Ageing parents -- what is 'normal'?

[Ippagoggy]

I'm mostly interested in hearing from people who have parents in the 65-75 age bracket (but any anecdotal advice regarding other ages would be interesting). Out of the following, at this age bracket, how many of these can/could your parents do:

1. cook a meal confidently
2. use a smart phone confidently to send emails, use facebook, send a text message.
3. book a flight for themselves online
4. deal with a customer service issue with, e.g. british gas, phone company, etc.
5. drive a car

Thanks

The family members who fit in that bracket don’t really like cooking for themselves much. More likely to throw a few bits together or make a sandwich but I think it’s because they are over cooking/live alone etc. Driving has stopped for the majority. Using a phone, booking travel, customer service no issues.

My parents are 73 and do all of these things between them. If they were suddenly without the other then they would get by, but my dad wouldn't cook such a variation of meals if it was down to him, and my mum would manage to book a flight but probably take her time as I don't suppose she's done it herself before. My mum doesn't drive, but never has done really and very confident walking everywhere or taking public transport long distance.

First of all that age group isn't old. NHS class over 75s as aging.

So a 70 yr old isn’t old? Isn’t life expectancy of a man 79?

Why are you asking OP?

We are 75 and 80 and can easily do everything on your list and more. DH does complex internet banking for a large organisation on a daily basis. I'm astounded that people in my age group can't do such basic things in the 21st century. Unless they have cognitive loss of function there's no excuse to be dependent on their children for assistance in these areas.

I’m astounded that you think every single 75 yr old and 80 yr old is the same as you and only cognitive loss of function would prevent some doing everything on that list!

My parents both passed away by their mid 70s but could do all of those things, Dad was finding the phone harder to manipulate because of his illness.

In-laws are early 80s and do all of these things regularly including foreign travel. They don’t like driving in the dark or driving for more than about 2 hours now so they usually book transport to and from the airport

Yes. Also. more active, fitter and flexible than me.

My mum is 70 and can do all of those things. My dad is 79 and can cook a meal and is just at the point of not being confident enough to drive any more. He has never been able to any internet/smartphone related stuff, that's all up to mum.

It's not really surprising that there are quite a lot of people in that age bracket who can't do all five things. Figures in the UK suggest that 2 in 10 people over the age of 65 have cognitive impairment (beyond the normal expected for their age) and 1 in 11 have dementia. Some of those will of course still be able to do some of that list, but it's still quite a sobering figure. (NICE also estimate that anywhere between a quarter and three quarters of people with dementia are undiagnosed.)

My parents are 72 and my dad can do all of those.
My mum doesn't use a smartphone but uses her laptop for Facebook, email etc. she also no longer drives but that is due to a car accident that left her without full use of her right hand/arm (which is also why she wouldn't cope with a smartphone). But cognitively would be very able to drive etc.
My parents are very independent and active.

My Mum, who died at 73, could do all of those things.

My Dad, who is 82, can cook, but he wouldn't be able to do the other things now.

FIL, who is 76, would laugh in your face at the mere question! He can do all of those things and more besides. Can walk for miles, lift weights, fix anything in the house, even if ladders are required. Regularly goes on long haul holidays, things like safari's, city breaks that require walking all day, or touring holidays. Drives a top end sports car.

My parents are in that age bracket and can do all those things, only difference is my Dad drives and my Mum has never driven.

My mum is 73 and can do none of the above. It’s a bit of a surprise to hear that isn’t normal. We do wonder if she may be starting with dementia.

How many are things she used to be able to do?

My late mother could do all of those things and she was well into her 80s. She was dubious about online banking but still did it when she absolutely had to. (her contemporaries regarded her as their tech guru 😀)

90-year old dm could do most of that though probably not book a flight and will probably stop driving this year. 85-year old mil can do all except drive - combination of eyesight and mobility issues.

My children's DM 😉 is at the lower end of this bracket and has no difficulty with any of this in fact she's using her smartphone to post on Mumsnet right now.

I'm 66 and can do these things without a problem.

These are criteria for 80+ most 65-75 are completely and utterly the same as 55-65

Although I should add that 2. is not a necessary set of life skills. Facebook is not a thing for 18-40 year olds, WhatsApp as in the stupid family contact group where siblings fall out is not desirable, for example