Why do they refuse to take their shoes off?

[SparkleFly]

What is it with the older generation, that they absolutely hate taking their shoes off in people's houses? My parents are late 70's and never take theirs off, if I suggest it they look uncomfortable and just ignore me. Same with MIL who will occasionally do an awkward check of the soles of her shoes before carrying on through my house wearing them. My 4 year old has been brought up to always remove them in our house or anyone else's, so he'll occasionally ask me why nanny doesn't take hers off, which is difficult to explain, giving that the real reason is that they don't give a sh**

Seriously though, what's with the lack of respect, especially when they can see everyone else doing it.

Wearing shoes indoors is disgusting/unhygienic!..why would you want to drag filth from outside all around your home.

Nobody who comes to my house ever offers to, nor would I ask them to remove their shoes. Where I live it just doesn't seem to be a thing.

I’m with Royston! It’s just ‘not a thing’ for many people.

Styles of footwear play a part here.

Itiswhat - is it though? Do you eat off your floors or lick your carpets? If my shoes are filthy I swap them for clean ones and clean the shoes! And I clean the floors occasionally.

I HATE taking my shoes of in other peoples houses. I do it if requested or if it’s very obvious that that’s what they do or for cultural reasons. But I hate it.
My feet are always cold and it’s just makes me uncomfortable.
My parents were a shoes on house. My in laws always take theirs off.
Maybe of a generation where floors were more likely to be Lino or wood - cold and easily cleaned!

You have very little insight into your own parents limitations OP. My parents are also in their 70's. My dad needs a knee replacement and has to use a long handled shoehorn. My mum has feet issues, like a lot of elderly and wouldn't want anyone seeing them, plus she has spinal issues making it difficult anyway. Do you seriously not realise the body ages and simple tasks become very difficult in old age?

Because they are old and stiff and creaky and in pain. Have some compassion for goodness sake.

Were a shoes off household - a habit strictly instilled by my own parents. They still take theirs off at home, but complain about doing it at my house. There are stairs to sit on in the hallway, they don’t even need to use the stairs to sit to do it at home as they’re fit and healthy. But somehow, after years of constant tellings off when I was growing up if I so much had a half cm over the front doormat, they don’t hold the same regard for my floors 🤷‍♀️

My DF has a quarter of his foot missing (result of diabetes!). His shoes are specially made. It takes him 10 minutes plus to get his shoes on.

I never take my shoes off and don’t expect anybody else to do so. The only rule I have is no riding boots on inside the house.

It takes my dad ages to get his shoes on in the morning

older people often struggle with balance too, arthritic hands, struggle to bend over etc. Also harder to walk without supportive shoes.

you sound incredibly unsympathetic towards your elderly visitors

I'm 34 and struggle to take shoes off and on. I have to sit down unless they're slip on.

I take my shoes off in my house but don't expect anyone else to.

It does make sense as a historical legacy. Wealthy people in big (probably cold) houses, doing lots of entertaining and with staff would have worn shoes. I can’t imagine barefoot Downtown Abbey.

Poorer people in smaller houses without staff would have had to keep their floors clean themselves. And when they were able to upgrade to carpets would understandably have been very proud of them and treated them with care.

What??????

I'm intrigued about the class thing.
Growing up in the 1980s/90s I don't remember going anywhere where I was requested to take off my shoes, even my aunties house which was quite "posh".
I went to a wide variety of homes, from council flats to a "Lady's" house and all manner of bog standard private and social housing in between, so I'm pretty sure most backgrounds were covered!

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Buy some shoe covers you can chuck in the machine

Given that every human who you let into your house has 39 Trillion bacteria living in or on them, I wouldn't get too excited about a few extra on their shoes
unless they are obviously muddy or have dog poo on them

We are a shoes off house and the only people that have a problem with it are my parents, my SIL also complains about them. The amount of dirt if we kept our shoes on would be stupid why would I want to clean all the time?

I think this is highly unlikely to be anything to do with it

I grew up in a very small working class house in the 70s and removing shoes just was not a thing, it didnt exist

I prefer people to remove their shoes inside the house but wouldnt insist on it. I walk barefoot in my house so I dont like the idea Im walking on floors that shoes have walked on. I had to train my OH into wearing slippers and not indoor shoes, he will still go blithly around the garden in his slippers

On the other hand I dont like going barefoot in other peoples houses because I dont know what I'll tread on.

My dad thinks its hilarious that he removes his shoes and puts on slippers when they used to visit (too old now), it certainly wasnt a thing in the 30s when he was born

Because diabetic neuropathy means any little bits of grit, a protruding carpet tack, a splinter, something dropped on the floor won't be felt when it's trodden on. And then they could put their shoes back on and push it into their foot to cause severe wounding and infection. Because they might not feel something that'll cut their foot. Diabetes means impaired healing. It means impaired resistance to infection getting in through a tiny scratch. It means an increased risk of bacterial colonisation on the skin.

It means they could lose their toes, their foot, their leg or even their life. Yes, just from one incidence of walking into somebody's home and having to take their shoes off.

I don't have to like my best mate walking in wearing his trainers. But it's that or pose an additional significant risk to him by being all fussy about it. And no, by the time he's in the door, there isn't a place for a bench, chairs or a basket of slippers. As he can't properly feel his feet, he'd also be likely to fall over - particularly as he's also partially sighted.

I treat as though I'd be saying 'you can't use your disgusting outside wheelchair or crutches in my house because nobody else does' - which would make me a total dick.

My parents don't take off their shoes in the house. They wear shoes all day in their own house, and anyone else's. Not because they are old and can't take them off or put them on, but because that was the way they were brought up.

It's not a "not giving a shit" thing, it's a "not on their radar" thing. People insisting that you take your shoes off at the doorstep is a very modern notion.

I expect everyone to take their shoes off in our house. I don’t want dog poo, chewing gum and all the other disgusting dirt from the streets (or public toilets) ground into
my carpets and flooring, thank you 😊

The classic Mumsnet “shoes off” threads have taken a step up, insisting that elderly people do this.

We take our shoes off and put on slippers as a protection for carpets and floors but I don't expect visitors to do so and if I have visitors that I don't know very well or that are older or frail I keep my shoes on so as not to discomfort them. To be fair, we have a dog , so expecting people to be strict about shoes would be somewhat hypocritical. Overall it is a cultural thing. I wasn't brought up taking shoes off but have no problem if I go to someone's house if they have somewhere to sit and slippers to put on. I find it a bit mad where there are hard floors.