Do you judge people on how they voted?

[Rock4please]

Just that really. I used to have an open mind on meeting somebody new but, if I discover that they voted leave, I am not interested in furthering the relationship. Similarly, with Americans, I don’t want to associate with anyone who supports Trump.

Am I being unfair and narrow minded or do you judge new people in a similar way?

[Janista]

Tories and Labour want the same outcomes, they just disagree on the way of getting there.

But that doesn't fit the "Tories want us all in poverty and love eating babies" narrative,

It's extremely narrow minded not to want to debate with and have friends or relationships of differing - often radically different - political views.

I suppose some like the comfort of being sat around with people agreeing with each other. Makes them feel they are in the right.

The "I could never be friends with a Tory/Labour supporter type posters sound very immature and not that bright tbh.

[MustardScreams]

It’s not sad. What would we talk about?! I despise tories and what they do to the poorest of this country. I couldn’t willingly be in a relationship with someone that held those views. Like I wouldn’t date a massive sexist twat, or someone that had abused a past wife/girlfriend. It’s called having standards. And Tories absolutely do not meet my standards.

[DippyAvocado]

I do make certain assumptions, yes. However, I have also made assumptions in the past about which way people voted which were wrong, so I try to give people the benefit of the doubt. I absolutely judge people who say they want a no-deal Brexit though.

[IWannaSeeHowItEnds]

People are actually cutting off their own grandparents for voting differently?
And yet leavers are criticised for being bad people!

[Alienspaceship]

Yes, how people voted reflects their core values. I can’t ever imagine being friends with anyone who voted the opposite to me - and I mean ever. I know others who feel the same. This is going to divide the country for the lifetime of our generation.

[Cloudtree]

I'm afraid so. I don't judge people on their general political views but I do judge those who voted to leave. I went to a business run from home a few weeks ago and they had a political poster up in the window supporting leave. I wouldn't buy from them again and have found an alternative supplier.

I think lots of people have changed their political party allegiances anyway. I have always voted conservative but would struggle to do so at the moment now they've moved to the hard right. I couldn't vote labour since they're currently hard left. I would have to vote lib dem but then I also have concerns about some of their policies.

[Asdf12345]

Brexit voting either way doesn’t put me off, if someone was a hardline Corbyn supporter it would though.

That said I voted leave, think trump is great, and am a Tory.

[bellinisurge]

Yes. If they are up for compromise, great. If they have lurched over to No Deal, they can fuck off.

[MustardScreams]

Think Trump is great. Dear god. Now that is terrifying. Do you not give a shit about people at all?

[AlexaShutUp]

I find it's mostly people on the left who are prone to this behaviour.

I think this is probably true. People who are left leaning tend to have value-driven politics based on their beliefs about right and wrong, so I guess it's inevitable that they think it would be difficult to maintain a
close friendships with people who do not share their value systems. On the other hand, many on the right tend to be more motivated by self interest/what they think will be best for them personally, so they are unable to understand why anyone would judge them for that as they assume that everyone else does the same thing.

Of course, there are some ideological right wingers who are very much driven by their value systems, but they are less common in my experience. Nonetheless, I imagine that they would find it very hard to be friends with those on the left because their value systems would collide. There are also plenty of people who vote for left wing parties out of their own self interest. I doubt that they much care how their friends vote.

In short, I think it boils down to whether you vote on the basis of values or personal interest. If the former, then of course, it has the potential to affect relationships. If the latter, perhaps that's less likely.

[LatteLove]

Yes sometimes I do. I wouldn’t be friends with anyone who voted BNP/Brexit/UKIP because these people must just share fundamentally different values to me and not the kind of people I would want to associate with.

I think you'd need to understand their reasons for voting leave, they may have very valid ones.

If only leavers would tell us as opposed to saying “I’m not telling because you only want to have a go!”. As it is, given I’ve not come across any “valid” reasons for voting leave in the past 3 years, I won’t hold my breath.

[PanGalaticGargleBlaster]

What would we talk about?!

That film you saw last week, the new bar on the high Street, that promotion at work, the kids sports day, the new shed you have bought, the sale on at Debenhams, the weather?

[WhentheRabbitsWentWild]

Nope

[JenniR29]

It’s not narrow minded Janista, more that I do not wish to associate myself with the rising tide of fascism that has started with Brexit and Trump.

I understand how people could have been convinced by these two things at the start when it was all an unknown entity but now we know that there is no form of Brexit that won’t be detrimental to the economy and we know that Trump is a bigot.

I don’t want to be friends with people who hold such vile opinions, I know they won’t change their mind anymore than I will. I know not all the leave voters did it for immigration related reasons but I do associate the pro-leave cause with intolerance, you only have to look at its high profile supporters to know that.

[astressedoutmum101]

@IWannaSeeHowItEnds it's more the behaviour behind it. Comments about anyone who isn't white/British coming into the country, stealing jobs etc. Reclaiming our country, getting the country be back to what it used to. Not sure what else I'd do when that behaviour is openly discussed in front of my two black/Portuguese children and husband?

[BeardedMum]

I know one leaver (family member) who changed his mind the minute the result was announced because his had been a protest vote. I am not clear what he was protesting about and not is he. I think he is generally quite thick.

I also have a leaver friend who is racist and though I have known her for many years, I am finding her political Daily mail views hard to stomach and I am distancing myself from her. I guess she is also a Trump fan.

So yes I judge but it would depend on the reason for the leave vote for me.

[MustardScreams]

@PanGalaticGargleBlaster what a dull, boring relationship that would be. So my life would become talking about the high street and the weather so as not to piss someone of with my political views? Thankfully I am not that much of a sap.

[LatteLove]

People are actually cutting off their own grandparents for voting differently?
And yet leavers are criticised for being bad people

Thankfully my parents and grandfather voted remain but while I must admit I wouldn’t have cut them off I’d have found it very difficult knowing that they didn’t give a fuck about their grandchildren’s future and voted to fuck them over, given let’s face it, the consequences of the decision to leave are going to have minimal, if any impact on most older voters.

[Quellium]

Both myself and my partner have said part of us will never forgive our parents for voting Leave (too many foreigners / hoovers not powerful enough ) and depriving our children of the benefits and stable (ish) economy they have enjoyed.

It's revealed horrible things about a lot of people for us. It has really opened our eyes.

[frozendaisy]

I know a couple of Mums (and other people) who voted leave and without stating anything too confrontationally they know we voted remain. Do I judge them? Not really the Leave campaign was slick eh, lies perhaps yes, but very convincing.

If anything comes up I do make my point of view clear in "don't look at me I didn't vote for this mess but this is what we want to do as a country apparently" so no I think we have to move on from blaming each other but I refuse to let leave voters blame anything on remain voters and I make sure that I indicate that leave voters need to own this, this is their decision not remain voters fault.

If they don't like that well then it all brakes down but I think that is the middle ground to all get along.

[JenniR29]

It’s hard when it comes to family, most of mine voted leave but the only one who is still vocal about it is my grandmother (who if I’m being honest has always held racist opinions). I think they quietly regret it and we just don’t talk about it.

I don’t love them any less but I think if a no deal Brexit directly impacts my family then I’ll honestly have trouble communicating with them in future.

[PanGalaticGargleBlaster]

MustardScreams

Well done for spectacularly missing the point. Talk about your shared interest in Mongolian Wood carvings for all I care but you must be hard work if the only thing you want to talk about every time you meet someone is politics. I tend to base my friendships on a raft of other attributes and not just someone's voting record.

[MustardScreams]

@PanGalaticGargleBlaster oh don’t be so bloody patronising. Politics affects every single aspect of life. It is not the only thing I talk about, but I’m also not going to soften my views, or not talk about it to appease someone else. I love a good debate, I work with many Tories and leavers that I have a good relationship with, however I’m not going to put aside my views in personal relationships for the sake of it.

[Danetobe]

Pangalactic- I could sustain polite, warm and pleasant small talk with a beleaver no problem around the topics you list. I couldn't talk about meaningful things with a beleaver because my life has been turned over with this Brexit shite and the topic cannot be avoided. I would struggle to enjoy conversation with someone who tried to spin these things as a positive thing.

[chickensandbees]

I do and I'm shocked how much I do. This is such a black and white issue unlike normal politics so whilst I have got on with people of different political allegiances in the past I do judge people negatively if they voted Leave, even within my own family.

I have lost respect for them considerably, I will still be friends with people but I do judge them. With new people if I knew they voted Leave I probably wouldn't choose to associate with them.