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Ethical dilemmas
Original poster

Watching 8 month old at wedding on baby monitor?

354 replies

SpudMama321 · 17/07/2025 11:46

Hi all. Looking for advice. We are due to attend a wedding this weekend and our babysitter has pulled out. We are staying in onsite accommodation, but in a different building to the wedding itself which is a 3-5 minute walk away. She usually goes down between 7-8pm and sleeps through.

My question is - do you think one of us needs to stay with her all evening. Or, assuming the WiFi works well, do you think we can watch her on the baby monitor (which is a ring camera with an app on our phone) and go back to the wedding? I just rang the venue to check on the WiFi situation and they said we can't put her to bed and go back to the wedding (her opinion is we shouldn't do this because it's not in the building itself, I think) but I'm not sure I necessarily agree if we have the ring camera and a constant live stream. A 3-5 minute walk is a 2 minute jog for my husband. I am so torn! Will I just get a gut instinct when we arrive whether it's okay or not?

OP posts:
themagicnumberthree · 17/07/2025 14:26

Just take her in the pram / pushchair with baby ear defenders. Did this with my son at 6 months old, he slept soundly through a band and a disco.

Holiday24 · 17/07/2025 14:27

Perhaps my parents were particularly lax then! We were definitely left in hotels rooms on the odd evening while parents went for dinner etc.

I didn't think it was particularly unusual, pre-Madeleine McCann, but could be wrong!

Allseeingallknowing · 17/07/2025 14:28

Samiloff · 17/07/2025 14:26

Could you ask the hotel if they could recommend anyone local who you could pay to sit with your baby and phone you if she woke up? A teenager might be glad of pocket money. It doesn’t need to be anyone with great babysitting experience.

Yes it does need someone with babysitting experience . I wouldn’t leave my baby with an inexperienced stranger!

SigmundinaCafe · 17/07/2025 14:28

Oh hell no!

Terrible idea. Don’t do it.

Allseeingallknowing · 17/07/2025 14:29

Holiday24 · 17/07/2025 14:27

Perhaps my parents were particularly lax then! We were definitely left in hotels rooms on the odd evening while parents went for dinner etc.

I didn't think it was particularly unusual, pre-Madeleine McCann, but could be wrong!

Yes - your parents were lax and neglectful!

Grumpybear33 · 17/07/2025 14:30

Can’t believe you are even asking this question. Of course you can’t leave an 8 month old in a room alone while you go back to the wedding (even if it was the same building!) What if there was a fire?
I wouldn’t leave my 10 YEAR old alone in that situation.

Tryingtoconceivenumber2 · 17/07/2025 14:31

Went to SILs Birthday party when DD was 8 months. Big venue a bit like wedding after party.

We got DD some noise cancelling headphones and she slept from about 8pm until we left at 11.30pm in the pram. She was absolutely fine.

Ellisace · 17/07/2025 14:32

No chance would i risk it, even if i was in the same building. Take it in turns to watch your baby so you can still enjoy the wedding

Horserider5678 · 17/07/2025 14:32

SpudMama321 · 17/07/2025 11:46

Hi all. Looking for advice. We are due to attend a wedding this weekend and our babysitter has pulled out. We are staying in onsite accommodation, but in a different building to the wedding itself which is a 3-5 minute walk away. She usually goes down between 7-8pm and sleeps through.

My question is - do you think one of us needs to stay with her all evening. Or, assuming the WiFi works well, do you think we can watch her on the baby monitor (which is a ring camera with an app on our phone) and go back to the wedding? I just rang the venue to check on the WiFi situation and they said we can't put her to bed and go back to the wedding (her opinion is we shouldn't do this because it's not in the building itself, I think) but I'm not sure I necessarily agree if we have the ring camera and a constant live stream. A 3-5 minute walk is a 2 minute jog for my husband. I am so torn! Will I just get a gut instinct when we arrive whether it's okay or not?

Are you mad? Look what happened to Madeleine McCann! Clearly you feel
attending the evening part of the wedding is more important than your child! I can’t understand how you even think this is acceptable, the hotel have said no they don’t want you to do it!

Sparklesandbananas · 17/07/2025 14:35

Madeline McCann comes to mind. Don’t do it.

IdaGlossop · 17/07/2025 14:35

No way should you leave an eight-month old in a separate building, for all the reasons already stated. Believe me, you wouldn't enjoy the wedding knowing your baby was in a different building.

Jaggy1 · 17/07/2025 14:36

This thread has made me think the woman that wanted to go swimming in the sea isn’t so bad 🤣

S251 · 17/07/2025 14:36

Absolutely not!! I can’t believe your evening considering this. Also actual baby monitors work through a digital signal because they are less likely to be hacked. Using a ring camera isn’t safe and means someone could hack into it easily!!

Kerri44 · 17/07/2025 14:36

I'm a safeguarding officer as part of my local authority role and No.....that's not appropriate at all....alot can happen in 5mins in a different building

ClarasSisters · 17/07/2025 14:37

SpudMama321 · 17/07/2025 14:16

Woahhh, between posting this and just checking the responses we made the decision for my husband to stay at home with DD and I'll go to the wedding alone. Better for both of them given the lack of babysitter and him having to sit with her all evening. However given this has blown up I'd just like to clarify a few things!!! I don't mean leave her for the whole evening.. i'd never contemplate that!! Perhaps I didn't communicate this in my
post and re reading the above I don't think it's clear, but I meant could my partner pop over and watch the first dance for 10 minutes, for example, and then go back over. There are also 52 other family and friends staying there so she wouldn't have been alone at any point.

Anyway thank you for the abuse. I can assure you I am not a neglectful mother, clearly it was a moment of madness for even considering this - but that's all you needed to say, really.

Oh and just to clarify for all the people saying I want to abandon my baby and get pissed, I don't drink alcohol!

Uh huh.

Watching 8 month old at wedding on baby monitor?
Blanknotebook · 17/07/2025 14:42

Sorry but you are not going to win Mother of the Year for even suggesting this as an option. I can’t believe that you are even contemplating it. I would rather miss the wedding than neglect my child.

Theoldestmumintown · 17/07/2025 14:42

NO WAY. There are hundreds of things that could happen. Leaving baby is neglectful. Why can't baby sleep in the pram at the reception??

Baguettesandcheeseforever · 17/07/2025 14:42

@SpudMama321 you do realise this has been picked up straight away and is now all over social media.

BTW your update doesn’t match at all with your original posting. Why would you need a camera if she wouldn’t be alone at any point?

Vevvie · 17/07/2025 14:43

Just take the baby to the venue with you, she’ll sleep in her pram.

Doodledoohowareyou · 17/07/2025 14:44

Step down Kate McCann

Groundhogday2025 · 17/07/2025 14:48

Anxioustealady · 17/07/2025 13:46

I'm 30 and I was left in a hotel room while my parents had dinner downstairs. I wouldn't do it personally but people definitely did it!

Show quote history

There are family friendly hotels that specifically offer baby monitoring services. I wouldn’t feel comfortable leaving mine (especially for a wedding/ party involving alcohol) but it’s situation dependent. Jumping straight to child neglect is a bit harsh given this was the norm until very recently like you say.
I mean technically safe sleep guidelines say you shouldn’t even leave a baby to sleep in a separate room to you at all, even for daytime naps, but come on! Leaving a baby to sleep in their cot whilst you do some housework isn’t child neglect.

ETA: but the whole other building thing is just a no all round for me to be clear.

Qoopwhooping · 17/07/2025 14:49

Don’t do it.

CallMeFlo · 17/07/2025 14:51

I don't think it's clear, but I meant could my partner pop over and watch the first dance for 10 minutes, for example, and then go back over. There are also 52 other family and friends staying there so she wouldn't have been alone at any point

Thats some spectacular back pedalling attempt there 😂😂

Come on, we all read your op. Leaving her for 10 mins was not your plan. Youre just embarrassed at the back lash you got

SusiQ18472638 · 17/07/2025 14:53

No….no you can’t do this 😳

Zoono · 17/07/2025 14:54

SpudMama321 · 17/07/2025 11:46

Hi all. Looking for advice. We are due to attend a wedding this weekend and our babysitter has pulled out. We are staying in onsite accommodation, but in a different building to the wedding itself which is a 3-5 minute walk away. She usually goes down between 7-8pm and sleeps through.

My question is - do you think one of us needs to stay with her all evening. Or, assuming the WiFi works well, do you think we can watch her on the baby monitor (which is a ring camera with an app on our phone) and go back to the wedding? I just rang the venue to check on the WiFi situation and they said we can't put her to bed and go back to the wedding (her opinion is we shouldn't do this because it's not in the building itself, I think) but I'm not sure I necessarily agree if we have the ring camera and a constant live stream. A 3-5 minute walk is a 2 minute jog for my husband. I am so torn! Will I just get a gut instinct when we arrive whether it's okay or not?

I wouldnt. It might sound harsh but as a parent you have to make sacrifices and you should always be in the same building, as your baby. You can't be at the wedding without your baby, if you don't have a babysitter.