Insomnia friends; bye bye 2010 the year of bad sleep, hello 2011 the year of good sleep!

[BeckyBendyLegs]

How about this then everyone?

Ok, the last night as bad as last night was October (well also one in November when DS1 was vomiting but that doesn't count really). But you understand, don't you, the fear of 'going back' every time there is a blip? It feels so real and so scary. I can't even bear to think about those times. I remember once taking DS2 to a play group one sunny Tuesday in March and I'd had two nights of two hours sleep each and I thought I was going to die of sleep deprivation. Of course I didn't. I slept that following night. But I don't want to go there again. My logical head says 'don't be silly, you have come soooo far since then' but my emotional head is louder than my logical head today. Ho hum. Keep calm and carry on! How are you today?

I know that fear well Becky. It bothers me a lot, followed by the 'logical' conclusion that I will lose my friends as a consequence of not getting better.

I feel a bit brighter today I think

I need someone to tell me to snap out of it, please. I slept better last night. Took me ages to get off as DS3 woke up just as I went to bed and cried on and off for an hour. Then I used Paul McKenna and tried that tense each muscle relax each one thing that some people swear by. Both worked. Slept like a log until 7am. But anxiety is back with a vengence. I hate it. I just feel like crying all the time. I want to be the old me again and I was nearly there just before this blip.

Becky that anxiety is just a leftover from yesterday!!

And from last night when you were no doubt worried about sleeping.

You are doing fine fine fine xxxxxxxx

Won't be around much today because...

Happy birthday ds

Happy birthday madmouse's ds!

Hi Becky

Just wondered what you tend to get anxious about. Is it just general or specific things?

Hope you feel better as the day goes on x

Happy birthday Madmouse's DS!!!!

Orangeflutie I am generally an anxious person I think: worrying about work, keeping the house tidy, the DSs, etc. But specifically at the moment I am worried about feeling as bad as I did when sleep was a major, major obsession with me this time last year. I felt awful then: it was all I thought about all day every day. I get scared about being lonely at night when I can't sleep too and being stuck in my head with my thoughts. I hate that. I am worried about coping the next day too after a bad night. I had sort of more-or-less got over all that though because I had been through it, had bad days and bad nights, and survived. Hoping it is just memories playing tricks on me.

becky so sorry you had a bad night the night before last. It's hideous Sometimes there just seems to be nothing you can do, but to just let them happen. The good thing is you DID sleep last night, so you know it was just a blip. I know what you mean about the anxiety though. Sometimes all your rational, reasonable thoughts are just not enough to take it away. I quite often get painful stomach aches / headaches which I know are anxiety related and just don't know what to do about them.

I've been using paul mckenna again too lately and finding it helpful. Last night I lay on my back as I was listening and suddenly became aware that the CD had stopped and I had actually fallen asleep during it! Normally I hear all the way to the end and it just relaxes me. But it did actually send me to sleep last night (even though I woke again before going properly off to sleep). I'm feeling glad that I can put the CD on rather than having to resort to medication at the moment. Am really hoping to make it to 12 weeks without having taken any medication.

madmouse happy birthday to your DS! Very exciting! I bet he is loving all the attention. Enjoy your special day. Is DH around to spend the day together today?

Hi my name is Jo and I DO NOT SLEEP WELL. Not since my DC were born some 11 years ago. Lately been getting worse not for any particular reason. I can sleep anywhere anytime during the day when I just feel drained...then seem to be more alert at night when I don't want to be. Am trying to be in bed by 10.30 - some nights can get off to sleep ok and others will lie kinda semi-conscious up to midnight. Can wake up anything up to 4 times a night - every night WITHOUT fail. Cannot remember the last unbroken night's sleep have had. Got sleeping tablets off the dr. last week and they will get me to sleep but not keep me asleep. This is starting to affect my looks which is getting me down. I am 40 and have always looked young for my age but lately I just look tired all the time. Puffy eyes, dark circles, sallow skin and most importantly I have no zest for life but not sure if the sleep is the problem. The last 2 days when have dropped kids off to school have gone back to bed cause I just can't be bothered with anything atm. Is lack of sleep making me depressed? Would be interested in the Paul McKenna help. What way does it work.

Hi Jo welcome - always space for more on here

I'm sure one of the McKenna fans will enlighten you shortly. I've never tried it as in my case I don't end up lying awake worrying about being awake which I think he is good for. My sleep is just very erratic and at times sh*te due to PTSD, nightmares, flashbacks etc.

It is quiet on here, how is everyone?

Hello! I'm ok today - slept very well last night so my confidence is better today. Sigh. Why is my positive / negative thinking so strongly related to how much sleep I get?

mykiddies Paul McKenna has a book and CD 'I can make you sleep' and GetDown on here and me both swear by him. I listen to the CD (via DH's old ipod) and it really helps me relax and sleep. The book also offers lots of great tiips.

Can't talk much, feeding DS3 a banana!

Welcome mykiddies I dont rate Paul Mckenna but others swear by him. Cannot abide his bloody voice which means the CD is no good for me. But To each their own

Been on the Fluoxetine for just over a week now. Sleeps not been better but its early days yet. I have 2 weeks off work on a sick note which I bloody hate but the AD make me really anxious at first and cant look after other people in this state really.

On a better note I have taken the advice of my CPN and am looking for own house, she thinks me living with my parents is becoming a bit of a crutch and I agree. So off to Mum and DD a cottage I viewed later to today. Hope my mum likes it cos her and Dad are loaning me the money for the bond and first months rent They are far too good to me.

Anyhoo, hope everyones doing ok!

Hi everyone

Welcome mykiddies

I've had about three nights now waking at 3 or 4 in the morning needing my inhaler:( Bit of a nuisance. Last night I think I cracked the asthma problem as I used a serevent inhaler which I haven't used for nearly a year, and had a puff before bed (together with my nasal spray) joy!.

However still woke up at 3 needing the loo, but not wheezing for a change and then didn't get back to sleep for over an hour. Grrrr so annoying!

I'll stick to the same plan again tonight and see what happens. My breathing is absolutely fine during the day so there's no point in seeing the doctor, but I seem to be getting some sort of 'rhinitis' at night.

I'm not feeling particularly tired during the day but do look a bit dark under the eyes.

Glad you had a better night Becky.

madmouse hope your DS was thoroughly spoilt yesterday and you had fun.

How are you doing GetDown? Btw my sister's baby is due at the end of July.

frikadela hope you have a better night tonight x

Boo everyone! Hope you are all ok. I'm sleeping better at the mo. Waking about 4 times a night but sleeping nonetheless. I'm having a friend nightmare at the moment. There are four of us who are really good friends here, all have a child in Year 2. We all went on holiday together in October half term and three of us got on really well and one found it a bit hard going. So things haven't quite been the same since then anyway. But this friend's son (in DS1's class) is a little monster. I had him to sleep over once and it was really, really hard work. Anyway on Friday he slept over at one of the other's houses and he was awful - he jumped on her son, he threw things down the stairs, he was insolent, laughed in my friend's face when she told him off, etc. She was in tears by the time she got her husband to take him back home the next morning. Well this little boy's mum thinks he is an angel and cannot understand what went wrong. The tearful friend is waiting for some sort of apology from the boy and his mum but the mum isn't going to because she can't see what her boy has done wrong. She keeps saying 'he's not like that at home'. So the foursome is broken and it is horrible as I don't like tension and I like everyone! I just want them all to make up and be friends again. It's worse then being at bloody school again. Sorry, long story!

Boo back Becky

Glad you're sleeping better again - I knew you would. Sorry about your friend situation. I have noticed before that you are extremely conflict averse so this is hard for you, but it is life and it happens. Can you call a tea conference for all four of you, preferably childless, and get it sorted?

To respond to an earlier post of yours, I believe anxiety is like water, it always takes the easiest way in. With you that is sleep, with me it is losing people.

I'm tired, had a bad night. My head is spinning. My brother got back in touch after many years. he asked to be my facebook friend and I accepted. We chatted. Problem is, he's a convicted (and rehabilitated!) sex offender, I'm an abuse survivor, not an easy mix. After two days of stressing I've taken him off my facebook again as I did nothing but obsess over my friends' children. Explaining that to him involved telling him of my abuse, which he didn't know. Hard . We now chat on yahoo, safer. We had a long and deep conversation last night. On top of that a good friend admitted feeling low and I'm fretting abotu that too. Then ds had what seemed to be a night terror and was inconsolable for about 45 mins around midnight and at 2.30 the doorbell rang, twice. No one there. Aargh.

Rant over.

How's everyone else doing?

Hey guys!

Just a quick one. not slept past couple of nights due to the absolute agony that is my throat, I had my. tonsils out on the promise that I wouldnt have to put up with this crap anymore!

anyway, my mum loves the cottage, as does dd. she loved the little cubby hole in what hopefully will be her room. so fingers crossed I get it. just hope the stress of moving doesnt affect me too much

other than that im not doing too bad, still very anxious and on edge but it isnt unmanageable. Had a good long cry last night about my throat to my mum, my dad obviously had the most constructive thing to say by telling me to 'man up, its only a tickle' bloody men!

Hi all! Absolutely shattered here but not due to insomnia... DD has not slept properly the last two nights, keeps tossing and turning and crying and whimpering in her sleep. Poor thing, it's either teething or developmental changes I think (she's suddenly starting to talk!)
The good thing is I managed work today including an intense 3 hour meeting this afternoon on very little sleep (but a fair bit of chocolate and caffeine) so the fear of lack of sleep is receding all the time...
will write more later.
Sorry to hear about your friends becky are you going to try and stay out of it and hope they make it up between themselves?
Sorry about your throat frikadela I have amaddening tickly throat at bedtime again. Is yours very sore? Mine is 'only a tickle' but annoying none the less!

Hi ladies

Sorry you are waking up feeling wheezy orangeflutie that must be a real pain. DH has asthma but thankfully doesn't get it too badly, except if there is a cat around when he wheezes really badly. You mention you don't get it during the day? Do you think it would be worth changing your pillows? There may be dust mites irritating you at night.... just a thought.

DH said to me yesterday about getting a new mattress which would be very exciting! Ours is quite old and I'd love a lovely new fresh one!!

Welcome to mykiddies sorry you have sleep troubles too, it sucks it really does. Arrghh. I wonder if by forcing yourself to be in bed by 10:30 you are actually going to bed too early? I know it sounds mad when you are so tired, but I find if I go to bed too early it really screws up my sleep and I just end up lying there wide awake for ages. I need to feel really sleepy before I attempt bed these days.

frikadela hope the fluoxetine starts kicking in soon. Well done for getting the prescription. Not an easy decision sometimes. Hope the house hunting goes well. Exciting! Sorry about your throat though - bummer. Have you had this problem a long time? Maybe now your tonsils are out it has gone to your voice box? Hope not, it's horrible having a sore throat, you don't want to eat or laugh or swallow, or do anything. Hugs.

becky that sounds really difficult about the rift in your friendship group. It's awful when you feel you have to tell off someone else's child, let alone when the mother is a good friend! He does sound a little horror!! I dont envy you it's a tricky situation. Do you still do your thursday coffee morning, and have the two friends come and chatted together lately? Seems to me the longer this thing festers, the harder it will be to resolve. Hope you can be "mediator" in this situation. What do you do about a mother who thinks their child is an angel though, when clearly they are not! I would be mortified if my child behaved like that at someone elses house!!

madmouse hi there love you sound very worn down with a lot on your mind. I didn't know that about your brother, I am so sorry what a horrible thing to have to deal with esp in the context of the abuse I'm glad that you are in touch in a safe setting and hopefully you can put this part of your past at peace, as you get to know each other again. Sorry you are sleeping badly. No wonder with so much going on. How's things at your new church have you made any nice new friends?? Hope there are some kind people who will welcome you.

I will be 8 weeks on sunday (gulp) Had a really sicky day yesterday - which was actually encouraging - but today nothing again which is really weird, you'd think if HCG is rising it would get steadily worse>? Who knows? Ah well. Went to the GP yesterday and finally acknowledged my pg to someone other than DH ( and you guys of course!) so now am "in the system" which is a bit scary. The GP said I need to get in touch with the perinatal psychiatrist asap, but I am holding off as I don't want her to give me drugs!!!

Thankfully I am sleeping ok, still waking up in the night quite a lot but seem to be getting enough overall.

Love to all xx

Cross post with arcadia - great to hear from you. Sorry DD is keeping you awake, well done for pressing on through the sleep deprivation and getting through your meeting at work

Thanks getdown FWIW my sickness was really variable from day to day when i was pregnant, some days bad and some days nothing, right up to delivery!, so try not to worry. Glad you're sleeping OK. x

Ditto sickness thing - I'd have the odd really horrible day, and then a few days of feeling fine!

GetDown I mediated in the end and told Mother-of-Monster friend to talk to Mother-who-cried-after-sleepover friend and they have had a good talk and sort of made up! So phew! We still do have Thursday coffee mornings but it was going to be awful if these two didn't talk!!!

Arcadia DS3 is also not sleeping brilliantly at the mo. His talking is really coming on and it is soooo lovely. He said bye-bye to Morrisons today and he was getting lots of smiles from the other customers!

Aah that's so cute! It's lovely isn't it becky! Especially as I am a very chatty person myself (and DP isn't !) I 'm really enjoying it and love it when she chats away and interacts with people and tries to say things.
Yesterday at the soft play place we went to she was pointing and saying 'baby' a lot (even though she's one herself!).
Do you think the sleep thing is linked with the learning to talk thing?

I am sure it is. DS3 is going through a bad time with naps too. He screams and screams in his cot. I go in, lay him down, reassure, leave, go back, lay him down, etc. But it is lovely that they are changing and growing. They become real little personalities when they start to talk.

I have had some really positive happy feelings in the past few weeks, feelings that I haven't really had for a long time. Just moments of thinking 'ah I feel happy'. This is despite lots of stresses in my life.
Either I am heading for a nervous breakdown or I really am getting properly better!