Only because I mentioned it earlier, anticipating a few chuckles, heres my notes from todays Select Committee questioning the BBC. (No direct question about bias/programme content whatsoever...but some bits didnt disappoint!)
I deserve a medal, I sat through it!
Keynotes....of note. (Though most of it wasnt)
Q. What work is the BBC doing to monitor audience reaction and feedback? Have you commisioned any studies?
A. No. Nothing. But we're employing a new bloke who will have a title of 'Director' and we'll ask him about this. (Sorry, could be a 'her'..... NOT!)
Q. But you have 5 staff members already who have a title of 'Director' in marketing etc earning over £150k pa, surely theyd oversee regular studies and analysis of audience responses to programming?
A. We need another one. Were employing a bloke ........
Q. I tried to find how to contact a board member, and I couldnt find any contact details online etc. How do I contact a board member?
A. Write to Broadcasting House
Q. Do you have an email? Like chairman@bbc ?
A Write to Broadcasting House
Q. I also tried to access the complaints procedure. Its not clear. Do you have one?
A. If you write to Broadcasting House with a complaint, we'll tell you what the procedure is when we reply.
Q Well how about staff complaints?
A. Yes we have those. (Indeed theres a bit of a spike at the moment)
Q. Licence fee. (Various levels of confusion here from the committee members) So we have vans that drive round enforcing household licence fee evasion? Online you enforce as an individual? Would a PIN sent with a licence resolve this?
A. The vans stay. PINs too hard and wouldnt apply to free to air service (very good point I thought)
Q. But I have 2 licences, at 2 addresses, though I can only watch one set in one house at one time, and I have to register for online viewing too. Are you chasing individuals, or households?
A. Everyone. Every property. Everywhere.
Q. Theres been a few complaints about licence enforcement? Whys it so hard?
A. Were employing a bloke ........'director'.... He can look at this.
Q. Will you be means testing the over 75's?
A. Ooooh, good idea. We'll ask new bloke to look at that....
Q. BBC productions are eligible for tax credits, are they not. Does that mean that production is funded by the tax payer as well as the licence fee payers?
A. Yep.
Q. This years pay disclosures. Jeremy Vine for example, earned £80k for 1 nights work on the scottish referendum. As that would take an average worker, 3 years to earn, do you think its proportionate?
A. We're very sumpathetic to those earning average wage.
Q. Is it proportionate?
A. No one at the BBC is overpaid.
Q. Do you have a policy regards paying talent through Personal Service Companies vs PAYE?
A. We use HMRC rules.
Q. But do you have a policy?
A. No.
Q. Scotland. Youre launching a new Scottish channel?
A. Yes. BBC Scotland isnt scottish enough.
Q. Whats the budget for this new channel?
A. 30 million (side note: Total BBC revenue this year, £5,000million)
Q. What are you going to deliver for 30 million?
A. No idea.
Q. Well its not a lot in terms of 'new channel' costs. Is it going to be shit?
A. Thats for the new bloke we're going to hire......etc etc
Q. Are you going to move any back office/support services up to Scotland, like you moved finance to Cardiff?
A. No. But HR is in Birmingham
Q. Radio salaries. Are they proportionate in what is a far smaller market?
A. Dont know. No idea what radio people should be paid.
Chair speaks to camera on live feed "If there are any commercial radio presenters out there earning more than £150k pa, could you please write to us at the Select committee " (Genuinely, he did that. LOL!!!!)
Q. BBC World Service showed a growth of 3% last year, but this was down to the currency fluctuations due to Brexit. Without that, it would have made a loss?
A. Yep, that was good news.
Here end the committee.