My in laws asked me to not speak my native language

[Kate8889]

We were all sitting together and my mom said something to me in our native language that wasn't complimentary of my in laws (she didn't like that they called her grandma, she has repeatedly asked to not be called that).

The next day my in laws in strong terms asked that I not speak in my native tongue when around them. I am devastated. It is my identity and how I communicate with my mom. It's one of the few things that feel like they are truly mine right now

Then why did you leave your native country?

Also, could you find a group that speaks your language, maybe via a book club or even just a social gathering. That might help you not miss your language as much.

I needed medical care that was not available in my country of origin

Unfortunately the only groups I have found for my language locally are religion based

The language is Russian and yes they may have no use for it in their adult lives the way things are unfortunately going because of current leadership, but it's still a skill I have that I wanted to pass on if I could.

I have worked to talk with them in my native language but sometimes it's a lot of work to switch between talking to my husband and them etc. they hear English on TV and in daycare and from dad so I am not even sure the effort is worth it as the chances they'll get to visit is getting slimmer by the day, but I'm trying my best. Being a parent is tiring.

Yep, childcare is very definitely hard work and tiring! I don't think you'll find much disagreement on here.

They will need Russian speakers for spying

Jokes aside, it's a lovely language and you are rightly proud of your heritage and your children should absolutely speak it and you should speak it with your kids all the time at home and out and about.

Your in laws are very rude for calling your mum 'grandma' after she has repeatedly asked them not,