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Brexit

Volunteer here to be a negotiator - we are short of them

115 replies

whydidhesaythat · 03/07/2016 22:43

please state your qualifications also

OP posts:
Floisme · 05/07/2016 06:48

I think we should get a bid in before they give it G4S.

TheElementsSong · 05/07/2016 07:21

Are we up to 13 volunteers? Only 467 to go!

SmashingTurnips · 05/07/2016 07:50

I nominate Margeret Mountford. She can raise her eyebrow and glare at them. She knows about business and law.

Figmentofmyimagination · 05/07/2016 09:14

Well on the today programme this morning they reported that the head of the civil service has approached the likes of McKinsey, deloittes etc to be told that they are busy advising their own clients about brexit, and that any assistance will 'come at a price'. Think many millions of pounds of fees, spread over a very long time. Lucky with have the £350 million pound rebate.

Lweji · 05/07/2016 09:16

Farage is free, I hear.

tadjennyp · 05/07/2016 09:28

I speak German fluently and French and Spanish really well. I've lived in Scotland, Wales and Germany as well as England. I'll volunteer for the 'making people feel welcome' jobs. How many volunteers are you up to now?

TheElementsSong · 05/07/2016 09:48

Including tad and Farage we might have 15 Grin. This is going very well, I think!

InShockReally · 05/07/2016 11:05

Once again guys, I think you're all over-thinking it. Surely all we need to do is print off Boris's columns and mail them around? Then they'll know what we want and just do it. That is how it works, right?

whydidhesaythat · 05/07/2016 11:48

ok so let's count all Boris' columns as one negotiator

it's appalling imagining all the London law firms trying to get their partners in on the game, just appalling....

However, I can recommend the IPKats, especially Jeremy.

Presumaby the moneysavingexpert guy has been included?

Ooh, my GP neighbour. He is very popular and a really good listener.

OP posts:
whydidhesaythat · 05/07/2016 11:48

oh, and Justine off mumsnet would actually be really good.

OP posts:
Lweji · 05/07/2016 12:28

the moneysavingexpert
He might undermine the negotiations just to prove Brexit was/would be a bad idea.

I suppose I could join in. I have experience of dealing with pesky EC financial officers (and correcting their mistakes) and international partners the trick with the Germans is to tire them out and soak them in caipirinhas both in Europe and elsewhere.

I just couldn't guarantee that I'd help in any way complete a Brexit. Negotiations might take a few decades with a little help from MN and procrastination.

originalmavis · 05/07/2016 12:31

I'm a qualified therapist and can shout really really loudly. I can do a very good scary mummy voice and face (makes grown men cry). I make nice cake.

TheElementsSong · 05/07/2016 13:26

We're up to 19! (Give or take a few).

Dawndonnaagain · 05/07/2016 13:28

I think I'd be quite good. Four children, two of whom are twins. The youngest (twins) are now 19. I am still negotiating clothes loans and peace treaties!

TheElementsSong · 05/07/2016 13:30

You'd be excellent Donna! But wait - did you vote Remain?

Margrethe · 05/07/2016 13:37

I have an honours degree in politics, an MBA, and a juris doctorate. I speak fluent Spanish and French and a little Dutch. I used to negotiate terms on complex, international projects for one of Britain's biggest PLCs. And I am free because my job offer was rescinded due to Brexit. Best of all, I've pretty much alienated all my fellow Remain voters. Always important to understand both sides!Grin

Oh wait, I am a "mum" who has been on a "career break," I couldn't possibly manage proper job now, my heads gone all to pudding! Angry

Dawndonnaagain · 05/07/2016 13:39

I did indeed!

Lweji · 05/07/2016 13:40

BTW, other issues in addition to the others pointed out earlier:
I'd want to be paid, and in Euros.
I'm not British, but I understand you're desperate.
I'd have voted Remain (if that was not clear).

In favour: I still own (half) a house in the UK and don't want it to become a messy affair.

JudyCoolibar · 05/07/2016 13:53

The big law firms don't seem to be interested. According to the Financial Times, this is going to be a major headache:

"Sir Simon Fraser, former permanent secretary at the Foreign Office, said last month that Britain had 20 “active hands-on” trade negotiators, and would be up against 600 experienced trade specialists in Brussels.

Britain is turning to the private sector to prepare for Brexit, seeking to second consultants to boost a civil service with almost no experience of complex trade negotiations.

Sir Jeremy Heywood, the country’s top civil servant, has held talks with companies including accountants EY and KPMG, and the consultants McKinsey, as he prepares for a negotiation with Brussels described by outgoing prime minister David Cameron as “the most important task the British civil service has undertaken in decades”.

“We want the brightest and the best working on these complex negotiations,” said a government spokesperson. “It is right to draw on people with the necessary skills and expertise from within the civil service but also to look outside too.”

The senior partner of a leading London-based law firm said: “We’ve got super-smart people who understand the regulatory framework who will be intensely valuable.”

The companies told Sir Jeremy that their staff were already stretched helping clients deal with the fallout of Brexit and that while they want to help, it will come at a substantial price to the taxpayer.

The government is believed to have estimated that it needs between 700 and 750 extra staff to negotiate not just with the EU but with the other countries with which the bloc has trade deals.

“The government is going to struggle to gear up to have the bandwidth to properly negotiate the detailed cross-EU and wider bilateral trade deals across the globe,” said Iain Anderson, executive chairman of communications company Cicero.

One leading lawyer said staff were not willing to be seconded to government for the task and that the government’s hopes of recruiting enough people from the private sector for the task ahead was “dreaming”.

“The Cabinet Office needs to come down to reality,” this person said. “They will be confronted with people from the EU who live and breathe its rules. They should focus on getting people back from Brussels.”

To compound matters, some civil servants who have devoted their careers to developing Britain’s relations with the EU say they do not have the stomach to spend the next few years unravelling what they have built.

“Of course part of me thinks I have a duty to the country because I understand this stuff,” said one senior official. “But I could always go and make some money in the City instead.”"

SciFiFan2015 · 05/07/2016 14:08

If someone can confirm Picard's involvement I'm in. I'd walk over hot coals for that man
I'm now outed to anyone who really knows me.

TheElementsSong · 05/07/2016 14:19

Good information Judy and:

To compound matters, some civil servants who have devoted their careers to developing Britain’s relations with the EU say they do not have the stomach to spend the next few years unravelling what they have built

^^This especially.

Alisvolatpropiis · 05/07/2016 14:33

Yeah I'll give it a go.

I voted remain but that was how I voted then. My feelings on the result don't really matter because there are bigger problems. Now, I care about Britain moving forward and us all (British, EU and non EU nationals) getting through the uncertainty and upheaval in one piece.

Credentials - I am pretty steely, great at live debate/discussions, unlikely to blink first, won't go bonkers and tell Merkel et al to fuck off because I'm taking all my toys back at any point.

RedToothBrush · 05/07/2016 17:48

Have we got any Leave voters volunteering for the job?

MangoMoon · 05/07/2016 17:51

I volunteered as a Leave voter, but was summarily dismissed as I am not to be trusted around Juncker.

Alisvolatpropiis · 05/07/2016 17:55

We could do a good cop/bad cop routine with him Mango? It works in films.