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Ethical dilemmas
Original poster

Watching 8 month old at wedding on baby monitor?

354 replies

SpudMama321 · 17/07/2025 11:46

Hi all. Looking for advice. We are due to attend a wedding this weekend and our babysitter has pulled out. We are staying in onsite accommodation, but in a different building to the wedding itself which is a 3-5 minute walk away. She usually goes down between 7-8pm and sleeps through.

My question is - do you think one of us needs to stay with her all evening. Or, assuming the WiFi works well, do you think we can watch her on the baby monitor (which is a ring camera with an app on our phone) and go back to the wedding? I just rang the venue to check on the WiFi situation and they said we can't put her to bed and go back to the wedding (her opinion is we shouldn't do this because it's not in the building itself, I think) but I'm not sure I necessarily agree if we have the ring camera and a constant live stream. A 3-5 minute walk is a 2 minute jog for my husband. I am so torn! Will I just get a gut instinct when we arrive whether it's okay or not?

OP posts:
BluntPlumHam · 17/07/2025 14:12

SpudMama321 · 17/07/2025 11:46

Hi all. Looking for advice. We are due to attend a wedding this weekend and our babysitter has pulled out. We are staying in onsite accommodation, but in a different building to the wedding itself which is a 3-5 minute walk away. She usually goes down between 7-8pm and sleeps through.

My question is - do you think one of us needs to stay with her all evening. Or, assuming the WiFi works well, do you think we can watch her on the baby monitor (which is a ring camera with an app on our phone) and go back to the wedding? I just rang the venue to check on the WiFi situation and they said we can't put her to bed and go back to the wedding (her opinion is we shouldn't do this because it's not in the building itself, I think) but I'm not sure I necessarily agree if we have the ring camera and a constant live stream. A 3-5 minute walk is a 2 minute jog for my husband. I am so torn! Will I just get a gut instinct when we arrive whether it's okay or not?

I’m sorry this is the second or third post I’m reading where people are actually considering leaving their very young children alone, unattended in a building. No, absolutely no. When you have a child their welfare should be at the top of your priority list. Logistically what a nightmare if she does wake up, are you going to keep going back? What if there is a fire, what if you lose connection and like others have suggested are you not the slightest bit concerned re predators/intruders? Most are opportunists and your child is the most precious being ever so why would you even consider chancing it even if the stats of that happening are low.

user1492809438 · 17/07/2025 14:12

It horrifies me you are even asking the question. Either you and your husband tag team [and don't drink] or pull out of attending. Your child should be the most precious thing in the world.

MidnightPatrol · 17/07/2025 14:13

JRM17 · 17/07/2025 14:12

This is a wind up isn't it, because there is no way in hell a real mother would contemplate leaving thier baby alone in a different building. Jamie Bulger, Madeline Mccann. Put the baby in a buggy and just keep her with u.

Jamie Bulger was abducted from a shopping centre, with his mother nearby.

Jamandtoastfortea · 17/07/2025 14:13

you change her and put in pjs so she thinks it’s night. Then put in pram and tske for walk til asleep, then you have pram with you at do. If she wakes you either push pram for a bit, keep her up or tske her to room and tske turns to stay. You do not leave a baby unattended in a separate building no matter how quickly you could get there.

yellowdress34 · 17/07/2025 14:14

Don't be torn. DON'T DO IT.

Julimia · 17/07/2025 14:14

Can't believe you are even asking this. Reassess your values please. Don't even consider leaving baby for even a minute. Take her with you in her pram.

jetlag92 · 17/07/2025 14:15

Just book a sitter through sitters to come to your room, or ask the hotel for a recommendation.

Original poster
SpudMama321 · 17/07/2025 14:16

Woahhh, between posting this and just checking the responses we made the decision for my husband to stay at home with DD and I'll go to the wedding alone. Better for both of them given the lack of babysitter and him having to sit with her all evening. However given this has blown up I'd just like to clarify a few things!!! I don't mean leave her for the whole evening.. i'd never contemplate that!! Perhaps I didn't communicate this in my
post and re reading the above I don't think it's clear, but I meant could my partner pop over and watch the first dance for 10 minutes, for example, and then go back over. There are also 52 other family and friends staying there so she wouldn't have been alone at any point.

Anyway thank you for the abuse. I can assure you I am not a neglectful mother, clearly it was a moment of madness for even considering this - but that's all you needed to say, really.

Oh and just to clarify for all the people saying I want to abandon my baby and get pissed, I don't drink alcohol!

OP posts:
FairyBatman · 17/07/2025 14:16

Put her to sleep in a pushchair / pram. I think it’s too far, especially given it’s in a completely different building.

GreeneryGrass · 17/07/2025 14:18

Is this a troll?

thebluehour · 17/07/2025 14:18

SpudMama321 · 17/07/2025 14:16

Woahhh, between posting this and just checking the responses we made the decision for my husband to stay at home with DD and I'll go to the wedding alone. Better for both of them given the lack of babysitter and him having to sit with her all evening. However given this has blown up I'd just like to clarify a few things!!! I don't mean leave her for the whole evening.. i'd never contemplate that!! Perhaps I didn't communicate this in my
post and re reading the above I don't think it's clear, but I meant could my partner pop over and watch the first dance for 10 minutes, for example, and then go back over. There are also 52 other family and friends staying there so she wouldn't have been alone at any point.

Anyway thank you for the abuse. I can assure you I am not a neglectful mother, clearly it was a moment of madness for even considering this - but that's all you needed to say, really.

Oh and just to clarify for all the people saying I want to abandon my baby and get pissed, I don't drink alcohol!

Did you forget you wrote this:

I just rang the venue to check on the WiFi situation and they said we can't put her to bed and go back to the wedding (her opinion is we shouldn't do this because it's not in the building itself, I think) but I'm not sure I necessarily agree if we have the ring camera and a constant live stream. A 3-5 minute walk is a 2 minute jog for my husband. I am so torn!

Pricelessadvice · 17/07/2025 14:20

Stop backtracking OP. We all know exactly what you meant. Your first post makes it very clear that this wasn’t just a ‘10-minute’ thing!

Digdongdoo · 17/07/2025 14:20

GreeneryGrass · 17/07/2025 14:18

Is this a troll?

Hopefully

zeibesaffron · 17/07/2025 14:21

I am seriously worried about your parenting skills and your understanding of risk! What is wrong with you and your DH? How is any of this ok?

BrandySours · 17/07/2025 14:21

SpudMama321 · 17/07/2025 14:16

Woahhh, between posting this and just checking the responses we made the decision for my husband to stay at home with DD and I'll go to the wedding alone. Better for both of them given the lack of babysitter and him having to sit with her all evening. However given this has blown up I'd just like to clarify a few things!!! I don't mean leave her for the whole evening.. i'd never contemplate that!! Perhaps I didn't communicate this in my
post and re reading the above I don't think it's clear, but I meant could my partner pop over and watch the first dance for 10 minutes, for example, and then go back over. There are also 52 other family and friends staying there so she wouldn't have been alone at any point.

Anyway thank you for the abuse. I can assure you I am not a neglectful mother, clearly it was a moment of madness for even considering this - but that's all you needed to say, really.

Oh and just to clarify for all the people saying I want to abandon my baby and get pissed, I don't drink alcohol!

Unbelievable that your two go-to options are the extremes of either emulating the Portugal scenario or one of you not going at all

Simply take the baby with you and then put it down in the pram to sleep when ready 🤷🏻‍♀️🙄

Lifestooshort6591 · 17/07/2025 14:21

This is totally out of the question, you cannot be serious? I cannot believe this is real.

Twiglets1 · 17/07/2025 14:21

SpudMama321 · 17/07/2025 14:16

Woahhh, between posting this and just checking the responses we made the decision for my husband to stay at home with DD and I'll go to the wedding alone. Better for both of them given the lack of babysitter and him having to sit with her all evening. However given this has blown up I'd just like to clarify a few things!!! I don't mean leave her for the whole evening.. i'd never contemplate that!! Perhaps I didn't communicate this in my
post and re reading the above I don't think it's clear, but I meant could my partner pop over and watch the first dance for 10 minutes, for example, and then go back over. There are also 52 other family and friends staying there so she wouldn't have been alone at any point.

Anyway thank you for the abuse. I can assure you I am not a neglectful mother, clearly it was a moment of madness for even considering this - but that's all you needed to say, really.

Oh and just to clarify for all the people saying I want to abandon my baby and get pissed, I don't drink alcohol!

I would report your own thread so that you can ask MN to get it removed.

Now you've started them off some will be posting the same insults for 40 pages.

Glad you have a new plan anyway.

Specso · 17/07/2025 14:22

You can’t be serious?!

Of course you can’t leave a baby alone in a different building.

Epidote · 17/07/2025 14:22

No, either you take it with you or someone stay. Take turns as someone has suggested.

BrandySours · 17/07/2025 14:23

MidnightPatrol · 17/07/2025 14:13

Jamie Bulger was abducted from a shopping centre, with his mother nearby.

Show quote history

She was literally right next to him 😟

mummybear35 · 17/07/2025 14:24

Nope! Wouldn’t even cross my mind…so many things could go wrong…fire, break in..I’d rather not attend than risk my children! Take turns if really necessary…you go for an hour and then swap with your husband? Please don’t leave your baby…need I say..Madeline McCann??

AlexisAlexis · 17/07/2025 14:25

SpudMama321 · 17/07/2025 11:46

Hi all. Looking for advice. We are due to attend a wedding this weekend and our babysitter has pulled out. We are staying in onsite accommodation, but in a different building to the wedding itself which is a 3-5 minute walk away. She usually goes down between 7-8pm and sleeps through.

My question is - do you think one of us needs to stay with her all evening. Or, assuming the WiFi works well, do you think we can watch her on the baby monitor (which is a ring camera with an app on our phone) and go back to the wedding? I just rang the venue to check on the WiFi situation and they said we can't put her to bed and go back to the wedding (her opinion is we shouldn't do this because it's not in the building itself, I think) but I'm not sure I necessarily agree if we have the ring camera and a constant live stream. A 3-5 minute walk is a 2 minute jog for my husband. I am so torn! Will I just get a gut instinct when we arrive whether it's okay or not?

Are you fucking serious?! Dear god 🤦🏻‍♀️
Who wrote this? Kate McCann???

cloudydays2 · 17/07/2025 14:25

Hardly a moment of madness when you are phoning up the venue to ask about the situation and they are advising against it and you still post on here for advice on it ? If you need to question it twice then it surely isn't right.

YourBrickTiger · 17/07/2025 14:25

Madeleine was my first thought too, but it also brings up the point that other people have obviously seen the McCanns do this (with obviously severe consequences) but they have never been prosecuted. So maybe some people think it's ok.

Please do not do this. It is not ok. And the one time you think nothing will happen, it will. You will at best lose wifi/internet access to your monitor, you will think 'oh I will just have one more drink' or worse case scenario some maniac will have been watching you leave the baby alone or there will be a fire which will separate you from getting to your child. It's a big no.

Samiloff · 17/07/2025 14:26

Could you ask the hotel if they could recommend anyone local who you could pay to sit with your baby and phone you if she woke up? A teenager might be glad of pocket money. It doesn’t need to be anyone with great babysitting experience.