Why do they refuse to take their shoes off?

[SparkleFly]

What is it with the older generation, that they absolutely hate taking their shoes off in people's houses? My parents are late 70's and never take theirs off, if I suggest it they look uncomfortable and just ignore me. Same with MIL who will occasionally do an awkward check of the soles of her shoes before carrying on through my house wearing them. My 4 year old has been brought up to always remove them in our house or anyone else's, so he'll occasionally ask me why nanny doesn't take hers off, which is difficult to explain, giving that the real reason is that they don't give a sh**

Seriously though, what's with the lack of respect, especially when they can see everyone else doing it.

It's not generation based. It's whether you are a shoe off or shoe on household. We never wear shoes in the house and the kids naturally have their shoes off the second we get in to someone's house, it's second nature to them. My DP and DB walk about with shoes on in their house at all times and only take them off to go to bed. I can't say their carpet is dirty, it's clean so perhaps my attitude is unreasonable but I do notice people who don't remove their shoes and would never say but it feels quite rude for some reason. If I've ever entered someone's home in a work capacity we as a policy are not supposed to remove shoes (need to be able to run out if things go wrong and need to minimise risk of potential exposure) and it just feels so unnatural to me and rude.

I'd be really annoyed with you if you made my elderly relatives take their shoes off. It's seriously rude.

Like others, I wouldn't be in a hurry to return to somewhere I was made to feel less important than a floor.

Go visit Japan and see how your attitude fits there. Shoes are filthy and my house, my rules.

You’re the one being rude.

These kinda posts have been done to death
But

We take our shoes off, and we expect everyone to take their shoes off too.

If they dont want to, they are more than welcome to use the disposable shoe covers that are at the door or leave

When new carpets were laid, we had various people in, like Sky and British gas.
We asked them to put shoe covers on, And still do if for whatever reason we need a contractor,
Every single one of them, had their own shoe covers with them in their van

We have grey carpets and dont want outside dirt inside my house !

Would you take them off if you were asked too?

I've created a home where I don't have to make people take their shoes off especially those who would find it difficult bending and stretching. The whole of downstairs is wood flooring or tile. Infact they would probably find it more uncomfortable to walk on it if they did remove their shoes.

When daughters friends visit they usually all pile upstairs so they do remove their shoes as it's carpet upstairs.

I have had a double knee replacement and definitely feel unstable without shoes with a firm, flat sole and support over the arch. I can't wear slippers, etc.

In my hale days of yore, I used to always wander around barefoot. Now I put on, and fasten, shoes to go five metres to the toilet in the middle of the knight.

My DM is 84 and takes slippers everywhere.

That’s a bit of a sweeping statement isn’t it? The parts of Asia where I’ve visited has been mixed, but really I only go to touristy places so can’t comment on their homes. I can imagine that in places like Thailand though, where lots of people wear sliders / flip flops or similar slip on shoes, it’s far easier to take them on and off when going indoors.

Well this is a novel approach to old people bashing. 🤔

I have Reynauds. Unless you have underfloor heating and it’s actually on - or it’s the middle of a blazing summer - my shoes would stay on in your house.

My Father - in his 70s - would be simply unable to remove his shoes. He’s not at all steady without the inserts. He also can’t bend to remove them or get them back on.

DH is ND and would not wish to remove shoes.

How about offering some over shoe covers when they come over? I always make sure visitors either take shoes off or wear these when they come over. I hate the thought of whatever people have walked through making its way into my clean home.

The taking off, putting on is definitely more difficult. I've always taken shoes off, as has my family. We lived where it was very wet and rainy year round, with snow and ice in winter. We had an area to take them off, and slippers. My friend has slippers, clean and disinfected, for guests that do take them off. I'd say 90% of the homes I visit have a .at for shoes at the door and I'm in my 60s. I also hate shoes and have less pain not wearing them.

Difficulty with getting them back on, and off, poorer balance. And socks are slippy with no grips on the bottom, if stairs are involved more risk of going arse over tit.

We always take our shoes off.
My in-laws ALWAYS need reminding.
MIL always asks if we know anyone else who does this.
We always say "yes everyone we know"
🙄🙄🙄

My parents and ILs and friends’ parents don’t take their shoes off but me and DH do and all our friends automatically do when visiting, and we do when visiting friends. Don’t even think about it, it just happens. I’ve never had to ask anyone or be asked. I wouldn’t ask someone because that would be awkward/rude. EG my parents just do wear their shoes inside as I don’t ask them. But there is a pile of shoes by the front door of our house, and all my friends’ front doors too.

So how did that happen, that non-shoe-removers raised automatic-shoe-removers?? So weird!

Why?

What is the point of a post like this

News alert for you - this is not Japan.

No, but are you saying our ground is somehow cleaner than Japan’s? 😵‍💫

My parents are the same, right from late 50’s. Everyone else takes theirs off. A bit different when my mum had a new carpet and she expects everyone to take theirs off now. Bet she will at mine now.

I feel really vulnerable when I have to take my shoes off at someone's house.

It’s really disrespectful to expect people to take their shoes off in this country. I’m decades younger than your in laws and I hate wandering around in bare feet. My shoes are part of my outfit, and if I’ve made the effort to look nice I don’t want to take my shoes off and I always have cold feet. And I’m really embarrassed about my manky toenails - do you want me to be embarrassed and feel uncomfortable?

I also find it really odd when people start taking their shoes off if they come to my house. I don’t want their bare feet on my floor! The floor is cold and the tiles are slippery in socks.

what if you have a party? Are you going to make all your guests stand round in party clothes and bare feet.

I don’t know anyone who insists on shoes off. I wonder if it is a ‘social class’ thing?

Disinfecting shoes? Precious carpets? Life is too short! Let people choose!

I take off trainers if I've been for a run or shoes that are muddy otherwise I sometimes keep shoes on indoors. Apart from FIL, none of my family are shoes off houses, but I always assume others houses are shoes off because its very common, so I offer to take shoes off.

However it wouldn't surprise me at all if older people aren't keen to take shoes off for all the reasons PP have listed. (Mobility/dexterity for actually taking off shoes, fear of slipping or losing balance, orthotics, or self consciousness about their feet etc etc) In fact I'm more surprised that none of that has occurred to OP.

I was 50 before I even knew this was a thing; no one ever did this. If wet/muddy you would wipe your shoes on the mat and then continue into the house. I will be flamed but I think it is a class thing; it is just not something that features in their life/upbringing rather than it being difficult to manage or they are being rude. Of course I take mine off if asked but it is not innate.