Volunteer here to be a negotiator - we are short of them

[whydidhesaythat]

please state your qualifications also

all those who think that Margrethe should write and volunteer her services to this Heywood chap say aye!

Margrethe, if you offer your services two days a week at £50 per hour working remotely surely they will snap you up?

MangoMoon I have rehired you

In fact all of you sound better than London law firms....

What makes you think I'm to be anymore trusted around Juncker as a Remainer???

The man is a cockwomble.

Does anybody like Juncker? Except his mum? He's like their very own Gove.

I'm all zen and shit so I can plan nice, for a bit.

We could do a good cop/bad cop routine with him Mango? It works in films.

Alis, if there's good cop/bad cop, then I shall channel Melissa McCarthy in 'The Heat'.

Does anybody like Juncker? Except his mum? He's like their very own Gove.

I did a proper, choking lol at that Alis.
(Not a MN pretend tea over keyboard spit, a proper hearty lol)

Thanks why!
Am only available until September though as previously stated

(On a serious note, definitely Megrethe! Very impressive!)

Ahem I was the one who fired Mango I'm concerned about all this touchy feely liking and disliking - it's going to get in the way.

And I think we need to play down the skills. Expertise is all a bit 2015.

Apart from cake making skills, obviously.

Flo

Off to the back of the volunteer queue again....

Oh alright then, I'm a sucker for sad faces. You're in.

Thanks Flo!

Me now:

Also me:

Can I volunteer? I'm a police officer so very used to dealing with difficult people. And if all else fails I can just handcuff them and throw them in a cell until they agree.

Do you have a Taser? Can I have a go?

I'd forgotten about that. And an asp. And cs but that makes me a snotty dribbling mess so I probably won't use that.

Will you be good cop or bad cop, Smutly?

I'm in. I speak English, which is good. I'm autistic so I won't be too bothered by anyone else's emotions unless they spell it out to me, and I can negotiate tricky situations where two people want differing outcomes over the same piece of land (back garden - trampoline or patio area).

What's an asp? I always eye up the police utility belt and stop myself asking if I can have a play with them. Sadly I see more armed police these days and big guns scare me.

original the metal stick that sort of flicks out. Hurts if they hit you with it.

Like a radio aerial or ds's light saber? Not very exciting unless it lights up or makes a zwizzzzz noise when you swish it.

Yeah like that! Bit thicker than a car aerial.

Not sure if they use them anymore or if they're not in the kit. I could see how it would become tempting to smack people with them just because

When I read asp, my first thought was snakes, as in Cleopatra.

This means I'm too intellectual for the job, doesn't it?

Oooh. Can civilians have them? I'm thinking just for rush hour you understand...