Do you judge people on how they voted?

[Rock4please]

Just that really. I used to have an open mind on meeting somebody new but, if I discover that they voted leave, I am not interested in furthering the relationship. Similarly, with Americans, I don’t want to associate with anyone who supports Trump.

Am I being unfair and narrow minded or do you judge new people in a similar way?

I judge. But then I'm a British migrant. I've been married for 20 years and the only time I've ever seen my husband cry was due to the stress of brexit and the devastation it could unleash on us. 3 years on and we still don't know if he'll lose his job, our home and the lives we've built for ourselves here. Why would I want to give the time of day to anyone who voted to put my family through this?

They do have one strong argument, in my view, the only one - and that is that they thought they were being given a choice, that they exercised their choice and that their choice has been disrespected. Hence the repeated responses of 'We won, you lost. Get over it'.

Actually i find it really sad that people cant see beyond the politics.

DPs are hardline leavers. Members of UKIP and then the brexit party. You really dont want to get them onto the subject of politics.

Some people might only see that...

They are also one of the most successful caring power couples i know. There the ones you want on your side when shit goes wrong. They'd be the ones paying the solicitor and offering emotional support. They maintain contact with extended family and have taken care financially emotionally and legally of extended family members who have found themselves on they're own. The also didnt kick out a tenant who nearly burnt their rental property down and despite, leaving the place in a real state, didnt take her deposit (which didnt even begin to cover the 8 weeks of repairs) because shed been in there a long time so fair enough.

If you dont share their core values, i wonder what values you do hold.

Definitely!! I see people that could leave differently because I can't fathom their thinking.

@VolcanionSteamArtillery you could have described my parents.

Except that care and support spreads beyond immediate family and a tenant. They think that everyone deserves to feel that kind of support. Hence why they voted remain and left.

I'm barely speaking to half my family because of it. Brexit seems to have given them free rein to be as racist as they like, they were never this bad before. Because most people I know who voted Leave did so for nothing other than racist reasons, this does make me assume the worst of new people I meet who voted Leave. I know this is unfair though and really do try not to let it colour my judgement. I do also know some lovely Leave voters who aren't at all racist.

Even the lovely Leave voters though have been incredibly reckless with the peace in NI. That is difficult to forgive.

A Leave voting friend has cut me out of her life. She posted that fake Treaty of Rome (?) thing on FB, I pointed out it was fake with a link proving this and asked her to please be careful not to post fake news. She took exception to this and blocked me.

If you dont share their core values, i wonder what values you do hold.

One of my core values is to never choose the option that plunges 4.5 million people into a legal limbo, at risk of losing their homes, jobs and security. I think very poorly of anyone who would, even if their friends and family think they're solid.

No.
I would also not be interested in "furthering the relationship" with someone who did not respect indivduals' vitally important democratic right to a free vote.

Why do you think your opinion is more important than democracy?

I have 2 friends who voted leave.
One is in her late 70s and is clearly harking back to a long gone era. She is also extremely rich and immune to current austerity/cuts etc. She is a lifelong friend and I have decided to just not discuss it.
The other is someone who has been loyal and kind to me through difficult times. She now realises she had no idea what she was voting for and didn't really think, and was completely taken in by the propaganda. She too is somewhat isolated from the real world, comfortably off, no need to have a job, in good health etc.

No because I'm not a dick....

But in all seriousness, if you judge someone purely on their voting habits, without listening or trying to understand their reasons, then you're making some huge assumptions. People voted leave for a wide variety of reasons. Not all leave voters are stupid/racist/working class etc. and I'm not stupid enough to assume that's the case.

Lindy2, vote leave broke the campaign rules, they admit this freely. I don’t call that a free or fair vote. It was also an advisory referendum, I can still be of the opinion that we shouldn’t do it and I’d be democratically correct.

I don't remember any remain voters sticking up for people from Turkey in the referendum. Whenever Turkey joining the EU was mentioned, remain voters were jumping up and down waving their veto around, proclaiming, "They can't come in - we can block them joining the EU." Seems hypocritical to me.

odd post there Clavinova - I recall sane Remainers simply combating the myths generally, created by Farage and your other friends.

Turkish membership is controversial and the veto was raised as a safeguard - to combat the leavers looney tunes.

What the fuck does Turkey have to do with it?

Turkey joining the EU and 80 million Turks coming to the UK, and there being nothing we could do about it, was one of the key lies of the Leave campaign. Some polling afterwards (I'll try to find the link) said that this and the NHS lie is what won the referendum for Leave.

"Squirrel!!!"

On the surface I am very cordial and not at all judgemental about people's decision to vote leave, but often in my head I'm thinking you're a bloody idiot.

The ones I feel especially judgemental of (in my head of course whilst being lovely on the surface) are the ones who thought leaving would be straightforward and didn't even bother to think through all of possible consequences.

Thinking rationally I do understand it especially for those who are less educated, have been left behind by globalisation and impacted by austerity.

However, most people I know who voted leave do not fit into category and are in fact very affluent and generally their reasons for voting leave were quite selfish, ignorant and a xenophobic and even a straight up racist. They all thought leavening would be very straightforward and didn't give a thought to how it would impact people's lives including EU migrants currently in the UK or UK migrants in the EU.

Ultimately there should never have been a referendum on something so complex which is very difficult for anyone to get their head around.

Something I have noticed though is that a fair few of these people now regret their vote it or seem less enthusiastic about it!

Wow, shocked at the pure self righteousness justified as being reasonable here.

BOTH sides lied and continue to this day spinning those lies.

The MEDIA has spun that all leaves are racist, the ones I know are far from it.

My FRIENDS are entitled to their own educated opinion and it is as valid as mine as I respect them.

The reason we have the voting system we do is so that people can reasonably have a difference of opinion, without these rights the entire political and judicial system would be brought in to disrepute. We would have an autocracy, or dictatorship and then life really would insufferable for the majority.

It has been a systematic failing of politicians, since the days of Tony Blair, to provide hard clear facts, upon which voters can make informed well rounded decisions. The system is now so corrupt, it is worthless. Yet you blame the leaves values.

I am pretty disgusted with the arrogance of this thread. Ignorance I can forgive freely but such misplaced arrogance has no place in a truly democratic society.

As for Trump. Hate the man, but what choice were they left with. How does it happen that Clinton and Trump were the only options? Well, we will soon find out when we only have Boris and Corbyn to choose from.

I exercised my right to abstain at the last general election and feel that I may need to do so again. The politicians have a duty to put forward decent representatives, not characters from Rainbow.

In fairness you cannot assess the no deal position as being a result of Brexit leavers, the country left A REMAINER IN CHARGE TO NEGOTIATE IT. RIDICULOUS.

What the fuck does Turkey have to do with it?
Quite a few posters have mentioned racism on this thread - but they don't want Turkey to join the EU.

Why don't you like people from Turkey MrPan? We have control of our borders now - apparently.

I definitely judge. Fortunately all my friends and close family are intelligent and not paid Russian bots so I don't have to deal with idiots people who voted to destroy my country much in my relationships.

Two distant relatives and one friend of a friend voted to leave. I kindly and gently asked them for their reasons (I really did want to understand), and it turns out that they are racist/xenophobic. Fortunately, I don't have to have much to do with them.

You're being obtuse and vexatious Clavinova. I enjoy many aspects of Turkish culture and the Med coast climate, as well as the Graeco/Roman historical sights and some of the food.

Chickenyhead the most sensible post on this thread. Well said.

It would make no difference to me how someone voted, it's a matter of conscience and it's private.
My DH voted leave, I voted remain. The idea of falling out with him or anyone else on their vote is completely alien to me.

He would prefer to leave with a deal but would accept no deal. I'm not particularly bothered either way now, being honest.

What the fuck does Turkey have to do with it?

Get with the program bellini - Turkey is the "heads Leave wins, tails Remain loses" false argument trump card.

Start by falsely claiming that Turkey is joining the EU imminently, and that the UK is therefore about to be overrun with millions of Muslim Turks (Project Fear ) and that this is unstoppable and inevitable.

If you ignore this scaremongering dog-whistle many-levelled lie, then the falsehood is allowed to stand uncontested - woohoo, fodder for Leavers who are xenophobic and Leavers who are happy to exploit xenophobic feelings to get their Sunlit Tax Haven.

If, on the other hand, you point out all the ways it is not true, i.e. Turkey aren't going to join the EU because they are nowhere near fulfilling the requirements and members have a veto anyway - woohoo, see how racist and hypocritical Remainers are -> fodder for Leavers who want to pretend they're not xenophobes whilst not caring what or whom they exploit to get their Sunlit Tax Haven.

MrPan
I enjoy many aspects of Turkish culture and the Med coast climate, as well as the Graeco/Roman historical sights and some of the food.

I could say the same about France and Italy - but why don't you want Turkey to join the EU in the future?