Insomnia friends; bye bye 2010 the year of bad sleep, hello 2011 the year of good sleep!

[BeckyBendyLegs]

How about this then everyone?

Thanks for all your support everyone.

I've had a good day, got a lot done and had a nice time with DS. Being on my own with him was actually quite nice! Cleaned the house, did the washing, cooked dinner in advance, DH to be was quite shocked! I even got dressed, (when i'm on my own with DS I sometimes just stay in my PJs).

I even went for a walk with DS in the rain, felt quite excited. Maybe this is the start of things getting better? I really hope so.

I've even made plans to go out on Wednesday!

Going to try to keep this positive attitude up!

Hope everyone else is OK.

Thanks get down and madmouse - both really good bits of advice x

Wow 11 weeks already !

Had a really bad day at work. Threatened to walk out if boss gave me anymore work to do. Got flustered as I'm good at prioritising, but everything is priority...

Anyway went to band practice and that was good - friend who takes me said my mood on the way out and back were very different!

Singing and music are such therapy. Hope it will help me sleep.

Hope you did get sleep madmouse (singing and band practice sound like very good therapy .

I slept much better last night after very little sleep the night before.

Hope everyone has a good day

Sorry to hear about your terrible day yesterday madmouse. Is it a particularly busy time of year at work at the moment, or is it like this all the time? Hope you can reach a solution with your boss.

My work is basically the opposite at the moment. Because I finish at the end of March, there?s not really much I?ve got on at the moment and the days are really dragging.

I had a terrible nights sleep The worst I?ve had in ages. DH didn?t come to bed till 1am, and for some reason I couldn?t sleep before then. I think I got a couple of hours but woke up at 3 and stayed awake for the rest of the night. Then DD came into our room at 6 and that was it. Feeling quite tired and cross-patchy today. Amazing how my mood plummets when I?ve had a bad night.

holly you sound like you?re doing brilliantly, maybe those ADs are kicking in already.

Getdown that sounds like a really bad night - hope you get through today ok x

I had a restless night which is a disappointment as I was so chilled when I went to bed. But it's our day off on Tuesdays and so we had a very relaxed start to the day. So I'm ok.

Work is always like this - basically legal aid pays badly so we need to take on many cases to survive, plus the government puts a lot of pressure on Legal Aid providers to perform just so; take on so many cases, do this much work on them, stay within this and this margins or we take money back. Fat cats?? Not us

And because of the position I have in the team (I do part admin/part legal work but I am a very experienced lawyer) I just end up with too many tasks. My boss wants more admin staff but her boss says no.

Think I spoke too soon, feeling really low today .

I think my body has got used to the sleeping pills which is why I was worried about. I had to take 1 and a half and now feel like c**p today but at least i've slept.

I know the ADs will take time to work so i'm trying to stay positive but i'm beginning to feel like there's no end in sight.

Also think i'm now addicted to sleeping pills.

madmouse sorry you had a bad night. DH comes to bed sometimes too which drives me mad.

PSTs to everyone.

sorry meant to say "DH come to bed late too". Sounds like I don't want him in the bed!

Feel even worse today. This is what happened when I had ADs before. I feel really empty, and tired. Just want to go back to bed. Trying to act normal for DS, putting on fake smiles and giggles.

Feel so silly that I can't be happy. I have an amazing life, I should be happy.

Please tell me that these ADs should make me feel worse before I get better. I'm seeing the doctor again on Friday and will tell him how I feel then.

I went to bed at 10pm last night, I was so tired. But I was still awake at 12. I kept nearly falling asleep but then my body kept jerking awake. I took the sleeping pills at 12 and they got me to sleep but I woke at 4am and then couldn't get back to sleep, still I guess thats better than 2:43.

Tried to cancel going out today but my friend knows me too well and wont let me so i'm going out with her for lunch. I'm already getting worked up and anxious.

Maybe I need something to treat anxiety aswell.

Sorry to go on and on about my problems. Just thought writing it down might make me feel better but if anything I just feel a bit more hopeless.

Think I might try some herbal stuff too.

Hi holly - i dont know if this is any help but i have always felt MUCH worse on ads before feeling better.

(This is from when Ive had various withdrawal attempts and have ended up back on them.)

Do talk to your gp about it though.

Also dont take any herbal stuff without checking with your dr first - they can interact with ads.

Hope your day gets better x

Sorry you are feeling so bad holly - I agree with kizzie don't take anything herbal with ADs without checking first - especially St. Johns Wort. I have found that pharmacists are generally more knowledgable in this regard than even the GP.

Yes it's true you often feel worse for a while on ADs before you start feeling better. I think in the early days you are still struggling with the side effects but without the mood boosting effect which comes at least 2 weeks later. Hang in there if you can. It's good you are seeing dr. again on friday.

What you describe about nearly falling asleep and then jerking awake is EXACTLY what I experienced too. Your description of it fits so closely what I went through. You are so so tired, but yet something in your head just won't let you switch off. It's awful. So sorry you are going through this I know how horrible it is. The ADs work on anxiety too, so you may not need something extra for the anxiety.

Don't feel bad about sharing your problems on here, that's what this place is for. We all come on here when we are having a rough time. It helps to know there are people out there who understand. xx

Hi all

Feeling horrible today too - sorry bringing the thread down.

Had a stupid argument with dh that made him very depressed and withdrawn and I ended up with quite bad flashblacks to being child and being totally alone. A friend who was online helped me get through it but my head was physically pounding still when I managed to get to bed and I ended up taking Kalms and then an hour later 2 paracetamol. I did sleep a few hours but woke feeling really bad and with dh still depressed I was very anxious and spaced out (disocciating). Did get through work (too spaced out to get stressed is that good or bad?)- guess I better keep busy this afternoon.

How's everyone else? sorry you're struggling Holly - hope it gets better really soon x

Sorry to hear that madmouse I hate conflict and arguments, and find them hard to deal with, especially with DH.

Did you sort it out with him? I am learning slowly over the years to try and sort it out before bed, even if I am seething, because I don't sleep at all if we've argued.

Hope you can work it out. We have to remind ourselves that occasional disagreements in a relationship are normal and ok - it's how we deal with them that matters.

Well done for getting through work, hope you are ok today and can at least get some enjoyment from the rest of the day (the sun is coming out here even though it's freezing cold).

I am making an apple crumble this afternoon for a group of old ladies who are having lunch at our church tomorrow! What fun!

It's the opposite here Getdown - with DHs depression and his own backgrould an argument can floor him to such an extend that it works better to try and have a hug and go to sleep - save talking for the next day. It took me a while to learn that as my parents would always say you had to make up before bed.

Well a hug is sorting it out, in a way.

I want a hug.

Sorry to hear you're sad too madmouse. Me and DH to be are falling out a lot too.

OK maybe the ADs just need more time to work, i'll try to hang on.

Thank you for all your kind words.

I have a strange thing about sleep which is getting me down quite a bit. If I know that I need to go to sleep for example if I have work the next day, I get quite anxious in the evenings. I get worked up that I must sleep,and then by the time I get into bed I'm often too worked up to sleep. The fear of not getting to sleep becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

I have had this for about 5 years from the night I started a new job and didn't sleep at all that first night. I have been on mat leave for the past year though and I never had this anxiety about sleep. I have recently returned to work and it is starting again and I am more anxious about the sleep than going to work!

Has anyone ever felt the same or overcome this? I suppose you could call it a fear of insomnia, leading to insomnia itself!
Thanks

Hi, sorry to butt in! Just posted the above as a new thread but thought I may be able to squeeze in here??
Thanks

Welcome

I actually clicked on your thread because I used to literally be afraid of going to sleep as I got the worst flashbacks and memories just before falling asleep so I used to postpone bedtime..

What have you tried to do to deal with things?

Hi madmouse. I haven't tried anything really so far because it has only recently started again and I'm not sure what to try. I just hate that I can't just stop worrying about it. It affects what I do in the evening because if I get into bed late I'm much worse because I'm thinking 'I must go to sleep right now' to get a good night sleep. Any suggestions for dealing??

I hope you don't get flashbacks anymore

Hi insomnia friends am having a bad patch
About four nights ago I got disturbed by the neighbours and couldn't sleep and now I've got anxious with noise (lying waiting for it even when none!) and anxious about sleep again.
Had another really restless night waking frequently and funny dreams last night despite being exhausted.
DP is suggesting I try changing bedtime routine and maybe using my ipod. How and when do you use the Paul McKenna, Becky and Getdown? I have it on my ipod.
Any other suggestions?

Hi everyone,

Welcome lizbertnobacon

Have had another bad night. The sleeping pills have stopped working and I have hardly slept. Am now feeling really bad.

I don't understand now the ADs are going to help me sleep when they are just an SSRI that is designed to make me feel good. I knwo if I feel better I might sleep but I think I need one to zonk me out. I think the sleeping pills have made things worse. I am so scared and now have no idea what to do next.

I really hope the GP listens to me tomorrow. I'm so scared that i'll accidently do something stupid and take too many pills because i'm so desperate to sleep. Please don't get me wrong I am not thinking about hurting myself but when i'm lonely and anxious at 2am the sleeping pills are a bit of a temptation just so I can sleep.

I'm going to try Glenn Harrold on my ipod tonight.

Arcadia Paul worked brilliantly for me for 2 days. I just listen to him with head phones in when I went to bed and fell asleep listening to him. Just make sure the head phones can't get wrapped round your neck.

Hi there Lizbertnobacon you are very welcome here Sorry to hear you are suffering. I think once you have some bad nights it's very easy for anxiety to develop surrounding going to bed. It's a hard pattern to break, but it is possible. A lot of the problem is to do with your thoughts (this is all stuff I've had to learn, dealing with my anxiety and insomnia). Your thoughts about sleep tend to be quite negative e.g. "I'll never sleep tonight when I'm feeling like THIS". "I'll never sleep properly again" "What will I do if I can't get to sleep - I won't be able to cope tomorrow and it will be a disaster".

I found these kind of thoughts came very easily and started even quite early on in the day. It is about breaking these negative thought patterns and replacing them with positive sleep thoughts (PSTs) such as "I will get to sleep in the end" "I will be ok tomorrow, there are people who care about me and will support me" "this is just a phase I will get through it". You need to keep a diary and force yourself to write PSTs down. Also distract yourself from thinking about sleep if you can, by going out in the day, doing things you enjoy, winding down in the evening, not going to bed until you feel really sleepy etc.

Keep posting here if you find it helps, many of us have been through what you are going through.

Hi arcadia sorry you are going through a rough time. It's awful anticipating noise. I am like that with DH's snoring - if I start to hear it, I am just waiting for the next one and I can feel my pulse start to rise!!

I don't use paul mckenna every night anymore, but occasionally I still do. I tend to have it on the CD player now, rather than my ipod, as I find the ear phones distract me a bit, and I tend not to go to sleep until I've sorted out taking out the ear phones etc. With the CD I just let it play and not think about it, as it turns itself off after an hour or so. I used the CD the other night and only got as far as the bit where you start counting backwards before I fell asleep, I do find it works, but I have to be relaxed before I actually get into bed.

Hi holly sorry you are struggling still. The ADs should actually get at the cause of your insomnia - ie. the depression and anxiety. Although it does take a while to work.

I think you need a break from the sleeping pills TBH - if they are not making you sleep any more anyway then you need to stop them. You could ask GP for something else - e.g. diazepam to help you relax in the evenings instead, but he prob won't give you too many of those.

You're so right about the sleeping pills getdown. I am going to stop taking them.

Although i'm really really tired i'm actually feeling a little bit better today. I've been trying not to dwell on things and haven't spent ages looking up insomnia or depression on the internet like I have been doing the past few days, (and getting myself even more wound up!). I've also lost 3lbs in weight which has made me feel a bit better.

Whilst DS has been napping i've been chilling out reading a book, (normally I do chores) and for the first time in ages I have actually been drifting off to sleep. I'm not going to nap during the day but its amazing to feel that really sleepy sensation again. I'm hoping i'll be able to feel it tonight.

I'm really hoping that things are slowly getting better.