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Brexit

Westminstenders: Spitting Image Reimagined

960 replies

RedToothBrush · 12/02/2019 16:45

In a parallel universe Spitting Image never left our screens.

Theresa is a zombie who the other Tories can not not kill no matter how many times they try. Attempts to try and bump her off make up a regular weekly slot.

Spreadsheet Phil is a bit like John Major; grey and dull. But Spreadsheet Phil has something else. A giant magic calculator he spends the entire time adding up the cost of Brexit, until his fingers start giving off smoke from the speed.

The Saj. The Saj is gonna fix it. The Saj makes a point of trying to be more xenophobic than every other member of the Cabinet at meetings until everyone looks at him ranting incoherently about an orchestraed army of illegals invading on board a flottilla of inflatable kayaks.

Jeremy, now has a union jack lapel badge where his NHS one once was placed. Jeremy is a suck up. No matter what the subject, he's the one on the button with party sentiment. He flip flops depending on what the latest hot topic of Conservative Home is. He spends a lot of time checking the website for inspiration. He's usually also about two inches away from May's arse.

Stephen is a stuffed teddy bear, devoid of personality. He just gets passed around and sat in the right chair at EU meetings and doesn't speak or do much whilst wearing his rapidly fading Vote Leave Tshirt.

Gavin generally sits in the corner playing with his toy soliders and the unlucky soul he's forced to play with him today. They always look petrified and as if they have been taken hostage.

David sit with his head perpetually in his hands. He's forever cleaning up the mess that Chris has made in the office.

Matt, has an app on his phone that he constantly plays with. He now wears Jeremy's old lapel badge. He is currently trying to order body bags and insulin and not look incredibly worried. He would like a bus, but no one will give him one.

No one can remember who on earth Damian even is. They keep asking his name and job title. Its like his entire department has fallen down the crack at the back of the sofa.

Dr Liam, just bores the tits off everyone showing them his latest holiday snaps of some far flung African country no one can find on the map.

Greg. Poor Greg. He offers the Japanese a cracking deal. Then Theresa blew it. Generally speaking his job is purely to ring around businesses shouting 'ITS ALL GOING TO BE FINE. REALLY IT IS. HONEST. I PROMISE YOU'. With ever decreasing panic and sense of terror with each new call.

Michael, like Jeremy tries to stand as close to Theresa as physically possible. He's weasel looking with his hand constantly behind his back concealing a knife.

Chris sits plays with a lighter and a naked fuel or some other lethal combination, looking at it with wonder about what might happen if they touch. Everyone tends to try and sit as far away from Chris as possible as usually there is a disaster close at hand.

Amber, after having got another job after being sacked to save May resigning from the Home Office, spends the entire time threatening to resign again. Everyone ignores her, because they know she'll never do it. She's just background noise.

Andrea just fetches the home made jam, tea and biscuits and looks confused most of the time.

The potrait of Maggie on the wall, just looks on with a new expression of horror each episode.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
35
RedToothBrush · 13/02/2019 17:58

Laura Kuennsberg@bbclaurak
Hear ERG told Chief Whip this afternoon they wouldn't back govt tmrw unless motion changed, govt refused - Brexiteer group haven't decided yet if they will abstain or vote against but they won't back govt - either way, another reminder May just can't rely on her backbenches

www.telegraph.co.uk/politics/2019/02/12/guy-verhofstadt-warns-brexiteers-could-end-guillotine-like-leaders/amp/?__twitter_impression=true
Guy Verhofstadt warns Brexiteers could end up on the guillotine like the leaders of the French Revolution

Jacob Rees-Mogg @ jacobreesmogg
Hell fire one week, the guillotine the next, these Eurocrats seem unduly excitable.

OP posts:
SparklySneakers · 13/02/2019 18:03

Evening all.
Name change as MNHQ have failed to respond about the account breaches.

RedToothBrush · 13/02/2019 18:04

New Statesman @ newstatesman
"The Valentine’s Day vote on the government's next step is shaping up to be an anticlimax."

@patrickkmaguire on this week's amendments.

www.newstatesman.com/politics/uk/2019/02/how-will-mps-amend-week-s-brexit-motion?amp&__twitter_impression=true
How will MPs amend this week’s Brexit motion?

We have a
Corbyn amendment
(demands a meaningful vote on 27th Feb)

Clarke amendment
(preferential vote on Brexit options)

Revoke amendment by the snp

2nd ref amendment (two different ones)

OP posts:
RedToothBrush · 13/02/2019 18:28

Donald Tusk @ eucopresident
No news is not always good news. EU27 still waiting for concrete, realistic proposals from London on how to break #Brexit impasse.

OP posts:
Littlespaces · 13/02/2019 18:31

Light relief & humour :)

www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/article/ac945a49-30ac-4049-b93d-10d98122f148

Lucygoeswalkies · 13/02/2019 18:42

@LeClerc @Haselstein My feelings exactly. I was going to say so earlier, but I’m still catching up with the thread.

Jericho1 · 13/02/2019 18:51

Evening all. Name change as MNHQ have failed to respond about the account breaches

Sorry to hear that. I've just deleted all my DMs; met and corresponded with some lovely mums netters, don't want their contact information being further compromised.

I suspect this site won't exist, at least this thread won't, in 7 short weeks.

Lucygoeswalkies · 13/02/2019 18:55

Motheroffour I’ve signed and shared.

dontcallmelen · 13/02/2019 19:03

Also signed & contacted my MP asking what her stance is, as I can’t find anything on her website relating to Brexit, which is a bit worrying.

67chevvyimpala · 13/02/2019 19:17

I've just deleted my inbox too.

I've also asked mnhq to delete posts in my previous user names.

it is I...destiel!

Jericho1 · 13/02/2019 19:23

I've also asked mnhq to delete posts in my previous user names
Can you do that destiel?
How do you ask MN to do that?
By email?

Jericho1 · 13/02/2019 19:24

Sorry 67chevvyimpala (handsome name Smile)

67chevvyimpala · 13/02/2019 19:25

Report posts in that name

Jericho1 · 13/02/2019 19:27

Thanks.

BigChocFrenzy · 13/02/2019 20:00

Signed, mother 🙂

SparklySneakers · 13/02/2019 20:04

I've still not heard anything from the reply they asked me to send them. Am not impressed.

67chevvyimpala · 13/02/2019 20:09

It's all a bit of a mess isn't it sparkly?

BigChocFrenzy · 13/02/2019 20:10

sparkly If that's MNHQ you EMed, I think they are overwhelmed atm with OopsGate
So response time likely to be much longer than their usual

bluebluewindows · 13/02/2019 20:12

Namechanged again as didn’t like the revised version - born is now blue...

RedToothBrush · 13/02/2019 20:13

Peston @ itvpeston
Labour MP @jessphillips says that she would be prepared to defy the party whip and vote for May’s deal to protect the interests of her constituents. #Peston

OP posts:
Lucygoeswalkies · 13/02/2019 20:14

I’ve emailed my MP - but I hold out very little hope. I’m in a heavily leave area, and she’s the type to say ‘no deal? Bring it on!’

67chevvyimpala · 13/02/2019 20:14

Tbh I got a quick reply.

Maybe e mail again?

RedToothBrush · 13/02/2019 20:18

Oh goodie.

Here is the Israeli pm with a friendly message about Iran.

Gulp

Westminstenders: Spitting Image Reimagined
OP posts:
GeistohneGrenzen · 13/02/2019 20:26

Motheroffour I’ve signed and shared as well.

67chevvyimpala · 13/02/2019 20:29

Signed

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