Is 4 kids too many?

[Mumsie2024]

Hi, would like to know your thoughts?
is 4 kids a step too far? Currently have 3 kids and thinking I’d like a 4th but not sure if it’s hormones!
What's the verdict?

The poor thing would probably be a disappointment. And if it was a girl, the three boys wouldn’t get a look in. Not an ideal scenario.

@Onlyonekenobe this is very helpful.

@TagSplashMaverick @CatrionaBalfour you have totally missed my point and only picked out part of my paragraph I see.
of course, I’d be thrilled it was a boy, I love all my children. What a stupid comment to make, I hope you both aren’t parents yourselves with that negative attitude. .

What a nasty comment.
You've no idea what our parental situation is. How offensive.
Well.
Good luck adding to your brood.

@Mumsie2024 There is 2 years 5 months between 1 and 2 and then same between 2 and 3 and then 2 years 3 months between the last two. The oldest 3 all play together now and they love trying to make the baby laugh now .

I always wanted 4 until I had 3 and then that was enough for me! But if you have the space, money, the children's father is on board and you feel like you could cope, go for it!

O know a couple of people with 4 who said going from 3 to 4 was the easiest because it was already chaos 😁

I have four, within 6 years. Been a single parent for all the teenage years and some time before. All well rounded young adults now with a lot to offer the world.

I haven't spread myself thinly, they have strong relationships amongst themselves - it's a joy to see and I'm incredibly proud of them. As they get older their relationships grow more significant. I just have to be on hand. Boyfriends and girlfriends are added to the mix.

I work full time, have done all the parents meetings, football matches, dance shows, exams, uni tours etc and still manage my relationship, friendships and down time.

It's logistically and physically hard work when they are little, emotionally hard work when they get older. Now they often look to each other first.

I wouldn't change a thing.

To be honest, I find the dogs tip the balance more than the children.

How wonderful! I do think close gaps are lovely as they are more likely to have similar interests. How lovely to see that bond between them all.

"I hope you both aren’t parents yourselves with that negative attitude.". That sentence went too far. You are questioning how good a parent she is because she disagrees with you

Haha yes this is my thinking. My house is already wonderful chaos!

It wasn’t a disagreement, it was an original nasty comment. So do you think it’s nice saying to a parent that the child would be a disappointment for them based on the gender it would be?

For God sake.. I could say so much but I won't.

I think only you can decide this it's your choice :)

Absolutely. Let’s finish the thread on that! 😃

It would be too many for me eg I’ve only got two but they’re both at university at the moment and it’s expensive!

Ops 3rd DC is only 5 months old. At that age they're (usually) reasonably portable and can slot in easier.

We debated having a 3rd for ages. My 2 used to do judo, one class after another so we were there from 2pm-4pm (too far to go home whilst 1 was doing it). I remember thinking that this would be doable with a babe in arms but an absolute nightmare with a toddler.

I'm one of four and love having three siblings. I could only have one and it's a huge sadness to me that my child has no brothers or sisters. If you can afford it, go for it! Big families are great. There's plenty of love to go round.

That isn’t unique to larger families though. Nobody has a say in how many siblings they have or the life choices their parents make which affect them hugely!

Consider whether you would still want to do it as a single parent. If you decide to go ahead, make sure you have very good life insurance on BOTH your lives.

Gosh, I'd be surprised if the op had three without good insurance on both parents - I know DH and I do.

Yes, I hope so, but it's worth pointing out.

Last sentence was spiteful and unnecessary.

Nowhere did you say you would be thrilled with a boy.

On the contrary, what you did say is "I have 3 wonderful boys and while I know you can’t plan it, the opportunity to have a girl would be amazing. I would love to see my boys growing up with a younger sister to protect."

You are backtracking and being offensive whilst doing it.

Read the rest of my post rather than quoting one sentence out of context.