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Elderly parents
Original poster

My dad has come to my house to die..

174 replies

KitsyWitsy · 14/07/2024 22:21

Gave me his will and deeds to his house earlier. Came on Tuesday after ringing me asking to come get him. He is frail and deteriorating but I don’t know that he is actually dying. I do know that he can’t really go home anymore. He needs to be with me and he is currently staying in my bedroom which is on the ground floor next to the downstairs toilet which is perfect. I am on the sofa bed and don’t mind at all.

I guess I just wanted to ask if anyone has any advice for me? I don’t know what to do really other than take care of him. He doesn’t want to see a doctor or anything and doesn’t have any particular symptoms of anything. He’s just wobbly and frail.

I have three disabled children so my hands were already full. Just a bit stressed out really. He just had a little fall earlier and it’s not going to be the last one the way he’s going.

OP posts:
CascaChan · 07/08/2024 19:20

He needs to see a doctor. It’s difficult to die @KitsyWitsy, I have watched both my parents die and it was fucking horrible, they seemed to suffer despite medical care being in place. It’s quite a drawn out process, and in active dying all sorts of cognitive and physical things happen. You both need support to make things easier.
All the best x

NewGreenDuck · 07/08/2024 19:25

@CascaChan please read the update. He has passed away in hospital.

Furrydogmum · 07/08/2024 19:32

I'm so sorry, you've been a fabulous daughter x

Whatonearth2021 · 07/08/2024 19:34

I just came across your thread OP and am in a similar position with my DF who is living with us. I am so very sorry to read your last update. I hope you can draw comfort from the fact that you were the person he came home to at the end and that you did everything you could for him. You sound like an amazing daughter.

Northernlights100 · 07/08/2024 19:42

Sending hugs

WhysEverythingABallAche · 07/08/2024 19:48

I’m really sorry OP. My dad is the same age, and my mum died in the 90’s too. I know what it’s like to be there for each other.

He asked to come to you, to spend what he knew where his last days, he loved you and knew you’d be there to support him when he passed over.

You are a great daughter. Even though it’s sad he’s gone, take comfort in that you were there for him, and he knew it, and you’ve helped him pass with love and dignity.

Loads of hugs to you.

Willmafrockfit · 07/08/2024 19:59

so sorry Flowers

Rowgtfc72 · 07/08/2024 20:29

So sorry x

frazzledbutcalm · 07/08/2024 21:21

Ah I’m so sorry OP …. you’ve given your dad the best, loving, peaceful end, he knew he was truly loved.

Laffydaffy · 07/08/2024 21:45

💐

Ephe17 · 07/08/2024 21:47

I've not posted here for years, but I had to respond to your thread.

I am so so sorry for your loss.

Please please be thankful that your dad knew his time was coming, that he chose to be with you and his suffering was relatively short.

In early 2022 my 85yo dad went into hospital for routine work. All was well, he was due home the next morning. Work pressures meant I'd not seen him in 10 days. The next morning I got a call saying they were doing CPR on dad, I drove with my teen to go see him. On the drive in, we got a call saying he had passed away. We never got a chance to tell him how much we loved him, or to say our good byes.

I'm just posting this to say take heart, you had time with your lovely dad to say you loved him and say your good byes.

To this day I'd give anything for a minute, 30 seconds to tell him how much he meant to me, how much I loved him.

Once again I'm so so sorry for your loss. He seems like he was a wonderful father and you a very loving daughter. xx

bluefoxcub · 07/08/2024 22:13

So sorry for your loss.

Vikina · 07/08/2024 22:18

I hadn't seen this thread until now. I'm so sorry.

Towerofsong · 07/08/2024 22:42

I am so very sorry for your loss.

But what a peaceful way to go...to know it's your time, have a chance to put affairs in order and to go home to spend time with your daughter.

Rest up and look after yourself, and know that he would have felt so very loved x

VerityUnreasonble · 07/08/2024 22:56

I'm so sorry Kitsy. You've done everything you could do for him, he obviously came to you knowing you would take great care of him and you have. Now you have to take great care of yourself too. Gentle hugs.

Diamondglintsonsnow · 07/08/2024 23:00

I’m so sorry about your dad, I can only hope that I can be half the support to my dad that you have gave to your dad at the end xx what a wonderful life to be able to come to you and be safe and loved xx

StormsAreNeverNamedAfterMe · 08/08/2024 06:42

I am so sorry for your loss

Fleetheart · 08/08/2024 07:32

Rest in Peace your lovely Dad. He knew he was on the way when he came to your house. What a difficult few weeks for you both. I’m so sorry.

Weenurse · 08/08/2024 09:02

So sorry 💐

peebles32 · 08/08/2024 21:22

So sorry. Thinking of you x

NewspaperTaxis · 13/08/2024 19:39

I was sorry to read this. What a top bloke however to know his end was near and to get in touch and make things right in a way. That all could have gone a lot worse, there are other scenarios that would have been far worse - but of course, knowing all that still goes in a different compartment to the one in which someone you loved has now gone.

HelloMyNameIsElderSmurf · 13/08/2024 20:54

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss @KitsyWitsy, you've done an amazing job caring for him over these past few weeks and should be very proud of yourself. May you walk in the light of your memories.

winewolfhowls · 14/08/2024 17:33

So sorry for your loss.

SockFluffInTheBath · 14/08/2024 22:23

I’m so sorry kitsy. How loved he must have felt x

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