Why do they refuse to take their shoes off?

[SparkleFly]

What is it with the older generation, that they absolutely hate taking their shoes off in people's houses? My parents are late 70's and never take theirs off, if I suggest it they look uncomfortable and just ignore me. Same with MIL who will occasionally do an awkward check of the soles of her shoes before carrying on through my house wearing them. My 4 year old has been brought up to always remove them in our house or anyone else's, so he'll occasionally ask me why nanny doesn't take hers off, which is difficult to explain, giving that the real reason is that they don't give a sh**

Seriously though, what's with the lack of respect, especially when they can see everyone else doing it.

God, I cannot believe your expecting your parents to take them off well into their 70s! We are a no shoe household, but I wouldn't ask it of elderly people, even those that are fitter. It is a lot for them, i'd be more bothered about getting them a drink.
Be grateful they're alive. I'd love my deceased parent who died younger than yours to visit me with shoes on or not!!

Some people worry about foot odour.

So many possibilities!

You can encourage people to remove their shoes by having a rack by the door with space for guest shoes, provide guest slippers and a comfortable place to sit down to take shoes off and put them on. But it is rude to insist on shoe removal unless they are obviously soiled.

I think it is rude to insist it for the elderly and disabled, but not otherwise. I think it is rude not to remove your shoes in a no shoes household. Even if they look clean, they've been outside. You respect the rules of the house you're visiting. I don't agree with the op here, her poor parents!

When I had plantar fasciitis I took a pair of shoes with me that had not been worn outside ever to other people’s houses. Can you ask for a chair if you have difficulty balancing on one leg.

That made me laugh 😝 Some people really need to unclench.

If my shoes are muddy or wet I take them off. If not I leave them on. I think it's extremely rude to ask people to remove their shoes.

On behalf of fellow 70 year olds who struggle due to joint and back problems can I ask if you have a long handled shoe horn. Yes? Now take it and shove it where the sun don’t shine 😆

Typical OP hasn't come back.

Does that raising and twirling fist in a circle thing while going whoohooo! You go girl! I'm with you. Any stuck up Hyacinth asks me to their house and then tells me to remove my shoes will get a 'go fuck yourself!' from me. Of course, I don't have or would even associate with such self-absorbed superficial vain shallow people like that in my life in the first place, my values are higher than that but still....

Haha

Seriously though, have any indoor shoe wearers gone to Japan and insisted on keeping shoes on? In people’s homes?

I am really interested in what reaction you received, as I know they are incredibly polite and would never confront you, but also many Japanese regard foreigners as somewhat uncouth.

When you go to someone’s house in Japan, do they offer sleepers instead?

If you want to compare, you need to look at the whole picture, not just the bit that you like.

I actually looked on Google to see what was usual. And the usual is to offer sleepers to their guests. There is even a special pair of sleepers for the loo apparently.

You mean slippers? Yes, there are slippers but if you’re old do you think having slippers helps the joints and flexibility aspect somehow?

Are you the sort of person who tuts at people with invisible disabilities using facilities they are entitled to use?

Most reasonable people will take their cue from your neat row of shoes by the door and will ask if they need to remove their shoes if they are not sure.

You can of course smile and say to people who aren’t elderly or obviously disabled,

”We are a shoes off house.”

But it’s still rude to insist that an adult removes their shoes because some disabilities / foot / joint / balance problems are not obvious to others.

You have twisted what I have said. I am talking about people you know well, strangers don't come to my home, just close family and friends. The op is talking about her own parents. The thread isn't based about an incident with the disabled toilet in the middle of asda!
And yes I am fully aware of hidden disabilities considering my child, and I both have one! Don't be so quick to project your own narrative onto others, and judge. That was totally not what I meant, and it doesn't even read that way whatsoever.
You need to read people's comments properly, what you have said is offensive, and overblown.

Not to mention people very conscious of e.g. bunions. My Dm would have hated having to take her shoes off for this reason, but luckily none of our friends/family are or were shoes-off fanatics.

👏😂😂

The idea of shared slippers is unhygienic and repulsive.

I would hate to shuffle around on you precious flooring in slippers of multiple occupancy.

https://nhssomerset.nhs.uk/news/sloppy-slippers-somerset-roadshow-launches-december-2023-march-2024/

Better tell everyone in Japan. You know, the nation famous for their lack of hygiene….

Jesus, bloody Japan again

Who cares what they do in Japan.

I personally dont put on shoes worn by someone else, Japan or elsewhere!

I don't like it either. I always offer, when I go to someone's house, but an always glad when they say no.

I think it's really rude to ask ppl to take their shoes off in my house, and I'd certainly never DREAM of asking an old person to do that

It’s really irrelevant what other countries do - different countries have different norms. Do you think in countries where people aren’t constantly saying sorry (“Sorry” as you do the pavement sidestep dance,” sorry, can you pass the butter”, “sorry but chicken I’ve just ordered is half raw) go round grumbling “In England people say sorry so you should too. “.

Apparently in Japan kids clean their own schools at the end of the day - that is an idea I like!

It’s not irrelevant when making sweeping statements about people’s customs calling them “unhygienic and repulsive.”

But no one is saying that about Japanese people. We are saying that in this country lots of people find bare feet repulsive. And it is unhygienic to share slippers, that’s a fact, not a judgment on a culture - you really wouldn’t want my athletes foot fungal spores I’m your slippers.