Insomnia friends; bye bye 2010 the year of bad sleep, hello 2011 the year of good sleep!

[BeckyBendyLegs]

How about this then everyone?

Slept ok last night (although I still woke up at exactly the same time in the middle of the night) and feeling much more rational and "normal" today.

Sorry to hear you two had bad nights. Hope you get through today ok xxx

I didn't sleep well last night, late night then buzzy head. I feel tired today and I don't like this feeling, too many bad memories associated with feeling sleep-deprived. Oh well. Onwards and upwards. I must keep smiling.

hello my insomnia friends.

How are we all doing? Last post 23rd July, and here we are in September!

Hope that means we are all sleeping well?

I am 38+3 today. So very near to having this baby now. Have been well generally but just beginning to feel the anxiety kick in again. Last saturday night I had one of the worst nights i've had in a long time. 3 hrs max. And last night was similar. Just really whizzing thoughts, couldn't calm down and broke down in tears at 4am in desperation. Poor old DH had to pick up the pieces yet again.

Feel shattered today. Am scared this will all happen again. I am so near to going through the very thing again which tipped me over into insanity last time.

Getdown you don't sound that close to insane to me. It would be too much to ask for you not to be anxious as you are basically on the conveyer belt towards the big event that made you so ill last time, with limited control over the outcome.

But please remember what we talked about earlier: This is a different pregnancy, you have 50% chance of being ok and if you are not ok you, dh and your psychiatrist will spot the first signs, treatment will start promptly and there will be no messing around with meds that make it worse instead of better like last time.

You will get through this. Am praying for you xx

Hello, I've lurked on this thread before, but this is the first time i've got round to posting (now I have a laptop and home broadband, which I've never had before!).

I've intermittently suffered from insomnia for years, and being a single mum to an 18-month old isn't helping....but my insomnia is usually sparked off by anxiety and depression, which I'm sure is hormonal.

I've always suffered from bad PMT too, which, since DS was born and my periods came back, has seemed to make the insomnia worse. So, I asked the doctor to prescribe me the pill(microgynon) 6 months ago.In the past it really helped with the PMT, but it hasn't this time, and here I am, on the last day of the pill cycle, having slept an average of 5 hours per night for the last 4 nights, and grinding my teeth with anxiety.

I seem to recall people mentioning the pill affecting their sleep upthread- has anyone had any experience of this? And what helped?

The thought of having to face a very active toddler in a few hours feeling like shit is not helping....(I suspect that's one of the factors that's stressing me out, but oh, when I have enough sleep I feel on top of my game and enjoy mothering him, when I haven't it can feel just totally unrelenting...)

GetDown I hope you are feeling a bit better now. As madmouse said it is to be expected that you are feeling a bit anxious coming up to birth day, anyone would be feeling nervous / excited / anxious, and it is to be expected. But as I learnt in CBT just because something happened once, does not mean it will happen again. Lack of sleep always makes you feel more anxious, I know as it does me too. I'm so excited for you, nearly there xx

Hello maledetta welcome! I take microgynon at the moment, and have done for 9 months and I did find it took a few months for my hormones and anxiety to settle but I'd say that generally now I feel much better than I did before I took it, and my sleep is better, but not sure if it related to the pill or whether it is just that I am much better than I was closer to when DS3 was born.

I know that anxiety about looking after small people / person on not enough sleep. But the only way to get over it for me is to accept that I can get through the day and that chances are I might get more sleep the next night, or soon. Take care xxx

Thanks madmouse and becky you are both right, I think it's just last minute nerves. There is nothing more I can do really. Just have to try and relax and go with it. I actually slept a lot better last night and am feeling much more rational and normal today. Hope you are both doing ok.

Hi there maledetta you are so right, it's one thing to deal with insomnia when you've got nothing to do or no one to look after the next day. It's quite another when you've got a demanding toddler to deal with. When I had CBT for my insomnia, the therapist would try and convince me that it didn't really matter if I didn't get to sleep, but I knew it did matter because I had my DD to cope with the next day. Don't know much about the pill and insomnia. I did used to take microgynon and never had a problem with it, but that was before my insomnia started really (pre-DD). I know that some people the pill affects their mood and their sleep really badly.

I have my last CBT session tomorrow. Weird. I feel sad.

Well...the night I posted I slept 2 hours! So felt awful the next day, but it's true that you can just cope. I threw myself into going to the beach, then the allotment with DS and it was pretty much fine...(except that I did shout at him big-style, but then he'd run into the road, so I think it was justified).

And then last night I took diamazepam and slept 10 hours....feel wonderful now!

Thanks for your comments everybody, and GDYWF I'm sending you virtual cake. Lots of it.

getdown hope you are feeling better today. If you can - try and remember that you are in a totally different position this time. IF (and its a big if) anything happens this time - you have all that knowledge behind you - and you also know that you CAN get better.

Its only natural that you should be nervous - I know I would be exactly the same. But you have everything in place.

And we will all be here to do lots of virtual handholding :-)

Eagerly awaiting your news !!!! :-)

I've just come back from my last session. I feel terrible, bereft, like I've lost a friend. I hate endings. It was a very positive session and then it was 'ok, well, this is it then'. Horrible.

Oh becky Sorry you are feeling sad at the end of your CBT. It shows how much you enjoyed it, and valued it. I was really pleased when mine ended (actually I ended it myself!) because I hated talking about myself and delving into uncomfortable subjects! Shows I didn't really get much out of it I think. Do you feel you are free of your balloon phobia now?? Or is it more of an ongoing battle thing? And what about the insomnia?

Thanks kizzie (great to see you again BTW!) I do feel better today thanks. 38+5 today. Had MW this morning - baby is head down but back-to-back so lots of crawling around on hands and knees for me Am slightly pee'd off about it, as have been sitting on my ball and doing all the right things, but obviously still not in right position. Ah well hopefully baby will turn.

Hi again maledetta glad you got 10hrs sleep - WOW! Diazepam is fine every now and then and if it helps you top up your sleep then why not I say. I still have a few, although haven't taken any since being pregnant. You did well to throw yourself into activities after such a bad night. I think that is the only way to beat it. If you mope around the house I find I end up getting even more wound up and anxious. They say sticking to your normal routine as much as possible is a great way to tell your unconscious that you don't actually have a problem with sleep.

GetDown my sleep has been hugely better. It really has helped, and the things you say are just the same as what my therapist said: keep up the routine, you can get through the day, it's just one day, you will sleep when you need to sleep. Although it feels the opposite when you are tired and suffering from sleep deprivation which is awful, somehow saying this all to yourself, or for me anyway, does seem to have some effect and good old Paul McKenna must have helped a lot too. I do listen to him now and then still, sometimes every night for a few days then not again for three weeks.

PS Hi Kizzie how are you doing? It's great to hear from you :)

I spoke too soon, as I always do with sleep, terrible night last night. Didn't get to sleep until gone 2.30am and then awake 6.18am. Blaaaaa. I blame the CBT - ironic as we talked about how much better my sleep was and how I was fine to be let loose on the world again.

Becky relax - you will be fine, it will settle down x

Sorry to hear about your bad night becky. Try and see it as an opportunity to practise your techniques. That was one of my favourite PSTs: "every bad night is another chance for me to learn how to beat it".

It's probably just the adjustment to new routine of going back to school etc. Plus finishing CBT was prob on your mind too.

xxxx

baby Robin Joseph arrived last night at 10:24pm, on his due date! He weighed 7lbs 10oz. Was an amazing experience. Thanks to hypnobirthing, no pain relief, apart from a bit of gas and air at the very end, and delivered him in the water as I had dreamed. Home within 24hrs. What a different experience this time round! He is feeding well and is totally adorable. Am in love!!!

Will post proper birth story when feeling stronger.

Love to all.xxx

GetDown that's lovely news:) Congratulations!

Really pleased it was such a lovely experience for you aswell.

Best wishes xx

GetDown :) I am sooo happy for you and your pics on facebook are lovely. Take it easy and enjoy those lovely first few days - I am feeling broody.

I'm not sleeping well. I need a kick up the backside please someone.

Becky can I give you a hug instead? xx

Getdown I am so so so pleased for you - and that you got such a lovely birth too. Aaaaahhhhh x

Becky i hope the sleep gets back on track really quickly

Thank you madmouse x

Thanks Kizzie. I hope so too. I hope you are ok :)