Ageing parents -- what is 'normal'?

[Ippagoggy]

I'm mostly interested in hearing from people who have parents in the 65-75 age bracket (but any anecdotal advice regarding other ages would be interesting). Out of the following, at this age bracket, how many of these can/could your parents do:

1. cook a meal confidently
2. use a smart phone confidently to send emails, use facebook, send a text message.
3. book a flight for themselves online
4. deal with a customer service issue with, e.g. british gas, phone company, etc.
5. drive a car

Thanks

Odd question really. Most people in that bracket wouldn't consider themselves to be 'aging'. Getting older, definitely, but 'aging' suggests old enough to be losing some of their abilities.

Why do you want to know?

For what it's worth, my DH and I are both nearer 72 than 71 and can and also do all those things you listed no problem at all.

My DParents could do all those, apart from my DMum can't drive. That's not really due to her age though, she has always hated driving and been very nervous. She stopped completely a long time ago. They do sometimes need help with tech, for example when one of them gets a new phone. Neither of them use Facebook but that's just because they don't want to.

Snap! Mines stopped driving at night now is all.

Mine are 69 and 70

1. cook a meal confidently - my mum does every day but my dad’s never been a cook. He’s only been learning in the last few years as my mum is sick of it
2. use a smart phone confidently to send emails, use facebook, send a text message - both do this every day
3. book a flight for themselves online - book numerous holidays and trips every year
4. deal with a customer service issue with, e.g. british gas, phone company, etc. - practically my dads favourite hobby 😃
5. drive a car - both do regularly including long trips and driving abroad

Dad 78

1. cook a meal confidently - mental capacity to do so, but struggles with long periods of standing so in reality doesn't. Does heat up food that is pre-prepared.

2. use a smart phone confidently to send emails, use facebook, send a text message. - can send text message, can email, doesn't use social media. Would need sight aids to do so, prefers to use laptop to do this for that reason.

3. book a flight for themselves online - yes he can, but would need sight aids to do so, but won't as won't travel now

4. deal with a customer service issue with, e.g. british gas, phone company, etc. - struggles with this because of the difficulty communicating with call handlers due to his hearing and gets frustrated waiting, but can do it if required, can pass security. Also would need sight aids to read customer numbers from letters etc.

5. drive a car - no due to his eye sight he cannot drive.

Mum 73

Does them all, but can be a bit naive around online shopping etc and opening attachments from emails.

My mum is nearly 83 and can do all of those things.

My mother is much older than that and lives on her own in the middle of nowhere- she won’t budge. At the age range you quote, she could do 1, 4 and 5. 2- mobile cover is non existent where she is and she barely used her ordinary mobile when she was out. 3, she would never do.

I would imagine most people in that age bracket could do all those things, unless they are disabled or have a significant medical condition.

My parents are late 60's and FIL 70's and we don't have to do anything for them.

My parents are slightly older than the age bracket you’ve said but they can:

1. cook a meal confidently
2. use a smart phone confidently to send emails, use facebook, send a text message.
3. book a flight for themselves online
4. deal with a customer service issue with, e.g. british gas, phone company, etc.
5. drive a car

My parents at the bottom end of the age range can do all those things without a second thought.
PIL up over the top end (76 and 80) could do most with no trouble either but FIL spends a lot of the time on the phone to customer service lines not because there is a genuine problem but because he doesn't understand anything about the world any more. Then he complains about how they were useless. He's also been scammed once or twice (that we know of) for the same reason. He's really the only one I worry about.

The funniest thing dm did (at about 80) was hose a teenage trick or treater who had egged her house when she told him to bugger off.

Then when his mum called the police saying her son had been 'assaulted', she refused to apologise.😂

Suggesting that she might need any kind of help was a tricky business.

I'm really shocked at some of these answers and how some people are incapable of doing normal activities at such young ages. My mother is 86 and doesn't bat an eyelid at doing any of those things. My father died a couple of years ago and would do all those things as a matter of course.
I'm 60 and can't imagine being only 5 years older and not being able to do any of those perfectly day to day things.

My dad is 81 and my mum 76.

Both can cook well but my dad can’t do any of the others. He never drove and is not good with new technology, online stuff etc. He is practical in other ways though.

Mum has always been better at keeping up with technology and is permanently glued to her smartphone and tablet!

My parents are 71 and 73, and can do all
Of those things. My best friend is 75 and still working full time in a very demanding job. But he's knackered and really struggling now. Hopefully retiring in the autumn.

My parents are near the end of your age scale and don't have mobiles or the Internet, they were never interested so obviously couldn't book anything because they would say "I don't know how that works" but can cope with the rest of your list.

I think that the age thing is a red herring. If a person COULD do these things preivously and is now struggling, that's a sign that their aging process is probably a bit faster than others and/or that they've just happy to let others step up.

My parets are way older and can do all of those things easily - my dad's a whiz on his phone now - he even bloody sends GIFs. PIL are at the top end of your age bracket and are starting to struggle with driving (MIL - due to general physical ill health) and neither has ever been particularly competent at technology as ong as I've known them so I don't think their useless with smart phones is related to their age but rather their personalities.

My parents 75+77,
Both cook confidently
Mum can send a text or WhatsApp doesn't have Facebook and doesn't email, dad doesn't even own a mobile and they don't have a laptop/computer.
They never travel abroad. If they want to book a travelodge I have to do it for them.
They deal with customer services themselves, but I get to hear all about it, several times.
Dad drives mum never has.
But they can walk for miles and love a coffee shop or garden centre.

I'm 76, DH is 86, I can do everything on the list, DH no longer drives due to eyesight problems, and he probably wouldn't book a holiday online. Although I can do it, I would prefer to do it via a travel agent.

My sister is 69 and can do all of those things

Have they alwyas been like this, or is this new? So when they were yonger, could they book their own travel?

I'm 62 and DH is 70, and we can both do all of that very easily (and considerably more besides).

My parents and parents in law could do all those things at that age. It was really only when mum turned 80 and dad died that she wanted some more support - but she could still cook, drive, manage her finances.

My aunt is 77 and is CEO of a large customer-facing company. I went to a medical appointment with her and one of the questions was "do you balance your own checkbook?" She manages a multi-million dollar budget. She is thinking of retiring this year though.

I think the previous poster who said the concerning thing is if they could do those things and stopped at age 65 makes a good point.

My dad is 79 and can do all of those except booking flights/ travel - he would use a travel agent

His partner is a bit younger and doesn't drive but would be confident with all those except again would use a travel agent.

Parents are 75 and could do all of those. Mum less confidently because dad always handles the bills and holidays but she’d have the capabilities if she had to

Mum 78. Can do all of those. However is less confident/finds stressful dealing with customer services/sorting tricky issues. Will confidently cook for self, less so for a larger number/formal event. Other relatives in 80s also capable of the above with the exception of uncle who refuses to use a phone for anything but making phone calls.