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Brexit

Westminstenders: Spitting Image Reimagined

960 replies

RedToothBrush · 12/02/2019 16:45

In a parallel universe Spitting Image never left our screens.

Theresa is a zombie who the other Tories can not not kill no matter how many times they try. Attempts to try and bump her off make up a regular weekly slot.

Spreadsheet Phil is a bit like John Major; grey and dull. But Spreadsheet Phil has something else. A giant magic calculator he spends the entire time adding up the cost of Brexit, until his fingers start giving off smoke from the speed.

The Saj. The Saj is gonna fix it. The Saj makes a point of trying to be more xenophobic than every other member of the Cabinet at meetings until everyone looks at him ranting incoherently about an orchestraed army of illegals invading on board a flottilla of inflatable kayaks.

Jeremy, now has a union jack lapel badge where his NHS one once was placed. Jeremy is a suck up. No matter what the subject, he's the one on the button with party sentiment. He flip flops depending on what the latest hot topic of Conservative Home is. He spends a lot of time checking the website for inspiration. He's usually also about two inches away from May's arse.

Stephen is a stuffed teddy bear, devoid of personality. He just gets passed around and sat in the right chair at EU meetings and doesn't speak or do much whilst wearing his rapidly fading Vote Leave Tshirt.

Gavin generally sits in the corner playing with his toy soliders and the unlucky soul he's forced to play with him today. They always look petrified and as if they have been taken hostage.

David sit with his head perpetually in his hands. He's forever cleaning up the mess that Chris has made in the office.

Matt, has an app on his phone that he constantly plays with. He now wears Jeremy's old lapel badge. He is currently trying to order body bags and insulin and not look incredibly worried. He would like a bus, but no one will give him one.

No one can remember who on earth Damian even is. They keep asking his name and job title. Its like his entire department has fallen down the crack at the back of the sofa.

Dr Liam, just bores the tits off everyone showing them his latest holiday snaps of some far flung African country no one can find on the map.

Greg. Poor Greg. He offers the Japanese a cracking deal. Then Theresa blew it. Generally speaking his job is purely to ring around businesses shouting 'ITS ALL GOING TO BE FINE. REALLY IT IS. HONEST. I PROMISE YOU'. With ever decreasing panic and sense of terror with each new call.

Michael, like Jeremy tries to stand as close to Theresa as physically possible. He's weasel looking with his hand constantly behind his back concealing a knife.

Chris sits plays with a lighter and a naked fuel or some other lethal combination, looking at it with wonder about what might happen if they touch. Everyone tends to try and sit as far away from Chris as possible as usually there is a disaster close at hand.

Amber, after having got another job after being sacked to save May resigning from the Home Office, spends the entire time threatening to resign again. Everyone ignores her, because they know she'll never do it. She's just background noise.

Andrea just fetches the home made jam, tea and biscuits and looks confused most of the time.

The potrait of Maggie on the wall, just looks on with a new expression of horror each episode.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
35
HazardGhost · 13/02/2019 20:30

Okay...name changed and created a MN special email.... if any of you work out my name is Bob Smith then I'll be devastated Grin

67 surely a lemon drizzle cake name would suit you?

mother signed and shared with remainers...wasnt up for agitating the leavers tonight Wink

SparklySneakers · 13/02/2019 20:30

I've deleted all my inbox messages too. Have contacted HQ again.

SparklySneakers · 13/02/2019 20:31

Signed and shared too Smile

67chevvyimpala · 13/02/2019 20:31

Damn! What a missed opportunity 😁

SparklySneakers · 13/02/2019 20:36

Are the socks not on shift tonight?

Fakeplasticcheese · 13/02/2019 20:38

Signed the petition.

Littlespaces · 13/02/2019 20:41

signed and shared.

petition.parliament.uk/petitions/239706

HazardGhost · 13/02/2019 20:42

Think they might have got bannned sparkly lots of deletions...

lonelyplanetmum · 13/02/2019 20:47

Signed that petition.. it's visibly growing quickly.

SparklySneakers · 13/02/2019 20:48

HazardGhost I wonder if they were all the sane poster then? Looks that way.
I was asleep early last night and then awake just after midnight for a couple of hours with a sore throat and everything rattling round inside my head. I've been so tired this week as ds has given me yet another virus from nursery. I can't win whatever time I go to bed: early and I'm awake for 2-3 hours after midnight; late and I've had less sleep than I need. Knackered whichever way. Bloody brexit insomnia. Half term as of tomorrow so the break from the school run will be nice.

RedToothBrush · 13/02/2019 20:49

Fiona Oleary @
This is dynamite from Bill Browder to the Foreign Affairs SC today (13/2/2019).

He is blunt in suggesting the Government is lying about the reason there are no Magnitsky sanctions re Russian interference/ money here is the U.K.

Linky to parliament TV clip

2/. What reason did the Government give?

“We cannot whilst we are in the EU”.

Browder pointed out that Lithuania (70 sanctions) Estonia and Latvia (49 sanctions are all in the EU and have successfully imposed sanctions.

3/. He also takes a swipe at people connected to the Government exerting inflipuence to prevent sanctions.

Whilst he was prevented from naming most of them he went public with Lord Barker as it is public already. He is chair of a Russian Company EN+ .

4/. This company was substantially owned by (close to Putin). Deripaska.

He /EN+was sanctioned by the USA due to Russian involvement in SKRIPAL, Russian alignment with Syria and meddling in the USA elections

Barker has been very active in having those sanctions lifted.

5/. Browder makes no bones about it that he finds it absolutely extraordinary that anlaw maker in the House of Lords is allowed to accept money from a Russian Company and exert influence over sanctions whether in the USA or here.

6/. It is even more extraordinary when one considers that Skripal were U.K. based and the attack on them by Russia (from which one U.K. citizen person has died) was on U.K. soil.

Here is a bit more about the Barker story since when sanctions were lifted

<a class="break-all" href="https://amp.theguardian.com/politics/2018/oct/30/tory-peer-declines-to-give-public-evidence-to-mps-over-russian-firm#click=t.co/0tJ4x7OQVy" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">amp.theguardian.com/politics/2018/oct/30/tory-peer-declines-to-give-public-evidence-to-mps-over-russian-firm#click=t.co/0tJ4x7OQVy
Tory peer declines to give public evidence to MPs over Russian firm
Lord Barker, who chairs Russian metals group EN+, cites commercial issues as he fights to lift US sanctions

7/. Whilst we do not know for sure who else in political life he has named as taking money from the Russians here is a thread from @batanball reminding us of at least some who have been connected.

Then, of course there’s Banks, Wigmore, Farage

linky to a twitter thread which is... Yes just read it. Not pretty

^8/. If you do nothing else in the next day, find time to listen to at least the first 15mins of this @CommonsForeign Bill Browder hearing today.
@brexit_sham @carolecadwalla @peterjukes @BenPBradshaw @AdamRamsay^

He pulls no punches.

9/. A Postscript that rather illustrates why it really matters that the people in our political life are fully transparent about their sources of money AND connections...and why they really should not take that money.

tweet by ex-army Tory MP Tom Tugendhat which has a clip of Browder today

OP posts:
Jericho1 · 13/02/2019 20:53

"Mr Browder and the Strange Case of Lord Barker and the Russian Company EN+"

twitter.com/fascinatorfun/status/1095767505237405697

Thank you for posting that petition mother and thank you to women for signing it.

Jericho1 · 13/02/2019 21:00

cross post/red. Thank you red, off to watch it now.
“We cannot whilst we are in the EU”.
Well, well, well......

67chevvyimpala · 13/02/2019 21:04

Me too sparkly

I'm so tired

MaudBaileysGreenTurban · 13/02/2019 21:10

PMK.

HazardGhost · 13/02/2019 21:11

Ditto to the tired...I'm upright due to a combination of gin, coffee and snacks. Accidentally had a g&t before noon the other day it was a one off forgot to check the time

Anyone link to the we're out of time to prepare articles?

www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/brexit-no-deal-planning-emergency-supplies-seaborne-freight-chris-grayling-a8777766.html

I couldn't read it because I can't cope with any more dumb this week....

BigChocFrenzy · 13/02/2019 21:15

Steven Swinford@Steven_Swinford

Keir Starmer does not deny that Jeremy Corbyn’s office removed reference to a second referendum from the letter he sent to Theresa May.

I’m not going into the ins and outs of the drafting of the letter’
Hmm

BigChocFrenzy · 13/02/2019 21:20

Labour’s general secretary has warned MPs that public criticism of the way antisemitism allegations have been handled is “distressing” for party staff Hmm

www.thetimes.co.uk/article/3282c264-2f14-11e9-b50c-c6da8f614c54

Jennie Formby, a key ally of Jeremy Corbyn, said that the party had received nearly 700 complaints linked to antisemitic abuse by party members since April last year and had expelled 12 people.

Dame Margaret Hodge, the MP for Barking, disputed this, saying that she alone had made complaints about 200 members.
Ms Formby said this was not correct, claiming that Dame Margaret’s complaints related to 111 individuals, 20 of whom were Labour members.

She said: “The constant and often public criticism of our dedicated and talented staff team is unacceptable and is causing them considerable distress.” Hmm
< I expect the victims of anti-semitism were "considerably distressed" too >

Jericho1 · 13/02/2019 21:27

Yikes. That Browder clip. I don't like much TV fiction, but it's like a thriller script.

BigChocFrenzy · 13/02/2019 21:27

John Rentoul@JohnRentoul

5 amendments tabled so far; the most interesting being Kenneth Clarke's (preferential ballot of MPs on options) and Roger Godsiff's (3-option referendum)

SusanWalker · 13/02/2019 21:30

Nina Schick
@NinaDSchick
Wait till we get into talks with China and America..... 🇺🇸 🇨🇳
Quote Tweet
UK in a Changing EU
@UKandEU
83% Conservative voters and 84% Leavers think that the EU has been harsh during the #Brexit negotiations, new survey finds @drsarahwolff @ProfTimBale @jsajuria @CER_QMUL

(link: ukandeu.ac.uk/british-public-thinks-the-eu-has-been-harsh-in-negotiations/) ukandeu.ac.uk/british-public…
Image

PestyMachtubernahme · 13/02/2019 21:32

"All self-respecting Russian kleptocrats have a house in London."

We don't investigate them because, we like the money.

BigChocFrenzy · 13/02/2019 21:32

Strangely few Brit expats choose Switzerland, but after No Deal there will be fewer.
It does close that off as a possible alternative for others

Matthew Holehouse@mattholehouse

Swiss end free movement, cap UK work permit quota at 3,500, in event of no-deal exit.
....
Peter Foster Retweeted Pawel Swidlicki@pswidlicki

Found the actual data: 4,119 UK nationals migrated to Switzerland in 2017.

Westminstenders: Spitting Image Reimagined
lonelyplanetmum · 13/02/2019 22:08

This insight into meetings in Brussels...I'm just copying and pasting but is this:

Just running down the clock?

Barnier, has said current talks with the UK do not even qualify as negotiations. In a call on Tuesday morning with Guy Verhofstadt, chief Brexit representative for the European parliament, Barnier said there were “no negotiations” with the British.
“These are courtesy calls at best and we have nothing new to say,” Barnier was reported to have said, by a source familiar with the conversation.

They are pretending to negotiate while they still don’t know what they want and how they want it,” the source said, who described this week’s meetings as “kicking up dust” and a series of “photo opportunities and pictures”. “We are willing to negotiate, but there is nothing on the table from the British side.”
Verhofstadt asked Lidington four times what the British proposal was and “four times didn’t get an answer”, according to the EU official, who described the encounter as “very surreal”.

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2019/feb/13/kicking-up-dust-little-sign-of-progress-in-uk-eu-talks?CMP=twt_gu

PestyMachtubernahme · 13/02/2019 22:21

Ouch, Browder and the committee agreed me are a Potemkin regime.