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Brexit

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

To not be able to speak to my near neighbours who voted leave?

617 replies

TooMuchCoffeeMakesMeZoom · 24/06/2016 23:43

My children's future has been put at stake. Our economy risks ruin. Our relatively -well-off neighbours in a place with nearly full employment and very low recent immigration (local care companies and NHS are desperate for staff) have voted leave. They are only around fifty.

I'm gobsmacked.

The irony is that the small business they are in is affected by the growth of China as an economic powerhouse. So why on earth do they feel that leaving the EU gives them more power? It gives them less.

I am so angry and feel so let down by my country. These people, and people like them ahem destroyed my hopes for a continued peace in Europe.

How on earth am I expected to talk to them on an equal footing, knowing what they have done through their own greed?

OP posts:
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Evergreen17 · 26/06/2016 19:16

I understand
I have parted ways with a friend over this. I stick to my principles and I could not be in an honest friendship with her anymore.
Nope.

pontynan · 26/06/2016 19:16

YANBU. I feel equally strongly. This is not like a general election difference of opinion - this is about deep seated attitudes and beliefs. Like most people, I tend to choose my friends because they share similar values. It's not bitterness or drama - just that I feel I don't particularly want a close relationship any longer with those whose judgment and morality are so at odds with mine. I voted Remain, BTW, although I'm not sure that is relevant to the argument.

Grilledaubergines · 26/06/2016 19:19

I really hope you're my neighbour OP. I've never liked you, just engaged with you out of politeness. Now I see you're behaving like an idiot, it makes things easier.

shillwheeler · 26/06/2016 19:27

Think a lot of people feel that that, OP, for reasons well rehearsed.

It's a major decision with ramifications going forward for future generations - many of whom did not have a say as they are too young to vote, whilst some of the older generation are gleefully talking about getting back "their" Britain - when the reality is they won't have to live with all of the fall-out.

In this sense it is quite different from a general election as there really is no second chance, no balancing different policies, and compromises. It really is a stark black and white, yes or no.

Both campaigns were badly run, short on truth and low on facts and rational discussion. The claims about immigration and that the money "saved" will go to the NHS have been acknowledged as "mistakes" already.

The terribly reality of the situation we are now in has been confirmed by the markets crashing, political instability and many prominent Brexiteers being very quiet - because they have no idea what happens next . Despite the political simplistic rhetoric , we can't just up and leave the EU without very serious consequences.

Unfortunately there has been a lot of bitterness in this campaign, probably because the stakes are so high...and the fact that it is such a momentous decision that cannot be reversed at the next election or mitigated in its effect through parliamentary process as all other legislation is just makes this more so.

Are you being unreasonable? Personally I don't think so, as I would feel the same. Over time, chances are you'll feel differently, rediscover common ground. But you can't help the way you feel right now. As long as you're not being overtly rude, just keeping your distance, can't see that you're being unreasonable.

If you still feel like this in the coming weeks, perhaps you can politely remind them of their views when they start complaining about interest rates/having to get visas/whatever other fall-out comes back and bites them personally.

dowhatnow · 26/06/2016 19:30

I think them having a different opinion is fine as long as they don't act in any negative fashion towards anyone. You can have different views whilst still acting in a moral, compassionate, kind way.

Dimond08 · 26/06/2016 19:43

I can't believe what I am reading. Is this a joke??? I voted out. You won't upset me, if you don't talk to me again!!!😳😳😳. Freedom of speech, freedom to vote either way. Get over it!!!

Katherine2626 · 26/06/2016 19:44

Get a grip. No one here is to be thrown out. (Unless they have no right to be here) Immigrants will still come, but hopefully in a more controlled way and we can accept people with skills and a will to work. Other people's politics are none of your business - that's why the ballot box is secret. I agree with others, you are being over dramatic and doubtlessly in a while a lot of this will have settled down. Yes, this has been a seismic event; but this country copes and will continue to do so. It will not be easy but continuing to live with unelected unnacountable faceless people making laws for us would have made for an uneasy future. The larger percentage of our people who voted out are not all mad or now regretting their vote - it's amazing how many people love democracy until it doesn't go their way and then they start shouting unfair, all wrong, let's have another ballot. Accept, face forward and let's get on with it, because like arguing with the ref in a football match, it's a pointless exercise and you might as well just cheer up and get on with the game.

NotAKeyboardWarrior · 26/06/2016 19:45

I felt the same at first. I was fucking furious at all the barely believable propaganda team Brexit were touting. I was disgusted beyond belief that so many had apparently believed it. I was terrified for my children's future and I know a fair few people who voted leave because they blamed immigrants for this country's problems rather than the blatantly corrupt government. I felt ashamed of my countrymen.

We'll get over it. Your vote doesn't define you. Everyone has a stupid/non PC/irrational side. Everyone's a hypocrite in one way or another. Most of us have some truly great qualities too. If we only chose to spend time with people who reflected our views wonderfully we'd be very, very lonely.

I don't believe the OP deserves to be spoken to so harshly. This is a scary new era and we all have fears and grievances. A lot of us are upset with the results of the referendum. Some of us feel marginalised and betrayed by people we felt were 'on our side'. It's not hard to read into it and even take it personally.

But corrupt influences thrive on a people divided. Hence scapegoating of minorities in propaganda! We need each other now more than ever.

sartra · 26/06/2016 19:51

Are you serious? Will you stop speaking to your best friends/family/work colleagues etc if they voted differently to you??

Babybeesmama · 26/06/2016 19:54

YABU they were entitled to their vote - that's what a democracy is. You won't have many friends in this life if you fall out with people just because they don't share your opinion.

whatkatiedidnext31 · 26/06/2016 19:59

.

To not be able to speak to my near neighbours who voted leave?
UptownFunk00 · 26/06/2016 20:28

Oh for fucks sake.

Grown the fuck up.

I feel sorry for the neighbours if you are so narrow minded.

Adnerb95 · 26/06/2016 20:30

Firstly, if you voted Out, please have some grace and don't comment!
You may not understand this at all, but 48% of the voters are in shock and are grieving. (Actually rather more than this as over a million voters reportedly "regret their vote")
Of course you don't understand, why would you? You clearly don't feel the same about Europe as we do.
But use some imagination - how would you feel if someone said your county was no longer to be part of Britain or if you were no longer allowed to travel freely within the UK. you have to apply for a visa to visit Yorkshire, for example? Well, difficult as it is for you to accept, some of us feel exactly the same about Europe!
When people are grieving, they are not always rational. They will do things which seem rather extreme. For a short time, they are slightly insane.
But YOU WON - you can afford to be a little tolerant. After all, you all keep telling us that you are tolerant. Don't worry, we'll be back to normal soon.

Roonerspism · 26/06/2016 20:37

Please reference the 1 million who regret their vote to Leave.

Firstly - we now know for sure that polls are utter shite

Secondly - very quick gathering of 1 million views

I appreciate this is difficult. Believe it or not, I voted Leave and 5 years ago would never have countenanced that. But the EU could not change. It told us that unequivocally on Wednesday.

That was ok for you. It wasn't for me. I'm gutted the great EEC project went down this road for the UK. I'm nervous too (but also exhilarated).

The EU will HAVE to start listening to its citizens. Not the elite. Or it will simply unravel altogether.

Brexit · 26/06/2016 20:39

😄 Are you serious? Telling people who can and cannot post so as not to upset your delicate souls.

Get over yourself.

Grilledaubergines · 26/06/2016 20:43

adnerb

You don't get to decide who can comment. How conceited of you.

Rose1605 · 26/06/2016 20:44

It's the 'get over it' attitude that is frustrating. The leave voters are simply not acknowledging that the remain voters had reasons to vote remain and many are now concerned about their jobs, futures and children's futures. Whether you agree or not with that concern, 'get over it' is not reassuring and widening the divides.

TriniRedVelvet · 26/06/2016 20:44

Remainers have been verbally abusing leave voters up and down fucking mumsnet and you're telling us to not speak???????

OrangesandLemonsNow · 26/06/2016 20:48

The leave voters are simply not acknowledging that the remain voters had reasons to vote remain

Leave voters have been called thick, stupid, ignorant, racists, uneducated, xenophobic, selfish, amongst many other things.

Respect for the way people vote works both ways.

Comments like the above widen the divides also.

MangoMoon · 26/06/2016 20:55

I was called English chav scum on this very thread!

But yeah, it's the leavers that are big meanie-pants.

Boiledfart · 26/06/2016 20:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mrsfuzzy · 26/06/2016 20:58

thank god for that ! we can't bring ourselves to speak to you either given your choice.

mrsfuzzy · 26/06/2016 21:02

i want to propose adnerb for prime minister - of north korea, you will feel at home, not allowing freedom of speech, abnerb ? more like adknob.

Adnerb95 · 26/06/2016 21:05

Ok I completely accept that I should not have said that Leave voters should not comment!
You are of course free both to vote as you wish and to comment.

My plea was really to say "please in your comments consider that the Remainers are in crisis - when people are in crisis you normally take that into account when you speak.

I completely deplore anyone - Remainer or Leaver - abusing or insulting the "opposition". It is not acceptable.

The fact that Remainers are shocked and grieving doesn't excuse being nasty.

mrsfuzzy · 26/06/2016 21:12

grieving ?? has anyone actually died as a result of the outcome ? how dramatic.

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