Should I complain after a nurse shared my 16-year-old's medical details?

[Midglet]

My 16yr old had an incident this week that required medical intervention. They didn’t want people, even immediate family and close relatives, to know until they had underwent the operation and we respected those wishes. However a theatre nurse recognised their name and before my child was even under anaesthetic, the nurse had texted a distant relative of ours and divulged that not only was our child in for an operation , but the nature of such. The child was in theatre for four hours but within twenty mins of them being taken in the distant relative , who doesn’t have our mobile numbers, then started calling the hospital demanding details of our child’s prognosis and treatment. Thankfully we had been tipped off very quickly as the relative started contacting other family members ( who themselves weren’t aware of the situation until they themselves contacted us to see what was happening) and were able to request staff to refrain from divulging such. After several failed attempts the relative then turned up at the hospital and demanded access to our child, by which point they were out of surgery. The ward staff asked our 16 yr old ( with us present) if they would like the relative to gain access and our child immediately burst into tears with the thought …the relative is particularly difficult at the best of times and the children try to avoid all contact by their own choice . Thankfully again the staff were able to refuse the relative entry into the ward (Although our child is 16 and should have been in the adult wards a lack of beds had resulted in them being housed in the children’s ward with better security) . Anyway I am sitting stewing about the actions of this initial theatre nurse divulging private medical information to a third party . I know this is a huge breach of confidence and I hope such would be a disciplinary if I was to raise a complaint but I don’t know if I should . The nurse is a friend of the relative hence why she reached out and my family are divided as whether to take action as it will cause trouble within the wider family. Hubby thinks I should just forget it to keep the peace but I think the theatre nurse should be made aware her actions were totally unacceptable. I’ve never complained about anything before . Your thoughts would be appreciated !

Honestly don’t be a people pleaser , your daughter is more important than an estranged aunt or a complete stranger. If they lose their job , it is totally their own fault and it’s not something you and especially your daughter should feel responsible for . I don’t think it is a good example for your daughter to let it slide .

You should report it but you can frame it as a question/concern.

The nurse 100% knows that they are NOT allowed to do this. So really that's that. They have it coming.

One option is to call it what it is, raise the issue of a data breach, say it caused undue distress and you want to complain.

If you feel an all out complaint is not your style, you can contact PALS and ask for feedback on the incident regarding the data breach, highlight the incident requiring security to prevent an unwanted visit and question how this person even knew to contact/ attend the hospital because they had not got it from you. Then you can always say you didn't know it would go that far ...

Another less direct ( for you) option is to go to your local CCG/icb and flag it with them.

It will get the ball rolling.

No defence needed to your husband or wider family but be ready with, "how would you feel if you're personal data was shared without your consent?"
No further explanation required.

To be clear I think you should prioritise the right of your child to not have their confidentiality breached and you should complain loudly directly to make sure that they understand you will advocate for them, especially against this relative. You have done nothing wrong and you have the law and ethics on your side.

Why do other people deserve peace of your child had to go through this due to malicious and illegal behaviour?

OP needs to report it, not so much for her daughters sake (because that damage has already been done) but for every patient that passes through that nurse's hands, and who might face even worse repercussions from being identified.

Disgraceful

Wow! That is terrible!

This is exactly why it needs reporting….. some people in trusted positions can be so blasé about being the custodian of such sensitive information and it could have catastrophic consequences if shared with the wrong person…..imagine if the person who’s information was passed on was a victim of DV or of stalking/sexual assault etc.

It could be have a devastating outcome for the next person she ‘tells on’.

This is horrific and totally unacceptable. This needs to be reported.

It's safeguarding so it isn't for you to make any decision other than acknowledging it was wrong and reporting it.

I can tell OP is not going to do anything. OP if you don’t you’re also disgraceful actually.

Exactly. If you complain, all you’re doing is alerting the authorities of the situation. If they take further action, that’s their decision, not yours.

If you do not report this, you will have failed your child. This has nothing to do with your husband.

Not sure why people come on here to ask advice and then ignore it even when it's overwhelmingly in favour of one course of action. Disappearing is also rather annoying, especially when some nursing professionals have made it clear what you should do. 🤷‍♀️

Presumably the OP is also looking after a child in hospital and isn’t going to be in here constantly, rather than disappearing

and it’s fine to ask for advice and still not do it. I often want to know people’s opinions and perspectives, but it doesn’t mean I will always do what they say. I still take it into account as part of a wider context.

it’s not the OP’s responsibility to stop it happening to future patients. Yes, it might be nice if she did but her responsibility is to her child and what makes them feel most supported, and depending on the family situation, that might not be what anyone else would choose. Victims of other crimes aren’t responsible for future victims if they don’t report something (and there may be lots of reasons why someone doesn’t/can’t)- the responsibility is on the perpetrator.

Sorry if I've missed it but how did the theatre nurse know who you were and that you related to her friend?

Most of us know our best friend's children's/grandchildren's names, surely?

@Midglet - if you won’t do this for your own child, do it for the thousands and thousands of people who are reluctant to seek medical help for potentially serious issues becsuse they’re afraid someone they know will find out about their condition. Whether a parent, or an employer, or a partner … People die because of this. Because they might encounter a nurse like the one who gave away your child’s confidential details.

It is not your husband’s decision. It is yours.

No one said they were best friends and this was a great aunt of the child, not a parent or grandparent. I know the names of my friend's immediate families but not all their nieces and nephews or other more distant relatives. The OP did say the nurse recognised their name but, as they had never met, it could have been someone else with the same name. It's a valid question, I think.

Because the OP wants to make a report and her DH doesn't want to, and doesn't want her to. My suggestion would be fore him to talk to senior staff at the Hospital and see their reaction.

Tough luck if your husband doesn’t like it. If you don’t report it you will have let your daughter down when she needed you and was vulnerable. Who knows the long term repercussions on your relationship if you say nothing to ‘keep the peace’.

The nurse needs to face the consequences of her actions and choices. End of. This will be the tip of the iceberg with her misconduct I imagine.

No one wants to be in this situation. Very few people want someone to lose their job. But you didn’t cause this situation, this nurse did.
Was it clear to nursing staff that this had happened when the relative turned up?
Pick your child. I’d say no more to my husband about it but report anyway. This is not a situation of your making.

What if next time she blabs to her friend about his estranged wife who happens to be in hospital because he beat the hell out of her and she ran away? Report her OP. Do it now and stop being weak. If she deserves firing she will be fired, if she doesn't then she won't be.

I understand but you must pass on your concerns or it will happen again

I've been through a very similar situation and it transpired it was not an isolated occurrence.
Talk to the Trust as you have to us on MN Explain your concerns but allow them to investigate and take appropriate action . It will take it out of your hands

Complain.

You should be concerned who else she does this to. I know of a gp receptionist who has recently been sacked for disclosing medical info it is absolutely right they are no longer employed if they cannot follow basic rules

Disappointing update

i am worried the nurse would lose her job

She would deserve to if it happened.