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Ethical dilemmas

Should I complain after a nurse shared my 16-year-old's medical details?

707 replies

Midglet · 29/08/2026 10:00

My 16yr old had an incident this week that required medical intervention. They didn’t want people, even immediate family and close relatives, to know until they had underwent the operation and we respected those wishes. However a theatre nurse recognised their name and before my child was even under anaesthetic, the nurse had texted a distant relative of ours and divulged that not only was our child in for an operation , but the nature of such. The child was in theatre for four hours but within twenty mins of them being taken in the distant relative , who doesn’t have our mobile numbers, then started calling the hospital demanding details of our child’s prognosis and treatment. Thankfully we had been tipped off very quickly as the relative started contacting other family members ( who themselves weren’t aware of the situation until they themselves contacted us to see what was happening) and were able to request staff to refrain from divulging such. After several failed attempts the relative then turned up at the hospital and demanded access to our child, by which point they were out of surgery. The ward staff asked our 16 yr old ( with us present) if they would like the relative to gain access and our child immediately burst into tears with the thought …the relative is particularly difficult at the best of times and the children try to avoid all contact by their own choice . Thankfully again the staff were able to refuse the relative entry into the ward (Although our child is 16 and should have been in the adult wards a lack of beds had resulted in them being housed in the children’s ward with better security) . Anyway I am sitting stewing about the actions of this initial theatre nurse divulging private medical information to a third party . I know this is a huge breach of confidence and I hope such would be a disciplinary if I was to raise a complaint but I don’t know if I should . The nurse is a friend of the relative hence why she reached out and my family are divided as whether to take action as it will cause trouble within the wider family. Hubby thinks I should just forget it to keep the peace but I think the theatre nurse should be made aware her actions were totally unacceptable. I’ve never complained about anything before . Your thoughts would be appreciated !

OP posts:
HoppingPavlova · 29/08/2026 11:56

Absolutely unacceptable, and the nurse will know this, and you should lodge a complaint.

diddl · 29/08/2026 11:56

the relative is particularly difficult at the best of times and the children try to avoid all contact by their own choice .

And yet your husband & other family members think you should do nothing?

Do they not care about your child?

The nurse is a friend of the relative hence why she reached out

But she wasn't reaching out as a friend she was reaching out in a "professional" capacity because that's how she knew what was going on!

badbunnysadbunny · 29/08/2026 11:56

Doctor here

this it utterly reprehensible. This isn’t a stupid slip of the tongue (eg seeing the relative in sainsburys and saying hope the child feeling better - although that is a huge NO NO) - she has actively sought contact to divulge confidential information of a CHILD.

because a child also a child safeguarding issue in my opinion.

1coconut2coconut3coconut4 · 29/08/2026 11:57

I would definitely report, totally unprofessional. Any complaints from the relative cm be redirected to the nurse who breached her professional ethics.

Thedogscollar · 29/08/2026 11:57

Under the NMC code this is a severe fitness to practice offence.
I'd be contacting PALS and the NMC.
I've worked over 30 years in the NHS and this is a sackable offence.
Shocking behaviour from this nurse.

Moveoverdarlin · 29/08/2026 11:58

I can’t quite believe this. Ignore your husband who just wants a quiet life, you one hundred percent need to report her.

Shocking.

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 29/08/2026 11:58

Abso-fucking-lutely

ClairDeLaLune · 29/08/2026 11:59

That’s utterly shocking, you 100% need to report. Hope your child is recovering well.

SulkingInTheCatio · 29/08/2026 12:00

100% report her and I say that as an nmc registrant. She has not upheld the code at all. She will lose her job and possibly be struck off. And deserves it.

RapunzelHadExtensions · 29/08/2026 12:00

Awful, but not a surprise. Loads of medical staff are being investigated for looking at the boy who was attacked by the crocodile's medical record and telling others.
Definitely complain.

YouHaveAnArse · 29/08/2026 12:01

This is exactly the kind of situation they put into GDPR training courses as an example of things you absolutely should not ever do.

At 16 your child may be able to complain themselves to the GMC or the ICO should they wish to. I certainly would have done.

I hope they are recovering well.

Vallies · 29/08/2026 12:02

That is dreadful. I see a medical professional who I also know treats several of my friends. He doesn't even mention he's seen them, let alone what for.

It seems a very OTT reaction from a relative you're barely in touch with, so I guess there are circumstances that make it bigger than just relative got details a bit earlier than intended, but that is why every nurse should know not to divulge. Why did she make a point of calling her friend to let her know a relative was in?

newrubylane · 29/08/2026 12:02

I think you should report.

When I was a teenager one of the practice nurses at our GP had sons at our school. On more than one occasion she told her sons when girls from school had seen her regarding contraception. Horrific really, she should have been reported but I don't think she ever was.

lessglittermoremud · 29/08/2026 12:02

You must report it, keeping the peace as suggested by your DH could result in the nurse doing similar to a child who is being looked after in foster care/a non contact order being in place and jeopardising a child’s safety.
Its absolutely outrageous I can’t quite understand what she was thinking!

ElBandito · 29/08/2026 12:02

Complain, this is absolutely outrageous!

FreezingOut · 29/08/2026 12:03

As an NHS hospital consultant, I beg you to report.

Cakeandcardio · 29/08/2026 12:03

I thought you were going to say something like a practice nurse said a comment to you about your child and that was bad enough. What you have described is an outrageous breach of trust and the rules. Report and do not be concerned about feelings (except those of your child)

Birdsongsinging · 29/08/2026 12:05

Another NHS worker here saying yes, definitely report this person. This is a disciplinary offence and of course it should never have happened. They need to be reported to appreciate the severity of their actions. Your daughter deserves this response.

Signofthetim3s · 29/08/2026 12:08

100% complain! If she did this to you, she is doing it to others too. What a twat. Hope your child is ok.

7238SM · 29/08/2026 12:10

Absolutely report! It doesn't sound like the family relations are that tight anyways and even if they were, that is still a clear breach. Next time she might be gossiping about your DH's prostate surgery or your colonoscopy etc.

www.nmc.org.uk/concerns-nurses-midwives/raise-a-concern/

pinkyredrose · 29/08/2026 12:10

Your husband has the wrong idea. How would he like it if a nurse let one of his workmates know about a medical condition he'd rather keep quiet (twisted bollock for instance) and then the workmate shared that info round the company including to a colleague who'd bullied him?

Definitely report, the nurse isn't to be trusted and shouldn't be in thier job.

thepariscrimefiles · 29/08/2026 12:10

Of course you need to report this nurse. She has broken one of the most important rules for health care workers, i.e. patient confidentiality. She had absolutely no right to do what she did.

It's not just that the nurse's actions were unacceptable. She has broken the terms of her employment and could, and should, lose her job for this.

Your husband is obviously scared to upset his family but he is very wrong to want to brush this under the carpet. It's obvious that you have family members that aren't safe for your children to be around. Who cares if they are upset?

Pinkflamingo10 · 29/08/2026 12:11

This is a breach of patient confidentiality.
if this is an nhs England hospital contact pals

Ohdearnotthisagain · 29/08/2026 12:12

I can’t believe you are asking the question.

Gross breach of privacy and a severe safeguarding issue. She deserves to be sacked. How fucking dare she.

Watermelongum · 29/08/2026 12:12

Please report the nurse, don't feel guilty. If she felt justified in this very serious breach of professional standards, she can explain that to the disciplinary board.

Please disregard your husband's ridiculous opinion.

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