Trih/Hair Pulling. Time to Stop.

[ashamedandhorrified]

I've been pulling out my own hair for 20 years now. This is something I"m completely ashamed of.

Mostly, I don't realise I"m doing it until it's too late, and by then I'm horrified by what I've done. Hence the name change.

The rest of my life is great. I did have a fairly traumatic experience when I was younger, which I don't want to get into as it's quite indentifying, but I wonder if that has caused this.

Anyway...I've been 'pull free' for 2 days now, and wondering if anyone else wants to join me in trying to stop this? Or even just offer some moral support. I can't tell anyone in RL, although they obviously know something is wrong.

Interesting blog from an eyelash puller:-

atrichysituation.blogspot.com/

I'm particuarly interested in the part where she says some people believe it takes 21 days to break a habit. I'm now on day 8, so 21 days is my new goal!

Thanks for the link, makes interesting reading. I like the sound of the 'worry stones' might give them a try.

So...just wondering how you're all doing?

I had my hair cut today and they guy was fantastic. I actually cried at the end of it (with happiness)...what an idiot! I was just so overcome with emotion when I saw how nice he'd made it look.

It's the first time in years that I haven't seen bald patches when they show you the back of it.

Gad...filling up even now!!!

Ahh, good for you ashamed, I was thinking about your haircut today! So glad it looks so fab. A new start!

Thanks vinorosado. It feels good

Well done ashamed! I'm so glad you had a good time. Can't post much as have 2 grumpy girls with chicken pox! But last 2 days have not pulled at all and every time I've felt like doing it have managed to stop. All down to this thread I feel. Will try to come back this eve to have a read of your link.

ashamed i've been thinking of you too, I'm so glad your haircut went well! Enjoy your fab new cut!

I am now on day 8 of not picking - well, I do still pick but only for a few moments about once a day so I don't do much damage. My DP is having a few days off which is helping me as I cant sneak off and indulge in my habit. But it also means I cant reply to this thread as much as I'd like.

I think I'm a somewhat anxious person, I also like to do things a certain way and will overthink if things don't go the way I like. When i'm nervous, as well as skin picking I also bite the skin inside my cheek and my lips, and pull of little bits of skin with my teeth.

feelingbrave I do think of 'treats' like bodylotion I could use to stop picking, unfortunately they do not help. I can go a few weeks without picking but then I always start again 'just picking a little bit' and before I know it my legs look awful again. I need to try and not fall back into my habit. Well done you for not pulling for 2 days!

Just a quick post, as I'm off out soon. Well down on the no pulling & picking! I also really feel the thread is helping me stay focused on not doing it.

Sorry to hear your girls are ill Feelingbrave .

Right...need to remember not to pull after

Down??? Done. Clearly.

How's everyone getting on? It's been a good week for me (despite 'poxy' children!). I seem to have had an injection of will power since joining this thread!

Have just had a read of the blog you mentioned ashamed. It made interesting reading - particularly the stuff about 21 days. This would make day 7 for me (nothing since last sunday), so onwards and upwards. How is the beautiful new hairdo?

idliketostop - re the bodylotion, I wondered as much. I have tried in the past to wear eye make up and make my eyes look good but somehow that isn't enough. My fingers would still wonder towards my eyes without me even being aware of it. And then the damage is done, almost before you realise it. This week I have tried to be more aware of where my fingers are and this seems to have helped.

Hi feelingbrave. So pleased for you - 7 days is fantastic! Do you still feel the urges as much?

I'm onday 13 & no pulling. I never thought I'd manage this, so feeling pleased with myself. I just need to stay focused & keep going.

Having my hair done regularly should help, I think. This all started for a number of reasons, one of which was a grooming type reason. I can't cope with hair sticking up, or split ends. Hmmnn...this could get expensive!

Hope everyone else is doing well.

Two weeks! It's been two weeks!!! Can't believe it. I need to make it to three weeks now.

I think I'm feeling less urge to pull now, although I've started chewing my nails a bit, so they've suffered.

Still I'd rather have tatty nails, than bald patches!

ashamed I was just thinking about you this morning, trying to work out how many days you'd managed now. That's excellent - well done! Here, have a in celebration.

You're right, tatty nails is much easier to sort than bald patches!

Glad to hear that the urge to pull is getting weaker. I had an almost desperate desire to pull yesterday but managed not to do it. I hope the desire goes away. Day 9 for me now! This is the longest I've ever managed.

I hope everyone else is doing OK. Memoo and idliketostop how are you getting on? Hope all is well.

Well done everyone, really interesting thread. I also pull my hair out, i particularly relate to what you said earlier about finding a rough one and running it through your teeth. God that sounds weird reading that back, I suppose it is though really to most people. DH doesn't really comment on it but my DDs do.

I don't have bald patches but lots of areas with much shorter hair than the rest with looks odd.

Well done stopping for so long, and congrats on your new hair cut, I know it takes courage to go to the hairdressers.

I am also worse when I'm not busy, if i'm chilling watching tv, reading, driving it is worse and I suddenly notice a little pile of hair on me. I'm generally a very laid back sort though, don't really get anxious or stressed about very much. I do like things to be neat and tidy though so maybe it is an OCD trait.

Keep up the good work anyway and i will try to join you, starting now!!

Thanks FeelingBrave. I hope your DCs are feeling better? Well done on supressing the urge when it was strong yesterday. I know how difficult it can be.

Did you use any techniques to stop? I'm still taking deep breaths, relaxing my shoulders or 'scrunching' my hair. And biting my nails, as I said before (that's not such a good one haha).

Welcome sandyballs! Good to have someone new to the thread. We're all just doing our best not to pull/pick etc.

How is everyone else doing?

Has anyone ever stopped before? If so, how long did you manage? Do you know what made you start again?

I have never stopped, but I did drastically reduce it for a year before my wedding, as I was so terrified of looking like a freak on the day. I really ramped up the pulling though, after the birth of my first child. I think the need to have some me time by zoning out, was just too great.

Anyway...would be good to hear from others' experiences.

Hi everyone, i would like to join please as i could really do with the help.

I pull my hair out but it has only started recently,(2 and a half years) i am aware of a couple of triggers which could of started it

1 giving birth
2 finding out your husband has been cheating
3 being given metroxeate for psoriasis

considering all of those i was in a major state, and for me it was a release. I tried talking about it to who i thought i could rely on but got a horrid response.( I was told to sort my F**king head out! and was doing it for attention.

My husband was the worst and threatened alsorts, i've no support network and daren't admitt to anyone its starting again

Hi Challenge. So sorry to hear you've had such a rough time lately.

Many of us on here don't have much support, because it's too difficult for us to speak to anyone about it. That's the reason for starting this thread - for support. I hope you will find us helpful.

Are you on day 1? Did you do this before and have now come back to it after a break?

I've tried to stop before, but have never been so committed to it. I think this thread is really helpful in staying focused.

As far as i'm aware it only started after discovering my husbands affair, but do recall an issue with my hair when i was 5-6 years old. But i don't remember if it was hair pulling.

My parents are long gone so can't ask anyone. When it does happen it gets very very extreme and i end up 75% bald but i managed to blame it on the tablets i was given by the hospital to treat my psorasis, the only reason i stopped was because there was nothing else left to pull.

I grew my hair back but purposley kept my hair cut very short, to stop all temptation which worked for me. so by now had been hair pulling free for 1 year.

I have recently given birth to my 2nd child who is all full of the joys of spring but my urge to pull is getting strong, i don't think it's post natal depression because other than the hair pulling i'm fine. I think i'm more afraid of history repeating it's self.

Congratulation on DC2 . I did find it very difficult when the DC were small. I pulled a lot after they'd been crying and I finally managed to settle them.

I also think lack of sleep can be a factor. Are you getting much sleep?

There are some interesting videos on YouTube if you get a chance to look. I've recently watched some, and found it reassuring to see others have the same problem. It also made me more determined to not let it get to that stage. They seemed so unhappy .

I have stopped counting days of not picking, as I've been doing some picking over the last couple of weeks. Nowhere near as bad as I have been though, and thinking of this thread has really helped me stop myself.

I would post more, but DD2 isn't sleeping very well at the moment, and I cant seem to engage my brain!

I feel for you idliketostop. Sleep deprivation is awful.

I don't think it matters how often we all post anyway. We know the thread is here if we need it.

It's really great that you've been picking less. Particularly if you've not been getting much sleep. I know I found it too hard to stop pulling when the DC were small.

I'm on day 16 now, and hoping to make it to my goal of 21 days. Definitely feeling less of an urge, which helps.

I keep dreaming of having lovely long, thick hair. Maybe one day...

challenge sounds like you have been through / are going through a really rough time. I'm sorry that things have been so difficult for you and that you've not been able to find the help that you need in RL. Keep talking to us if you need to - we are all in the same boat.

ashamed you must be on day 17 now! I hope all is going well. If you carry on at this rate, you are going to have to consider changing your name!

idliketostop not being able to sleep is horrible. For me, it has been the single most awful thing about having children. The fog of not being able to concentrate even on simple things. Ugh. Don't beat yourself up about picking. That was yesterday. Today is today. Just because you didn't do it then, doesn't mean you can't today (hope you see what I mean).

I am now on day 12 and feeling good about that. However a displacement activity seems to involve eating which I am going to have to stop otherwise I will have beautiful eyelashes but be the size of a bus! DDs are now recovering from the pox, which is fortunate because I being to find the house arrest a bit too difficult to deal with.

Hi...how is everyone doing?

FeelingBrave did you make it over the 2 week mark?

This is day 21 for me. Over the last week or so, I haven't felt the urge to pull at all. However, last night I caught myself stroking my hair and had to force myself to stop. I was watching TV at the time, so totally relaxed. I wonder if it's because I have PMT, so feeling a bit more wound up?!

I think the hardest thing about stopping, is that I don't know if my hair will improve or not. If it does, it'll be a long time before it's noticeable, which is a bit of a downer. At least if someone's on a diet they don't need to wait too long to see an improvement.

Sigh...

ashamed well done for making it to 21 days. I really hope your hair will grow out eventually. However, even if there is no improvement hair-wise for awhile, you still have the emotional benefits that come with not pulling, ie not feeling anxious about pulling, trying to resist pulling and so on.

This weekend I was thinking a bit about why I pick at my legs. I've been told I got quite nice legs and if I didn't pick my legs I think they would be one of my best features. I might come across a bit like an amateur psychologist now, but I was wondering if I do it to punish myself? I pick more when I'm feeling anxious (although I might not be aware of feeling anxious at the time iykwim), and when I feel anxious I feel useless, and if I'm feeling useless then I feel like I do not 'deserve' to look like a normal human being, and therefore I punish myself by destroying my looks by picking at my skin. Does this make sense at all?

Hi idliketostop! I think you might have something there. I was always told my hair was my best asset. It was lovely and long, thick & shiny .

It would be good to hear if anyone else can relate to this too.

I don't think I have the feeling you describe of uselessness. I think it's more that I have low self esteem generally.

I sometimes wonder if it's a plea for help. So..I pull out my hair (my best feature) because people have obviously noticed it, so they'll notice that it's gone wrong, that something's up.

I have had previous issues with anorexia and bullimia. Not sure if it's all linked. Maybe I do it to signal for help...unfortunately, our GP told my parents to ignore all of it when I was younger. Apparently it would then go away by itself. .