Page 10 | Disturbing finds in house clearance

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 05/12/2024 09:45

May I ask why the discovery of these items has you questioning in some way if you were right to feel safe with this person?
When you said "you really would never have thought it. Never felt unsafe with the owner" did you mean that sex toys and books make someone unsafe? Or was it the type or content that had you feeling they weren't the safe person you thought they were?

Cornflakelover · 05/12/2024 09:47

Lockedboxed · 04/12/2024 23:04

It was the number and type of toys. Clearing them was a challenge.

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Was it 750 dildos and the same amount of baby oil 😂

BunnyLake · 05/12/2024 09:47

Belshels · 04/12/2024 23:41

When my dad died at 91, we uncovered a load of hidden magazine pics of women in rubber suits and capes, but he'd stuck photos of my mums head on them.🙈 Omg I was mortified as can't unsee that now. So I definitely get where you are coming from OP!!

I’m not sure if I should have, but that really made me chuckle.

EmmyPankhurst · 05/12/2024 09:48

My brother found out about my mum’s still birth (our sibling) when we cleared her stuff.

This loss happened between me and him. I knew as I vaguely remember it happening (I was 3) and I’d had to stay with GPs for a while etc.

I didn’t realise he didn’t know nor did my Dad. And DBro was pretty upset when he found a scan picture of a baby and then the maths showed it wasn’t either of us.

Showerflowers · 05/12/2024 09:48

My mom and stepfather were not very conventional people to say the least. Some of the things we found after they passed was pretty eye opening. Polaroids I'd rather of not seen lol. But most shocking was a whole load of used needles (former heroin addicts). I never understood why they didn't just dispose of them properly to save us having to see that.

My grandmother stashed nearly a thousand pounds worth of two pound coins into tubes. No idea why. And great grandfather we found that under his stairs he had stocked up tins and packets of non perishable foods. A packed suitcase for himself and a good amount of money. He'd been in a concentration camp in the war and he never did feel safe, we think it was for if he needed to flee bless him.

Gloriia · 05/12/2024 09:53

This would not bother me in the slightest, I hope you haven't shared with anyone irl who knew the person. Everyone should be allowed some privacy.

As a chambermaid years ago I often came across unsavoury finds. One being a massive poo in the bridal suite bed, another being a very well used sanitary pad in the kettle. I've no idea why people who be so revolting

RoseQuail · 05/12/2024 09:54

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noooooooo · 05/12/2024 10:02

healthybychristmas · 05/12/2024 09:17

I wouldn't worry too much about that. When they were first brought out absolutely everyone had one! People were bought them by friends as joke Christmas presents as well as people buying them for other reasons!

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This is enlightening. I found two (one big one small) in my mum and dad’s wardrobe when I was about twenty, which I think would tie in with the timeline you’ve mentioned of them being a comedy gift. My folks were prudish and did their best to pass their hang-ups onto us so tbh it more annoyed me than disturbed me! Pair of hypocrites 😂

Calling · 05/12/2024 10:06

oakleaffy · 05/12/2024 00:51

A few years ago, I bought an old WW1 postcard - the woman in the antiques shop said ''Someone brought some more in, I can't really sell them, would you like them? - it was short messages from the Front {Flanders} , from three Brothers whose Mother lived in a modest terraced house in Bristol.
They spoke of snow, and hardship, and one brother {who had beautiful handwriting in pencil - {they all used pencil} had been injured, and his other brother was trying to go ''up the line'' to find him.
I never found out of the injured brother made it or not.

Such things were saved for decades, then someone found them and wanted rid. Very poignant.

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That is quite a story. 🌸
The Imperial War Museum would like that kind of thing.

funnelfan · 05/12/2024 10:07

DreamTheMoors · 05/12/2024 01:26

I had my dad’s love letters to my mum that he wrote to her during WWII - she kept them in a bundle tied up with a ribbon.
I’ve never read them - I couldn’t.
When she died I thought I’d bury them with her, then what with the emotional toll and planning the funeral, I completely forgot.
Now every time I think about it, it makes me heartsick.
I’ve no idea what to do with them now.

I have a bundle of letters between my great grandparents before they were married, in the 1890s. They died long before I was born so I don’t have the heartsick feeling, but they are fascinating to read as they describe their lives so well, talking about their families and what they are doing. One is a lengthy description of my great grandmothers evening that she had with her sister because great grandfather had to work - they went out, got lost because they took a different route from usual but eventually ended up where they should have been (a magic lantern show). Post was cheap and there were several deliveries through the day, so some are scraps of paper saying “come to tea tonight after work”. The WhatsApp of their days.

Maybe in a similar way your parents letters may be valued by the next generation if you keep them to hand on?

SinisterBumFacedCat · 05/12/2024 10:09

Whilst doing one of many deep cleans and de hoardings on my dads house I found a Cadburys biscuit tin full of dildos and vibrator. I just had to laugh and put it in the bin bag. Dad was there at the time but lost to dementia. The hoarding was so bad, he piled up newspapers and used tissues to waste height in and walked through little valleys to get to his chair. I used to don a homemade hazmat suit to clear it when he would let me. Also hidden under lost cabinets was loads of porn, all women, which was odd because for years Dad insisted he was gay.
My stepfather had the names and phone numbers of Escorts written in his Diary, then carefully tipexed over, but were still very readable, the diary year was during a time when he was with my Mum. When she kept going on about how wonderful he was and how terrible I was I was tempted to tell her, but as she was also in the early stages of dementia I knew it was cruel and pointless.

Dollybantree · 05/12/2024 10:11

Uricon2 · 05/12/2024 09:37

My (very old) great aunt and elderly cousin died within months of each other. When clearing their house, my mother found an Edwardian photo of a very lovely young lady, really beautiful, huge hat, piled up blonde hair, looked sort of familiar. We then remembered that my grandmother (aunts sister) had talked about a photo she'd had taken of her when she was 16, which had mysteriously disappeared decades before..

Showed it to Nan who was nearly 90 and very frail physically but memory wise fine. The explosion was nuclear. "Oh (x) the jealous cat, that's where it went. I knew she'd be behind it!" The photo was sepia but she was able to describe the colour of her suit (navy) and the flowers on the hat (pale blue) the rather grand photography studio where it was taken, even the weather on that day in 1911. (Nan would have been a selfie queen if born 100 years later)

It is a much treasured thing now.

That's hilarious!

Im so glad your dg got to see it again, as well as yourselves.

Slooodie359 · 05/12/2024 10:14

Unsafe word is laughable.

Just don’t look. People have sex lives, private lives.

House clearing. You wear gloves, a face make and carry a bin bag. The stuff goes in the bag and into the trash.

You can’t even be certain it’s his. Maybe he thought it was unsafe and took it from another house or person.
Or curious.

Anyway, was locked up to keep people safe …

Just grow up.

Zinglenibber · 05/12/2024 10:15

Dollybantree · 05/12/2024 09:42

I've just read the tatler article about her. Disgusting that she had to go through that publicly and be labelled "immoral" and have her sex life dragged through the press. Thank god we have no fault divorces nowadays.

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I agree. It must have been devastating for her.

HowMuchShouldBePaid · 05/12/2024 10:18

I was helping to clear a friend's dad's house and was taking things to the tip.

There was a nice looking box that I thought I might keep (she was fine with me keeping things) so I went to empty out the contents into the "skips" .

On seeing the xxl corset , stockings and whip I decided box and all was going in !!!

Hope he had fun with it all!

Chocolatecustardcreamsrule · 05/12/2024 10:21

Many years ago a lovely old chap hadn’t been seen for a few days. It was assisted living so we had a key for times like this. We went in his flat to check he was ok. Every wall was covered in massive posters of Marilyn Monroe but really pornographic ones. Like you couldnt see the wallpaper. Thankfully he was ok and had taken himself off without telling anyone but it made me chuckle because you NEVER would have thought this sweet old fellas flat was like that!

Excourtclerk · 05/12/2024 10:22

HarrietSchulenberg · 04/12/2024 23:38

My dad went into his parents' loft to clear things out after they'd died. He climbed the ladder, lifted the loft hatch, shone a torch inside and nearly passed out when he saw a face staring back at him, glassy eyed and mouth agape. It was a blown up sex doll that my adult cousin, who had lived there recently, had stashed away to "enjoy" while his grandparents were out.
She was not alone up there, in fact ahe had quite a few companions in various states of deflation.
This cued much debate about whether to hand the little vinyl harem back to my cousin and, if so, whether to fully deflate them and hand him a box, or to pump them all up, put some frocks on them and send them round to his new house in a taxi. I thought the application of some hot chilli paste into their orifices beforehand would spice things up a bit more for him.
In the end Dad and his brother decided that this little ready made party would be too thrilling so they popped 'em and put 'em in the bin.
I still think it was a wasted opportunity.

Reading this I couldn't help thinking about the Only Fools and Horses exploding blow up dolls 🤣

Slooodie359 · 05/12/2024 10:24

A persons sex life doesn’t define them.

Likely this person, and many others would also judge you harshly for whatever you think you are “safely” fantasying about when you self pleasure …

WearyAuldWumman · 05/12/2024 10:24

onamatofpea · 05/12/2024 06:29

Crocheted!! 😂

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My late husband ran marathons and half-marathons. He told me that he been getting ribbed at work about the possible effects of the cold. (This was before he met me, but he told me the story.)

He got into work one day to discover that someone had left a knitted, gold lurex willy warmer in his pigeon hole in the staffroom. He had his suspicions, but never got his pal to admit that he was the culprit.

A year after DH died, I was out for lunch with another two widows - including the pal's widow.

I waited until we were having our coffee and then turned to the pal's widow.

"C'mon...admit it...YOU knitted that willy warmer for DH, didn't you? You're not breaking a confidence now..."

"Well...I was generous - I made the large size!"

Cue hysterical laughter from three widows and the other customers in the tea room wondering what the heck was going on.

SerendipityJane · 05/12/2024 10:27

HarrietSchulenberg · Yesterday 23:38

vinyl harem

😂
😂
😂
Take the rest of the week off.

AConstipatedAccountantJustCantBudget · 05/12/2024 10:28

Twiglets1 · 05/12/2024 06:41

I found old wank mags in an elderly relatives flat I was clearing.

It was almost sweet ... they were like museum pieces. All the women still had pubic hair proudly on display.

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I once saw an episode of Dickinson's Real Deal where somebody brought in some jazz mags that had belonged to their father.

They were vintage and relatively tame compared to some of the material out there nowadays, but even so, the DRD camera still shot the goods from very 'careful' angles and none of the usual close-ups like they do when it's jewellery or teddy bears.

The dealer declined to buy them - whether it was because he just didn't want to deal in such a thing or maybe didn't want people seeing him on national TV showing interest and 'acquiring' them?!

They went to auction and made quite a decent amount. For all we know, though, they could have been bought privately at the auction by the dealer in disguise and using a fake name

Kbroughton · 05/12/2024 10:37

This thread has made me think at what stage do I need to get rid of my vibrators so as not to traumatise the kids! I don't want there to be a gap between being able to use them and actual dementia but then I may forget. Oh no, one more worry!!

ItGhoul · 05/12/2024 10:47

As this is in the Elderly Parents topic, are we to assume that the house belonged to a parent? Obviously nobody really wants any kind of insight into their parents' sex life, so I can see why you'd cringe a bit, but that's obviously not your parent's fault, and I think perhaps you're being a bit naive if you think a collection of sex toys or an interest in kinky sex is unusual in general. Everyone has a private life you don't know about.

You really would never have thought it. Never felt unsafe with the owner

I think this is where you're being a bit odd about this, because why on earth would you be even thinking about safety? Why would you even be questioning how safe you felt with someone just because they owned a box of butt plugs or bondage gear? They'd kept those things very private, clearly.

For context, when I was much younger (early 20s) I briefly worked in a sex shop, and I don't mean somewhere like Ann Summers; I mean a proper sex shop that sold all sorts of mad stuff. I promise you that you 'would never have thought it' about 98% of the customers who bought toys and videos etc (we're talking about the days when internet access was far from universal, so VHS tapes and magazines were a big deal). Almost every customer I ever served was just a totally normal, non-creepy person and age was not a factor either; I sold bondage gear to sweet older couples. I get that everyone would rather not know about their relatives' sexual habits but I promise you that it doesn't mean a thing about your relative as a person.

Gloriia · 05/12/2024 10:51

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Oh @Lockedboxed please say you haven't. Surely in death you could have afforded them some privacy and dignity.

chaosmaker · 05/12/2024 10:51

Lockedboxed · 04/12/2024 22:44

Clearing a hoarder’s house is not fun at all but the most disturbing find was locked boxes of all manner of books and sex toys. You really would never have thought it. Never felt unsafe with the owner (until their diagnosis of dementia, but meds keep them calm now).

I can’t unsee it (and I’m trying to be open minded about consenting adults). I think it might help if anyone has solidarity from their own upsetting finds, to make me feel less alone. Please tell me this isn’t the only time this has happened.

(Regular poster but name changed for this as combined my posts would be outing).

Everyone was young once and people go through phases in their lives. Maybe it wasn't even theirs and was there when they moved in.