Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Original poster

I feel I am reaching the end

119 replies

NelsonsGirl · 09/10/2005 14:50

Just that really. I feel I am reaching the end. I have given, given, given for years and I just don't get anything back. I have just had a massive breakdown in front of the family and still nothing changes. I don't want to go on like this. I want to run away from my life.

I have changed my name for this post as I don't feel I will get a response under my usual name. Can anyone spend a bit of time talking to me?

OP posts:
elsmommy · 09/10/2005 15:01

No advice, just couldn't ignore your post

Could you talk to your dp/dh?

Original poster
NelsonsGirl · 09/10/2005 15:03

No he is sick of hearing it.

OP posts:
elsmommy · 09/10/2005 15:05

Has something happened today?

LadySherlockofLGJ · 09/10/2005 15:05

A??

ediemaybeabat · 09/10/2005 15:07

Please ring the Samartitans - they will listen to you and are incredibly supportive. The number is in your phone book and they will be able to talk for as long as you need to talk, about anything you need to talk about.

Original poster
NelsonsGirl · 09/10/2005 15:09

Oh sorry, I don't mean I feel like suicide. I just mean I want to walk away from my life of drudgery and financial hardship. Nothing happened today that doesn't happen every day. I uppose that is why I feel so low. My life is so monotonous and unchanging and I just want to go back to how it once was (pre-children).

OP posts:
Blackduck · 09/10/2005 15:12

Know where you are coming from...I sometimes just want to run away, feel like I'm in a one way street and its all give (from me...). No advice, just wanted you to know you are not alone....

ediemaybeabat · 09/10/2005 15:13

I understand - but the Samaritans are there to talk through anything and everything - mainly to listen while you talk. It isn't just for people thinking about suicide. It is a fantastic service, honest, I used to be one. Give it a try.

Original poster
NelsonsGirl · 09/10/2005 15:14

But what to do when you just feel you don't want to go on with it anymore? This isn't a whim brought on by anything that happened today. This is how I feel after years of living this boring, slavelike existence.

OP posts:
tina1975 · 09/10/2005 15:16

hey we're always here for a chat x what would you like to do? is it possible? any realistic goals? walk in the park! beer at the pub! just something to get out of the rut. i like to be around people when im feeling low may not be much but im here if you need an ear!! x

Blackduck · 09/10/2005 15:17

I don't know - get help? Work out what would make a difference and try to implement it? Down tools and refuse to do any more until they see how much they take you for granted?

ediemaybeabat · 09/10/2005 15:19

Please try phoning. I can't stay online today as I have visitors due to turn up but I do think you're right about needing to talk to someone about how this has built up and how you are feeling today. I am sure it would begin to help. Good luck and here's the number - 0845 7909090

Original poster
NelsonsGirl · 09/10/2005 15:20

I sadi to dh today that I would like a treat or a change of something to do, but here I am in front of the computer and he is glued to the Grand Prix. So nothing changes. I barely leave the house at all these days: school run in the afternoon, supermarket, occasional appointment. That is it. Never a day out for pleasure. A treat for me is to find a film on TV I would like to watch. I used to be someone with an interesting job, money to spend, an opinion on every subject, a night out every weekend. What has happened? Where has it all gone?

OP posts:
Original poster
NelsonsGirl · 09/10/2005 15:21

I can't phone the Samaritans as I don't have any privacy to talk. That is why I am online as I can do it surrounded by people but not noticed.

OP posts:
tina1975 · 09/10/2005 15:23

first thing tomorrow find an activity to do join a club start a college course go to keep fit anything that will get you actively envolved with other people and out of the house? this will help with the negative feelings of being 'stuck in doors'

Blackduck · 09/10/2005 15:23

Okay how far is the local cinema? Find out what's on - tell him he's got the kids and go...
At least get out of the house for a while...

madmarchscare · 09/10/2005 15:23

What was the massive breakdown in front of family?

Original poster
NelsonsGirl · 09/10/2005 15:35

Oh I just lost it and had a big scream at them all. I told them all how much I do for them and how little I get back. I told them how I go out each week to buy them nice food and then they don't eat it - well I could have used that money to buy myself something to wear because at the moment there is no money for me to buy myself clothes. I suggested that if I went away, nothing in their lives would continue as before as everything pivots around me. You know, the usual stuff. All of it ignored.

OP posts:
Original poster
NelsonsGirl · 09/10/2005 15:38

There isn't any money for clubs, social life, cinema. We are not poor - most people would think we were privileged - but we have bitten off more than we can chew financially.

OP posts:
madmarchscare · 09/10/2005 15:39

In front of the kids too?

I think its 'sit down and have a serious chat with DH time'.

Original poster
NelsonsGirl · 09/10/2005 15:41

How do you mean In front of the kids too? Do you mean did I say all that? Oh yes. I say it to some degree or another most days.

OP posts:
madmarchscare · 09/10/2005 15:43

Yes, thats what I meant. I wasnt having a go though, I mean, and as youve just said, if this is what comes out daily then people tend to close there ears to it.

madmarchscare · 09/10/2005 15:44

Can you and DH gat some time alone to chat?

Original poster
NelsonsGirl · 09/10/2005 15:46

I don't think he knows what to do, to be honest with you. He says I can go back to work if I want to but I have been out of work so long, I don't know I could go back. Also, I just think I would be adding to my stress levels wouldn't I?

OP posts:
madmarchscare · 09/10/2005 15:48

Maybe if you went back it would take your mind off some of the things that stress you out.