Insomnia friends; bye bye 2010 the year of bad sleep, hello 2011 the year of good sleep!

[BeckyBendyLegs]

How about this then everyone?

Getdown I agree with Madmouse, a tiny dose of mirtazapine wont kill you, if it keeps you sane then go for it.

Lelarose Its awful coping on very little sleep during the day, pretty sure everyone here can more than sympathise with your situation. I tend just battle on. LO went through a massive crying phase at about 11 months. She would cry, I would cry there were lots of tears but somehow when I cried I always felt a bit better after. Still love good cry every now and then, it helps to destress.

I feel really good atm. New shift pattern at work means I work 12 hour days 8-8, so dont get to see LO. On the upside I get way more time off so now have 4 days off, parents gone away so house is free and I just got a years worth of owed maintenance from the bastard sperm donor LO Dad so me and her are going to have a fun coupla days... with plenty of sleep hopefully.

Hope everythings ok with everyone else. Really glad I stopped lurking and started posting on here, feels good to chat to others, also makes me feel less nosy

Madmouse your reaction to DS's temp is totally understandable after his recent hospital experience. Please be kind to yourself about that. You went through a lot when he was poorly and your body reacted thinking 'oh no, not again'. Glad he's ok. The problem with winter is that there are so many bugs around. Roll on spring!!

GetDown I thought about you as I fell asleep last night, sending you lots of sleepy vibes and thinking 'I bet she sleeps tonight'. I hope you did use Mr McK though as I find I need a 'top up' every time my sleep goes astray - he does work! He may be a smalmy git but he's a bloody genius too!

I have so much work at the moment I am working like a mad person. I'm going to do half an hour now before getting the DSs up! Ah well, the good thing about being freelance is that I get paid by the hour.

I had a weird dream last night. I dreamt that I sent Susie Dent (my old boss from when I worked full-time a good few years ago, she is on the Countdown dictionary corner) an email by mistake slagging her off! Not that I would have done that in real life of course, she was a great boss. But it was awful! She was really upset!!!!

Hi all

Hope you are all ok. madmouse sorry to hear that DS had a temp again and that it freaked you out. It is totally understandable, but no less horrible for you to have to go through. Hope you are ok. I think kids can get temperatures and be fine quite often because their temperature control is not as well developed as adults. I seem to remember the dr. told us this when DD had her febrile convulsion when she was 18 months old. It sorts itself out as they get older and all their body systems mature.

As for me, I did sleep really really well last night. The little 1/8th mirtazapine did the trick. Asleep on the sofa by 9:30 then went to bed and slept through till 6, dozed till 7. The only thing is, I was freaked out because my temp had dropped today (sometimes a sign of MC approaching), not by loads, but by a bit. This is what happened last time when I had the MC. Also I wasn?t feeling nearly as sick today. Am trying to persuade myself that the lower temp and the reduced sickness it because I slept so well. Really hope so. Interestingly mirtazapine is also used sometimes as an anti-emetic. So maybe that could be why I feel less sick today too? Anyway needless to say I felt very guilty about taking the mirtazapine last night, and a bit panicky and sad But I?ve done another test and it was still positive. Trying not to obsess too much over whether the line is darker or lighter than the other test

Hope you are all doing well, waves to lela how are you doing today? Hello to becky - thanks for thinking of me last night. Also hello to frik - glad to hear you are feeling good at the mo. That?s fantastic.

GetDown stop doing pregnancy tests. You only need to do one and you've done that (I've only ever done one test for each pregnancy). You feel less sick today because you are less tired, I am sure! You had two hours sleep the night before, no wonder you felt more sick yesterday. There's no point panicking though, there is absolutely nothing you can do to affect your pregnancy - and please, please, please don't worry about taking 1/8th (re-read that ONE EIGHTH!!!) of a tablet. I know it is easy to say but please try to relax and go with each day as it comes - your hormones do fluctuate anyway - that is completely normal. I felt sick even after it was too late when I had MCs (ie before I knew something had gone wrong). Sickness levels are not a reliable barometer. Big hug to you anyway as I know you are worried xxx

becky I know you?re right. I just can?t help it because of the MC (and because I?m naturally anxious ). Just need to sit tight. I know that by doing more tests or by checking my temp each morning or by agonising over whether I feel more or less sick on any given day isn?t going to make the pregnancy any more or less viable. There?s nothing I can do. That?s partly my problem, just hate not having control. Also I?ve been told by the peri natal psychiatrist that mirtazapine is ok in pregnancy, so I just need to trust her. (do you know how crazy I am though??? You know how in homeopathy, that smaller and smaller doses are considered more and more potent? I suddenly thought, what if that is the case with mirtazapine too??!)

Just re-read your original post from today (sorry I was in a bit of a blind panic this morning and didn?t read it properly). about your dream, and Susie Dent was your boss???! Wow! I really like her! She seems really nice!

Becky your so lucky to be freelance. So wish I could work like that rather than these crappy shifts.

Getdown try not to worry (difficult I know) I agree with Becky about being less tired has made you less sick. Also try to stop taking your temp each morning it will only worry you. Again, very difficult, I used to obsessivly check my BP everyday and was shocked by some of the readings. The body just naturally fluctuates, especially when pregnant.Try to Cheer up Hun

I was woken at 3 am by DD climbing into my bed and making me promise that her dad wouldnt take her away, she's always like this when she sees him cos its so irregular. Anyway we both fell asleep watching finding nemo and have spent the morning eating boiled egg and soldiers and destroying the kitchen baking. I had forgotten how relaxing it is with just me and her. Makes me feel a little teary cos shes such a miracle and she doesnt realise just how much she helps me.

Thanks frikadela you're right, I will try to cheer up,.

That's so lovely about you and DD snuggling up together and doing baking today. What a lovely mummy you are. How sad that she said about her dad taking her away though. Bless her poor little love.

Hi there. I feel like shit today thanks for asking getdown...but listen you know I had terrible depression/anxiety and insomnia in pregnancy, well I was prescribed chlorpromazine to help me sleep and they swore it was ok in pregnancy- still take half the lowest dose now whilst breastfeeding. I dont know if its ok in first 12 weeks though but just to say I had to take meds when pregnant and I know how hard it is not to worry and beat yourself up for it.

I have to take ds to a hospital appointment tomorrow morning then drive 2 and a half hours on the motorway with him for my mil's funeral so I'm praying for some sleep tonight.

Have lots to do tonight so cant even have an early one- god I hope he settles early so I can get stuff done. I saw my psychologist today- she says try to accept you dont sleep and stop seeing it as this unattainable goal but its just SO frustrating as I know I could deal with everything right now if I got enough sleep. I'm like a completely different person with sleep.

Get down - I had IVF to have my 2 DS. I did 36 (!!!!!) pregnancy tests

Cheers Getdown I wish I hadnt taught her what promise means tho... she has me making promises left right and centre.

lelarose I remember the discussion many years ago about not fighting my insomnia and just accepting it. Felt like punching the psychologist and asking her if she'd ever spent 8 hours lying in bed attempting to sleep.

I know how hard it is to cope on a normal day let alone when you have had a few hours sleep but I bet like me and everyone else on here you have a well rehearsed smile to show the rest of the world that everythings ok.

Have a Massive Hug from me and I hope everything goes ok tomorrow (or should I say today since its 5 in the morning )

Thanks so much frikadela xx. I've also been awake since 5, just going to sneak into shower while ds is still asleep (cue sreams from bedroom).

Hahaha he literally woke up again just as I typed that last sentence!!!! Will just have to bf and type at same time as usual and bang goes my plans to be really organised this morning...

Yes, its funny I've been seeing this psych since just before I had ds, and she's been quite good with my post natal issues. Dp asked if she had any children herself and I said no but I don't necessarily think that means she doesn't know what she's on about (I know a lot of ppl think that about midwives etc.) However, with the insomnia, I really think its one of those things if you've not experienced it first hand you have no idea. Saying "I'm so tired" is like saying you are depressed has become- people say it all the time, so no one takes you seriousy when you are genuinely, horrendously, out of your mind, practicallly tripping with sleep deprivation.

One of the hardest things for me is dp is much better at dealing with lack of sleep than me so he doesn't really get why its such a huge problem for me. His mother has just died anyway so can hardly complain that i'm struggling to with the baby on this little sleep, although psych says I should be honest, its not a good time really.

Take care anyway guys, I'll be back to check in on you all in a few days xx

Morning all

Getdown how are you?

lelarose and frikadela sorry you had bad nights!

After I had my dh and my good friend express concern about my sleeping and tiredness and the link they see with my levels of anxiety I bought some Kalms last night and slept from 12.30 until nearly 7 in one go and I can feel it - a bit drowsy but more rested. Might take them for a week or so.

Good morning all :)

How are you all today? I have been sleeping really well (touching great big huge oak table laptop is on) recently which is fab squared. Perhaps I just had a blip in early January thanks to the memories of this time last year when I was taking zopiclone every night and in the bottom of my own personal proverbial (not sure it is proverbial in the literal sense) well of depression. Life is sooooo much better than it was 12 months ago. It was this time last year that I first started posting on here and met the lovely GetDown and Madmouse and discovered that Arcadia and me had a lot in common in terms of how we were reacting to post-natal life, ie not sleeping!

Madmouse I hope the kalms are helping you. Are they the all day tablets or the sleeping tablets? I took some of the 'three times a day' ones and they did seem to help a bit but I didn't like the doozy feeling I got from them during the day, which is probably what they are supposed to do.

Well, I got up to do a bit of work before getting everyone up but I've completely failed in that aim so back to bed to read for 20 mins I think before the madness ensues.

GetDown I hope you are doing ok xx

becky yay for the sleeping - I hope it's proven to you once again that you can sleep and if you don't it's a blip!

Kalms are the once a night ones that you take an hour before bed - huge and really vile tasting but I just about manage to get them down if I have the water ready when I take them out of the packaging and do not hesitate

I would have had another good night but ds has been a total party animal. I went to shush and tuck him in at 2, I think DH at 3 and at 5 I went to sit on a chair with him and quietly cuddle him warm (he plays above the duvet, howling with laughter ) and calm. It worked as it often does. 5 minutes later it seems my alarm went off. But I don't feel too bad because I've slept in between and not had racing thoughts, guess that is the Kalms.

Have a good day everyone.

Yeah madmouse for the better quality sleep inbetween DS duties!

I'm taking DS3 to a children's centre drop in this morning. I do have tonnes of work to do but feel he needs the chance to socialise and play :) rather than sit on mummy's knee while she tries to do a bit of work :( I can do work while he naps after lunch.

Hi everyone,

Not been on all week, have had one of my particularly bad weeks of sleep, had a about 2 hours per night so am feeling pretty exhausted today and am looking forward to 5pm when I finish work til monday.

Feelingold did you sleep any better?

How is everyone else?

These Kalms tablets seem to be doing miracles for me. Had a tough day at work yesterday, very tired, then had a car physically push me into another lane on the way home (cycling) so ended up in tears. Went to bed early, asleep at 11.30 - two loo breaks, straight back off to sleep both times and woke from ds's chattering at 8.15!

Feel woozy but that will probably clear later.

Am a bit at needing St Johnswort and Kalms (nothing wrong with them, just I'd come so far)- but they help

madmouse It's great you're sleeping much better:) I wouldn't worry about needing Kalms and SJW. Think of them as like using a cushion. You may only need them for a little while.

Sorry to hear you had such an awful bike journey yesterday x

Madmouse yeah for good sleep! St JW and Kalms are so mild - it's so good they are helping you.

I slept soooo well last night . Fell asleep watching Eclipse with DH at 9.15pm. Went to bed, slept until 7.45am. Ho hum. I am happy! I had had a glass of wine with my tea and I find that these days alcohol does one of two things to me: either zonks me out completely or gives me a horrible night of wide-awake brain racing! Sometimes it wires me up, other times it has the opposite effect. So I only ever have one glass (one and a half, tops!) and only on a Fri / Sat nights.

Humpth! DHs! For a joke I updated DH's status to say DH really loves BeckyBendyLegs very much - she is amazing, intelligent, and beautiful! And he's done something so I can't access facebook now. He's so mean.

Becky do I need to send him a message to plead on your behalf?

Haven't been on her in ages but suffereing realy bas again with insomnia. it is 4am at the moment and still havent been to sleep yet.I wondered if anyone has heard of oestrogen dominance causing insomnia? I read somewhere that it can cause problems along with other symptoms.

Hi madmouse no I told him off and he reinstated facebook for me!

Marjie hello. I haven't heard about that but I do think hormones are to blame for a lot.

I couldn't sleep last night until I tried Mr McKenna - I know he's annoying but he really does work! My brain was buzzing with an annoying song going around my head and the last couple of days I've been really tearful. I've just started taking the pill again and I'm on my week off and I've noticed that my tearfulness is terrible. Yesterday I was a nightmare. I cried at everything! I cried when DH didn't like the fork I'd put down for him for lunch - how pathetic is that? I wonder if the pill is to blame (ie being off the pill for a week)? I still feel like it today. I start taking them again on Tuesday and it'll be interesting to see if my emotionalness (is that a word) gets better.

Marjie I've noticed when my period's due, I have more restless nights. I'm sure hormones have a lot to answer for.

Becky poor you:( I hope everything settles down for you soon x