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Ethical dilemmas

Should I complain after a nurse shared my 16-year-old's medical details?

707 replies

Midglet · 29/08/2026 10:00

My 16yr old had an incident this week that required medical intervention. They didn’t want people, even immediate family and close relatives, to know until they had underwent the operation and we respected those wishes. However a theatre nurse recognised their name and before my child was even under anaesthetic, the nurse had texted a distant relative of ours and divulged that not only was our child in for an operation , but the nature of such. The child was in theatre for four hours but within twenty mins of them being taken in the distant relative , who doesn’t have our mobile numbers, then started calling the hospital demanding details of our child’s prognosis and treatment. Thankfully we had been tipped off very quickly as the relative started contacting other family members ( who themselves weren’t aware of the situation until they themselves contacted us to see what was happening) and were able to request staff to refrain from divulging such. After several failed attempts the relative then turned up at the hospital and demanded access to our child, by which point they were out of surgery. The ward staff asked our 16 yr old ( with us present) if they would like the relative to gain access and our child immediately burst into tears with the thought …the relative is particularly difficult at the best of times and the children try to avoid all contact by their own choice . Thankfully again the staff were able to refuse the relative entry into the ward (Although our child is 16 and should have been in the adult wards a lack of beds had resulted in them being housed in the children’s ward with better security) . Anyway I am sitting stewing about the actions of this initial theatre nurse divulging private medical information to a third party . I know this is a huge breach of confidence and I hope such would be a disciplinary if I was to raise a complaint but I don’t know if I should . The nurse is a friend of the relative hence why she reached out and my family are divided as whether to take action as it will cause trouble within the wider family. Hubby thinks I should just forget it to keep the peace but I think the theatre nurse should be made aware her actions were totally unacceptable. I’ve never complained about anything before . Your thoughts would be appreciated !

OP posts:
BoredZelda · 29/08/2026 10:53

I’m not sure why what your “hubby” thinks about the legal requirement of the NHS to protect a patient’s confidentiality is important, nor why you’d care what he says. This is an absolute no brainer. It’s not an ethical dilemma, the nurse broke the law, of course they should be reported.

DowntonCrabby · 29/08/2026 10:54

Horrifically unprofessional of the nurse.
Yes, I’d definitely complain.

Hope your DC is on the mend Flowers

HamBap · 29/08/2026 10:54

BritishDesiGirl · 29/08/2026 10:33

Yes report it. I had my personal information divulged by a midwife to a, member of my family. I didn't report it and regret it so much.

Similar here. I was young at the time so said nothing, if it happened now I'd hit the roof.

Arriettyborrower · 29/08/2026 10:57

This is so unacceptable and unsafe on so many levels.

i am a senior nurse in management, this would be gross misconduct with strong grounds for dismissal and reportable to the NMC with serious consequences wrt to her registration.

Being 16 adds additional vulnerability here, particularly in view of the fact she would usually have been on an adult ward with less security.. thank goodness she was the children’s ward.

Whatever was the nurses motivation? This speaks so strongly to her integrity and understanding of responsibility and safety.

100% report, this is incredibly unsafe practice.

DidYeAye16 · 29/08/2026 10:58

You need to absolutely put a formal complaint in. That's a huge breach of patient confidentiality. My daughters a nurse and has never ever told me names of patients who we know that have been in and wer a small town, so there will have been many. She needs disciplined not only for what she's put your daughter through but to prevent her doing it again to others.

Arriettyborrower · 29/08/2026 10:58

Posted too soon - your daughter needs to know her personal info and autonomy should be respected and valued above other family members feelings.

NotanNHSnurseanymore · 29/08/2026 10:59

PashaMinaMio · 29/08/2026 10:08

Report her. No questions about it.

Medical confidentiality is to be taken seriously. I’ve worked in that arena and it’s a rule not to be broken. It’s already caused issues for the patient (your daughter) and your close family.

That (gossiping) nurse needs a warning and soon. Just do it.

She should get sacked for that.

I encourage you to report her to the NMC. your poor DD.

NotanNHSnurseanymore · 29/08/2026 11:01

Any1ForTennis · 29/08/2026 10:40

Can you explain what the relationship is? E.g your Mum's cousins child that you don't even know or a bit closer like paternal Granny/Auntie etc?

YANBU to complain but guess it comes down to whether the fallout over one of your relatives being sacked and potentially fined is worth it, would you be happy to accept the damage to probably several family links/relationships (I would!).

Relationship utterly irrelevant.

socks1107 · 29/08/2026 11:03

It’s gross misconduct and yes you should definitely report her

Dollymylove · 29/08/2026 11:05

Im.not in any way medically trained but even i know that its a massive breach of confidentiality. What the hell was this person thinking?

You need to report this because this may not be the first time the person has done it

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 29/08/2026 11:06

Just bear in mind they will.almost certainly lose their job

Laurmolonlabe · 29/08/2026 11:06

Yes, definitely lodge a formal complaint.

MingingRunnersFeet · 29/08/2026 11:06

If you don’t complain and get this woman sacked, I suspect there’s every chance this person will be monitoring your child’s medical records (and possibly your own!) and reporting back. You need to make sure this doesn’t happen again. She 1000% deserves to be sacked and I wouldn’t lose a minute of sleep over that.

Pedant61 · 29/08/2026 11:07

Absolutely. They should lose their job for this. It's unacceptable and unforgivable.

MingingRunnersFeet · 29/08/2026 11:07

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 29/08/2026 11:06

Just bear in mind they will.almost certainly lose their job

Good. They deserve no less.

Bananacrepewithnuts · 29/08/2026 11:09

WorkingItOutAsIGo · 29/08/2026 10:02

Completely unacceptable and you must report it. Otherwise you are allowing them to do it to the next person they know. And it's important that your child knows you've got their back.

God this is awful. I've never heard anything like it. Absolute breach of patient confidentiality and I would be really pissed off.

BippidyBoppety · 29/08/2026 11:09

Want to raise that at no point in the OP's post do they refer to their child as a female. Lots of comments about daughter when it could equally be son. Just saying.

You have a duty, OP, to act on this. It's a serious breach and needs to be addressed. What happens next isn't your business, you are not responsible for the actions of this Nurse, you are not responsible for the consequences.

GeorgeMichaelsCat · 29/08/2026 11:11

I would put in a complaint. Terrible data breach.

NarnianQueen · 29/08/2026 11:12

Why on earth would you want to keep the peace?!?!?

Maisymouse2 · 29/08/2026 11:12

How dare this nurse devolge personal details.
Report her...upsets family that is to bad..did she care when she was texting.no.

MyDeepAmberDog · 29/08/2026 11:13

I used to work in the NHS (in tech - not medical side) and this is outrageous.

During onboarding training there is a HUGE focus on GDPR. We are given various scenarios to reinforce this. For example, if an ambulance arrives at your neighbours and they get taken into hospital and other neighbours know you work in that hospital, possibly even the same ward. If they ask you, "How is X?" you must NOT divulge any info to them. They teach you phrases / ways to deal with this.

I dread to think what else this nurse has been up to. She needs investigating! It is not your fault she is incompetent.

Mammyloveswine · 29/08/2026 11:14

Absolutely complain! This is a diabolical breach of trust and gross misconduct! Medical information is private and this nurse had no right to share your daughter’s information!

Gengha · 29/08/2026 11:15

I really don’t see the dilemma. This is disgusting. The nurse deserves to be struck off

Phoenix1Arisen · 29/08/2026 11:16

I don't see how you can not report what amounts to a crime and it's not a pettyfogging can of coke and a silly teenager level either!

WhosGotTheKeysToMyBimma · 29/08/2026 11:16

Report, not even a question.

What's it got to do with the rest of the family?

Your daughter has had her privacy interrupted and was distressed. End of.

The consequences are for the nurse to bear, she knew it was wrong, she knew it's a gross misconduct offence and she did it anyway.

FAFO.