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Ethical dilemmas

Should I complain after a nurse shared my 16-year-old's medical details?

707 replies

Midglet · 29/08/2026 10:00

My 16yr old had an incident this week that required medical intervention. They didn’t want people, even immediate family and close relatives, to know until they had underwent the operation and we respected those wishes. However a theatre nurse recognised their name and before my child was even under anaesthetic, the nurse had texted a distant relative of ours and divulged that not only was our child in for an operation , but the nature of such. The child was in theatre for four hours but within twenty mins of them being taken in the distant relative , who doesn’t have our mobile numbers, then started calling the hospital demanding details of our child’s prognosis and treatment. Thankfully we had been tipped off very quickly as the relative started contacting other family members ( who themselves weren’t aware of the situation until they themselves contacted us to see what was happening) and were able to request staff to refrain from divulging such. After several failed attempts the relative then turned up at the hospital and demanded access to our child, by which point they were out of surgery. The ward staff asked our 16 yr old ( with us present) if they would like the relative to gain access and our child immediately burst into tears with the thought …the relative is particularly difficult at the best of times and the children try to avoid all contact by their own choice . Thankfully again the staff were able to refuse the relative entry into the ward (Although our child is 16 and should have been in the adult wards a lack of beds had resulted in them being housed in the children’s ward with better security) . Anyway I am sitting stewing about the actions of this initial theatre nurse divulging private medical information to a third party . I know this is a huge breach of confidence and I hope such would be a disciplinary if I was to raise a complaint but I don’t know if I should . The nurse is a friend of the relative hence why she reached out and my family are divided as whether to take action as it will cause trouble within the wider family. Hubby thinks I should just forget it to keep the peace but I think the theatre nurse should be made aware her actions were totally unacceptable. I’ve never complained about anything before . Your thoughts would be appreciated !

OP posts:
JacknDiane · 29/08/2026 10:02

This is terrible, I would complain.

WorkingItOutAsIGo · 29/08/2026 10:02

Completely unacceptable and you must report it. Otherwise you are allowing them to do it to the next person they know. And it's important that your child knows you've got their back.

Muchtoomuchtodo · 29/08/2026 10:03

Absolutely complain.

This is gross misconduct and should not happen.

Whorulestheroost1 · 29/08/2026 10:05

Christ I am a Nurse of over 30 years and would know this is a sackable offence. I would 100% take it further, appalling behaviour and a breach of our NMC code of conduct yet alone the data breach. I would be furious.

lesstalkingmorelistening · 29/08/2026 10:06

This is shocking, 100% report!

user293948849167 · 29/08/2026 10:06

That’s awful, yes absolutely you should complain

HewasH2O · 29/08/2026 10:07

This should be reported calmly & factually (as you did above). It's a serious disciplinary matter. The hospital would also be able to establish if the theatre nurse has also accessed medical records inappropriately.

Please forget about causing further trouble. The nurse did that all be herself.

PashaMinaMio · 29/08/2026 10:08

Report her. No questions about it.

Medical confidentiality is to be taken seriously. I’ve worked in that arena and it’s a rule not to be broken. It’s already caused issues for the patient (your daughter) and your close family.

That (gossiping) nurse needs a warning and soon. Just do it.

SpareVanKeys · 29/08/2026 10:10

That’s outrageous. And the nurse would be fully aware of the rules. I would definitely complain, especially as it caused the patient unnecessary upset.

Anewuser · 29/08/2026 10:10

I’m surprised you even have to ask.

Definitely report her. There is no excuse whatsoever to gossip about a patient.

As PP says, your 16 year old needs to know you have their back.

AdeleRochester · 29/08/2026 10:14

That’s outrageous!!

I would be volcanically angry and would report straightaway.

Bear in mind if she’s gossiping about your DD she’s also gossiping about other patients.

Spidey66 · 29/08/2026 10:15

Definitely complain. She could be struck off the NMC register for this, quite rightly.

Flatandhappy · 29/08/2026 10:15

Definitely report her, outrageous behaviour. There is no way on earth I would let this go, you need to advocate for your DD.

Becuriousnotjudgemental1980 · 29/08/2026 10:16

Absolutely complain. I work in the NHS and that is a huge breach of patient confidentiality. Sackable offence. You should be angry and report it.

MyArtfulGreySloth · 29/08/2026 10:17

Absolutely report!

Happyjoe · 29/08/2026 10:18

This will cost them their job. Totally totally out of line.
My brother worked for the NHS and occasionally someone he knew or some connection would pop along and not a word would be spoken, everyone who works for the NHS is aware of the rules.

Hope all recovering well too.

fashionqueen0123 · 29/08/2026 10:19

Bloody hell this is outrageous. I work in a confidential setting but not anywhere as important as this and I would not do anything remotely close to this!! Even if I see someone in the street I’ve seen at work I don’t reveal
it unless they mention it. If they said they can’t remember I could give hints but I can not say it.

This beyond belief! You must report this asap 100%.

Willowskyblue · 29/08/2026 10:19

Report her. I’d guess your (very vulnerable at the time) child isn’t the only patient she’s talked about to others inappropriately.

Woob · 29/08/2026 10:19

Of course; this is a sackable offence.

BananaWoman999 · 29/08/2026 10:19

100% report.

Not only has she broken confidentiality, but it distressed your child at an extremely vulnerable time. Completely indefensible in my view.

fashionqueen0123 · 29/08/2026 10:21

And this part

’The nurse is a friend of the relative hence why she reached out and my family are divided as whether to take action as it will cause trouble within the wider family. ’

The only person who caused trouble was the nurse and the relative! You should be giving them hell right now. Make the trouble yourself! Turning up at the hospital is unhinged.

sueelleker · 29/08/2026 10:21

This is appalling! Definitely report it, and don't let them fob you off. I worked in a hospital pharmacy, and a colleague was dismissed for looking up the records of someone she knew. And as far as I know, she didn't even pass the details on to anyone.

88776555xxz · 29/08/2026 10:21

What reason would you have NOT to report?

Thegreatestoftheseislove · 29/08/2026 10:23

Apart from safeguarding, patient confidentiality is absolute! A medic should not even acknowledge recognition unless it first comes from the patient. This lapse in confidentiality MUST be reported. Sorry to read of your experience.

Pancakeflipper · 29/08/2026 10:23

Report.

You have to.