My dad has come to my house to die..

[KitsyWitsy]

Gave me his will and deeds to his house earlier. Came on Tuesday after ringing me asking to come get him. He is frail and deteriorating but I don’t know that he is actually dying. I do know that he can’t really go home anymore. He needs to be with me and he is currently staying in my bedroom which is on the ground floor next to the downstairs toilet which is perfect. I am on the sofa bed and don’t mind at all.

I guess I just wanted to ask if anyone has any advice for me? I don’t know what to do really other than take care of him. He doesn’t want to see a doctor or anything and doesn’t have any particular symptoms of anything. He’s just wobbly and frail.

I have three disabled children so my hands were already full. Just a bit stressed out really. He just had a little fall earlier and it’s not going to be the last one the way he’s going.

This sounds so awful. I'm surprised they haven't given him a catheter and that they're not treating the sepsis.
How is he today? And how are you?

I hope you’re doing ok x

Yes I can see why they don’t think it’s in his best interests, I hope you get a catheter for him though.

I'm in ICU waiting for him to pass.

Just sent my family away so I'm on my own for a little bit. My dad is not really with us. Keeps talking nonsense. It's so hard. Trying not to cry in front of him.

Oh love 😢 it's ok to cry, don't try to hide your tears. Hope he calms so you can sit and hold his hand and tell him you love him. Thinking of you at this most difficult time 💐

So sorry. I'm glad you get to be with him. May his passing be peaceful.

I'm so sorry. I hope his passing is peaceful. You have done all you could, and more. He knows that you love him and he loves you. At the end, that is what matters.

Talk to him if you can. About your mum or your siblings or happy days at the beach / park when you were all children. It doesn’t have to be profound .

He will be comforted by your voice. Hearing is one of the last senses to go.

Or play him some of his favourite music on your phone , songs he liked when he was younger ( if you are allowed to do this in ICU).

You are a good daughter and you’ve done your best for him.

Oh I'm so sorry this reached this stage so quickly. I want to ask how you are but that's a silly question. Here for you 🖤✝️

Sending a huge hug, I’m so sad you are losing your dad, it’s sounds like he was one of the good ones x

Thinking about you & you lovely dad OP. The love between you both is the stand out thing on this thread.
He knew and he came to you & you have done your absolute best for him. Xx

Oh bless you. It's so hard seeing a parent like that. It's the sepsis infection that is making him seem not with it and talking nonsense. But it's very hard to see them suffer like this. Hope you're doing ok

He's still with us.

To top it off I'm in Hull and we're having to deal with road closures and things due to rioting. There's talk of more this afternoon as well. I hope not.

My dad is comfortable and hanging on. He hasn't spoken since about 6pm yesterday when he said he didn't think he was going to make it. :(

Also the care he has received has been absolutely amazing. And they are looking after us too with cups of tea etc. it's such a comfort.

Ive had dealings with hull royal and castle hill. Couldn't fault the care in either.
Sending you good thoughts from the other side of the bridge.

So glad you're being looked after.

Just wanted to say you, your dad and your family have been in my thoughts today. 💐

Sending love to you. You and your dad are in my thoughts.
I'm from Hull too so understand your worry after the last day of chaos in the city.

Thinking of you x

Thinking of you today xx from my experience Hull infirmary is excellent for care and treatment. Hopefully your Dad is getting that care xx

Thinking of you and your Dad xx

My dad is still with us. The palliative care nurse said it could be a week or so! Even though he is having no fluids or anything. Just because he is just lying there doing nothing.

We have maintained a vigil up until now but I have come home today and going forward I plan to just go down there when I can. I have been feeling so ill living off Tesco meal deals and sleeping in chairs. I can’t keep on. I want to be there when he passes but he wouldn’t want me getting poorly.

:(

As I've said, you have done everything you could and more. He might pass away when you aren't there, because I find lots of people seem to do that. Take care of yourself now. Sending hugs.

Thinking of you and your Dad. Thanks for the update, I had logged in to see if there was one. Sending gentle and supportive thoughts

Sorry to say that often at the point a close relative 'lets go' and leaves the room, that is when they might be liable to pass away. For some, it's a personal thing - not everyone dies with their close family all around, or wants to.

I'm afraid Epsom General Hospital's idea of end-of-life care is a tad proactive - they don't let them last more than three days, it seems, if they're deemed past a certain point. I hope it's not the same in Hull.