affair or with DH? then plan how to do it.

Take care and good luck

h x

Mercy · 23/11/2005 17:23

Baba I don't know how old you are but you seem to have had a lot on your plate in recent times which of course is stressful. I've had to deal with some the things you've mentioned - but over the course of 20 years or so.

Have you considerd counselling? Talk to your GP, Relate, good friend, mum even.