Old men and using the toilet ….?

[jwoo23]

Hello! Looking for advice from any care home workers that can advise on the best cleaning solutions for the gallons of urine that gets deposited around every lavatory in the house when both my elderly father or FIL come to stay!!!!!

They are both from a generation that would balk at the idea of a sit-down wee. Plus they don’t seem to ever even quite make it to the toilet in the middle of the night either, so the trail of urine quite often starts somewhere near the bathroom door! Not helped either by the fact that they both love a few drinks on regular occasion which exacerbates the issue!

I know age will get all of us, so I don’t want to be insensitive, and also, even if I didn’t care about being insensitive, mentioning it to either of these ‘characters’ would be fruitless. They wouldn’t change their ways even if they were initially embarrassed.

They can’t be in the minority? In my mind, therefore, care homes must have copious amounts of urine on the bottom of slippers and trodden in to all carpets?

When they come to stay I feel like I am constantly inspecting and cleaning whole puddles of piss from the seat, under the seat, behind the seat and all over the floor before I can get in and on with my own business. And worse, before I can let the toddler in the bathroom who would be oblivious to putting her hands in it as she climbs onto the toilet trying to be so independent!

Any advice? I have disinfectant and special pee only cleaning cloths stashed in each loo trying to be discrete but would be grateful to know how anyone else or those who work in a care home deal with this. It honestly takes up so much of my time when they’re here!

Thank you!

But the urine would pool on the plastic so op would have to follow him, mopping up! Puppy pads might be better but a lot would be needed to keep replacing, so expensive. Since they are unlikely to comply by sitting to wee, or use pants( which I think is selfish as they must know it’s a problem for OP) I just wouldn’t have them to stay overnight, just have short visits.

Well you’re not going to be happy unless you’ve got two elderly gentlemen who thankfully the op doesn’t want to embarrass or upset being told how they have to urinate or wear puppy pads. Perhaps she can book them in the local kennels when they visit🙄
Failing that they can only visit their adult children and grandchild for short visits and are not allowed to stay overnight
I am not saying the plastic runner and shaving cream is the solution to the op dilemma as I said it might be something to try
You don’t know how far the op’s parents and in laws live short visits might not be practical , you’re also not aware of how her dad or fil feel about the situation it’s something that might come to us all in time who knows.

Meh. I would make them clean it up next time.

And no more visits

Apparently they’re not oblivious to the fact that they are weeing everywhere, yet they won’t help themselves by
accepting helpful suggestions, happy for OP to be constantly cleaning up. That’s what they should be embarrassed about! Peeing everywhere is far more embarrassing and far less dignified than wearing discreet pads or pants and sitting to wee !

Where in my last posts have I said there oblivious to the fact that they are weeing everywhere I can see why you chose your username with all the assumptions you’ve made
Yeah in an ideal world they should be embarrassed enough that the op has to clean it up no they shouldn’t be embarrassed about incontinence I wouldn’t think it’s a condition someone would choose,
How they help themselves over it is their choice not ones that are forced on them
The op asked for suggestions on how to minimise the effects it has on her dealing with it I gave her a couple of if she chooses to implement them that’s her choice
We’re not going to agree on how its dealt with so we’re going to have to agree to disagree

Well I guess the thing is, I don’t know if they’re oblivious? That’s a big part of the frustration! In my eyes, they can’t possibly be oblivious to it, especially when puddles of pee are being left!! And isn’t it a well known thing slash joke with younger men how difficult it is to aim when you can’t always control the flow?! And then poor flow control is obviously exacerbated by alcohol and potential health issues? So if they knew it was a thing when they were young men, my argument would be, how do they not know that these things get worse/trickier as you get older? I’m female and I know this about men’s health concerns so shouldn’t they??!!! We all know about tena lady right? Surely men know themselves they might get prostrate problems, or their reduced mobility to get them to the toilet in time might be an issue, or general old-aged incontinence might creep in. They therefore HAVE to know it’s an issue and in my eyes need to take responsibility for it!!!!!

BUT, certainly my FIL has poor eyesight. So maybe doesn’t see? But I still think that he should just know that perfect aim would be an issue as he gets older, so just SIT THE HELL DOWN!!!! That would help!!!

And I think he knows that incontinence is starting to be a problem for him, so he should be dealing with that himself with appropriate pads etc. He’s always desperate to get to the loo first if we’ve been out and about. And is starting to look for/ask where the nearest toilet is if we’re out.
With him, we’re definitely going to have to be tactful and approach through a healthcare professional. However, he is due a visit to us very soon over Easter, so I may well lose my rag and have to bring it up myself!!!!

With my dear old dad, there’s many more layers I think. I do think he’s aware of it but not all the time. When he’s had a drink, I think he knows he’s not quite making it in time and he’s embarrassed. Nothing in the world will stop that man drinking tho. But that’s another story. And actually, he lives a few hours away from us now and has declined the last few visits and my mum has come alone. He didn’t even come for Christmas. I think he knows things are getting harder for him all round and actually doesn’t want to be a burden. I am slightly more sympathetic to him as he’s not an arrogant person. And has always been fastidiously clean and tidy. His body is letting him down I guess and maybe he doesn’t know how to handle it. But still, a conversation does need to be had, as it’s not fair for my Mum to be cleaning up after him all the time either.

I agree with what your posting and fully understand and sympathise with your frustration also they probably aren’t oblivious to the fact they both have problems but your original post was requesting to know the best cleaning solutions and way to deal hygienically with how your dad and fil inabilty to control their toilet habits which I answered.
Wether you found it helpful I don’t know and how you deal with sorting out the problem and way forward with them is also something you and your husband have to decide you know them better than anyone as they are your family members hopefully it will or has gone well for you both
My replies to the other poster were also trying to get that point across as she found my suggestions futile but her way wouldn’t be mine. I wouldn’t insist they sit on the toilet and wear puppy pads limit their visiting

I found this worked on carpets and got rid of the smell (but still time consuming).

Key Steps for Cleaning Urine

• Blot, Don't Rub: Use paper towels or old rags to absorb fresh urine. Rubbing forces it deeper into carpets or fabrics.
• Vinegar Solution: Mix equal parts white vinegar and water in a spray bottle. The acid breaks down uric acid in the urine.
• Baking Soda Application:Sprinkle a generous amount of baking soda over the damp, vinegared area. It will fizz, helping to lift stains, and then work to deodorize.
• Wait and Vacuum: Allow the mixture to sit for several hours or until completely dry to ensure all odor is absorbed. Vacuum the dry powder thoroughly.

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