Ageing parents -- what is 'normal'?

[Ippagoggy]

I'm mostly interested in hearing from people who have parents in the 65-75 age bracket (but any anecdotal advice regarding other ages would be interesting). Out of the following, at this age bracket, how many of these can/could your parents do:

1. cook a meal confidently
2. use a smart phone confidently to send emails, use facebook, send a text message.
3. book a flight for themselves online
4. deal with a customer service issue with, e.g. british gas, phone company, etc.
5. drive a car

Thanks

My DP and DPIL all more or less fall into that bracket. The youngest is 64 and the oldest is 72.

They can all do most of those things perfectly happily.

The only real exceptions are:

My DM doesn't like driving at night but that's because she had an op on her eyes 10 yrs ago (in her 50's) that has left her struggling with glare from headlights at night.

Also my DFIL isn't the best cook, but he's never had to or been interested in doing so, so that has nothing to do with age!

I suspect my DM might not be the most confident booking a flight because my DP's holiday in the UK so have never really needed to. She would be perfectly capable of booking a UK holiday though so I think that kinda covers the point of the question.

I imagine it being a number of years before any of them particularly struggle with any of those. The oldest two of them still regularly holiday in their campervan, from the South coast to the Scottish islands!

They can do all of these things.

My DF is 74.

He can drive...but I'm getting more concerned about his ability to do so. He hugs the white line and sometimes goes over it.

He can cook, but sometimes gets stressed if he's having to focus on more than one thing or if it's a more complicated meal.

He can use his iPhone for fb/messenger but gets confused easily. Often replies to the wrong people etc. Would struggle with new apps, and gets angry/frustrated with his phone most days.

He's in the process of moving and I'm having to guide him/sort out his utilities. No way could he book a flight online.

My father can only do number 1.

I should add that my DF has had/recovered from major illness the last few years, I think it's aged him significantly.

Mine are 71 & 69 and can do all of those without any difficulty at all … they’ve only just retired!

My mum is at the top end of this age bracket, runs her own home, all admin, no problems, but she does not have a smart phone and would struggle with the small type/buttons of one, she also has a little hearing loss.

In every other way, she's absolutely great for her age (indeed any age) and is very active, fit, has great friends, travels abroad, it's just her preferred method of interacting is not through smart phone.

Mum and Dad both 70 and can confidently do all of those. Look after a 3 yr old twice a week and a 3 and 5 year old twice a week in the school holidays and take them out on day trips etc. Edited to add that my Dad still works as an accountant and Mum works in a school as well!

Dh and I are in that age range and can do all of that.

MIL at 74 can do all those things, she's extremely up to date.

DM when she was well cooked all the time and could send a text message. Also drove until she had a stroke.
DF can just about manage a slow cooker casserole from scratch, Pancakes and porridge. Anything else is either ready meals or something like a butchers pie with aunt Bessie potatoes. He had never cooked anything until mum had her stroke. He can't use the internet or send a text. Not that they'd book a flight as the furthest they've been abroad is the Channel Islands. He can make a call on a mobile but he never has it turned on unless he plans on making a call. He drives. He would be more likely to write a letter as he hates using the phone and refuses to wait on hold.

my DPs are only a few years older than MIL but they seem like a different generation. Mil was still working unitl 2014 but mum never really worked and dad has been retired for 20 years. He would never have used the internet anyway. They've only had a tv since mum had her stroke and don't have a computer. So they're very much of a different time.

having said that mum and dad are Silent Generation and Mil is a boomer so maybe that accounts for it 😝

For my parents dad (died at 74) mum is late 60s

1. cook a meal confidently - mum yes absolutely, my dad in the last 6-9 months or so of his life couldn't due to health reasons and difficulty with lung capacity - prior to that he could

2)use a smart phone confidently to send emails, use facebook, send a text message. - mum yes (only thing she won't do is internet banking - shopping yes, banking no), dad would have gone on the computer to email as he very rarely used his phone, he could text etc though - and he didn't use social media

3)book a flight for themselves online - yes, dad wouldn't have for the last 3-4 years, but that was because he wasn't well enough to go on the trip

4)deal with a customer service issue with, e.g. british gas, phone company, etc. - yes absolutely -

5. Drive a car - mum yes, dad gave up driving about 1 year before he died, again due to health reasons and for a year or so before that he tended to mainly drive for short trips, whereas when younger he would have done the vast majority of the driving

It's a shame OP hasn't been back, but I imagine they are interested due to something about their own parents.
So some posters saying it's an odd question, or being sarcastic are a bit harsh I think.
Perhaps OP is concerned about dementia if parents aren't managing things. Or perhaps parents are saying they are 'too old' to do these things and so OP is raising an eyebrow.
Either way, by asking the question, OP is getting answers.
Hope you're ok @Ippagoggy

When mine were between those ages 1, 4 and 5
DF could use a phone and send a text msg but not the other features of a smart phone or anything internet related. DM refused to even use a mobile phone but if you sat with her could use the internet.
I think it was a confidence thing for both of them. They did not grow up with technology and found it difficult to understand.

To add context, my mum could do all those things until she was in her eighties, although her frailty now would make flying very uncomfortable. She is now finding a lot of things a great deal more complicated, and requires quite a lot of support.
She struggles to work her TV, no longer drives, loses things constantly and tends to accidentally bulk buy online orders. She can send excellent WhatsApp messages and uses FB, and she's still a really good cook.

My parents can do all those things. I think there's a perception of older people and technology that doesn't take into account the fact that the people who introduced and normalised IT in workplaces in the 80s and 90s are in that age bracket now. My dad's a retired developer, my parents have had internet at home since the days of dial up - they didn't forget all thay when their pension payments started to arrive.

I appreciate there will be people who never needed to use computers at work but anyone aged 65 now who can't send an email has still chosen, at a much younger age, to close themselves off from a huge aspect of mainstream society.

Mum, 78

1. Cook - yes
2. Smartphone - yes
3. Book a flight online - she doesn't as they haven't flown for years but pretty sure she could if she wanted to
4. Deal with a customer service issue - yes, but Dad normally deals with this sort of thing
5. Drive a car - yes, locally only (but has only ever driven locally)

Dad, 79

1. Cook - no, has never cooked (very old fashioned marriage, mum does all the cooking - I do worry about what will happen if she goes first)
2. Smartphone - no, he struggles with smartphones. Can do the basics but prefers to use PC for emails, internet etc
3. Book a flight online - he doesn't but could (books all holidays online)
4. Deal with a customer service issue - yes
5. Drive a car - yes, drives down to Spain, all over the UK. Though has slowed down and I wonder how long he should be doing this.

are you me??

My df is 75 and could easily do all of those things (and does them regularly )

Yes, why do you want to know @Ippagoggy?
People vary so there's no average decline, and their abilities will depend on previous experience, necessity, interest etc. Like anyone else.

My mum is 80 and can do all those things. My Dad could have done up until about 75 but then his Parkinson's got worse and he lost a lot of skills.

DH is in this age bracket, he can do all of these with ease.

My parents are now 72 and 76 (and still working as respite foster carers) - they can -

1. cook a meal confidently. - both mum and Dad.
2. use a smart phone confidently to send emails, use facebook, send a text message. - mum yes to all, Dad, no, only texting and calls, he is rubbish with emails and doesn’t do sócial media.

1. book a flight for themselves online - probably not. Mum can search for things online but is hesitant to book big things like a flight on her own and would ask for support. Dad - no, he hates internet.
3. deal with a customer service issue with, e.g. british gas, phone company, etc. Mum yes, Dad - probably not, because mum has always done those things.
4. drive a car - yes to both, although mum is driving a lot less now due to a health issue. Dad still driving without concerns.

My mum is 84:

1. cook a meal confidently - yes certainly, though she was never a cook
2. use a smart phone confidently to send emails, use facebook, send a text message - definitely
3. book a flight for themselves online- yes, but she would ask for my help to check it's ok
4. deal with a customer service issue with, e.g. british gas, phone company, etc.- same as 3.
5. drive a car - no, she gave up a few years ago.

All of those things easily. My dad did a postgraduate diploma at 65 and was still working at 74 in a high profile consultancy role. He’s still not completely retired at 75.

My mum is less confident with tech and lets my dad do a lot of things but if she needed to she could do it fine. She is almost 75. She sometimes gets in a pickle with her smartphone and she prefers to visit the bank in person still (she was a bank cashier).

My parents and PIL are all dead, but I have an 84-year-old neighbour who can do all that and loves her tech. In fact only a couple of weeks ago she came round and set up my new printer for me when I couldn't get Bluetooth to connect. She also showed me how to unpin some messages that I'd accidentally pinned on my phone. She's 25 years older than me.