Why do they refuse to take their shoes off?

[SparkleFly]

What is it with the older generation, that they absolutely hate taking their shoes off in people's houses? My parents are late 70's and never take theirs off, if I suggest it they look uncomfortable and just ignore me. Same with MIL who will occasionally do an awkward check of the soles of her shoes before carrying on through my house wearing them. My 4 year old has been brought up to always remove them in our house or anyone else's, so he'll occasionally ask me why nanny doesn't take hers off, which is difficult to explain, giving that the real reason is that they don't give a sh**

Seriously though, what's with the lack of respect, especially when they can see everyone else doing it.

So you think people in their 60s were part of a 'colonial era' which meant that they were au fait at travelling the world where people took shoes off indoors??

What world are you living in? I imagine you to live in some inherited long lease Chelsea studio flat cluttered with remnants of Victoriana to bang on about how 'older people' are likely to live according to a colonial past with regard to taking their shoes off indoors.

My parents are in their 80s and it was never the done thing to take off shoes in our house growing up.

I don’t remember taking shoes off when visiting family or in friends’ homes either.

I do remember being asked to remove shoes when people started having cream carpets in their brand new houses.

My DM never took hers off either. Really used to piss me off. In her case nothing to do with stability she wore high heels into her 90's. She just didn't feel "dressed" properly without them on.

I have always walked bare feet in the house, we all do. It's a habit thing I am sure. All my friends take their shoes off if casual visiting. Interestingly if we have a dinner party they don't. Definitely something to do with dressing appropriately for the occasion and additionally if you have trainers, boots, they come off, smarter shoes stay on.

Exactly! My mum is 82, I wouldn't dream of asking her to take her shoes off, it involves her sitting for 5 or 10 minutes and is just an extra struggle that I would never impose on anyone. Have a little compassion.

I hate visiting shoes off houses and only do so when i absolutely have to! I find it incredibly unwelcoming and rude to expect people to remove their shoes!

Me and DH mid 30s. Both don't care about people wearing shoes downstairs indoors, and didn't come from families that made people take them off

I do hate taking shoes off in peoples houses mainly because it's a faff, and I feel not put together. However I do always take shoes off without asking in friends homes just in case but never ever ask them to do it at ours.

My late DM needed her shoes on to be able to balance and walk properly. They were special shoes for diabetics with neuropathy. I used to hate her walking in the house as we are carpeted but I accepted it. A quick check of the bottoms to check for muck and she kept them on. Same with my dad who needs them on for the same reason.

Most people remove shoes as soon as they see carpet - even the plumber did recently without asking. If he hadn't done so - and this goes for anyone else - I wouldn't have said anything as it's rude.

I don't feel strongly either way. We're not a shoes off house (unless dirty or muddy) but I'm OK with taking my shoes off at other people's houses.

I have to say I was probably late 20s before I'd been somewhere where it was expected to take shoes off, though , so not a norm where I've grown up, although it seems the norm in the MC town I live now.

I wouldn't like to take shoes off if I'd been invited to a party though. I'm very short and wearing heels is my chance to have an eye level conversation with a few people (as well as being an integral part of an outfit)

We are a shoes off house, my parents (in late 80s) take theirs off too when they pop round.

Offer Shoe Covers!!!! You can find them on Amazon.

"My 4 year old has been brought up to always remove them in our house or anyone else's, so he'll occasionally ask me why nanny doesn't take hers off, which is difficult to explain"

He's 4 ffs.

My gran used to think it was terribly low class to remove your shoes.

I didn’t grow up removing shoes indoors but then I only remember seeing one dog poo on the pavement where I lived and being shocked to see it! Where I live now there are dog poos every 50cm so shoes come off at the front door!

I wonder if it's regional? I don't know of anyone who was shoes off when I was growing up in Liverpool or even now when I visit back home.

Because they don't tell me in advance that they run a shoes-off house.

I don't think it the cultural norm to take shoes of in UK when visiting - lived in few parts of the UK and always will if asked or obvious clues it's expected and had few visitors ask if necessary but it's not a usual thing as it is in other countries.

I know my parents caused huge offense to estate agent asking her to remove her shoes when selling DGP house - she'd trued up in stiletto heels and there was wooden flooring throughout and it would have damaged the floor.

With older family members you do have to be aware they may need chairs and it may be quite the operation to do - plus as PP have mention some have been advised to keep shoes on.

Presumably some combination of difficulty doing it/wanting the comfort and support of shoes, and a feeling that it's rude to ask your guests to compromise their comfort for the sake of your floors (I'm 40 and agree).

OMG imagine offering visitors, close family at that, shoe covers. The mortification.

I lived in a (not posh) London suburb and it wasnt a thing in my childhood...and visited friends in Wiltshire, Somerset, Derbyshire, bedfordshire and Devon and never came across it there either!

But in commuterville where I live now its totally normal

I don't know why but my parents don't either and it fucks me right off. Everyone in the house takes theirs off but they just come in even with mud on their shoes. Even when they notice the mud they just go and fucking wipe them again and come back in. Infuriating is an understatement. We ripped up the carpet partly because of this. now I just mop soon as they leave. I've asked countless times just be be ignored or made to feel like it's an inconvenience. At my siblings house it's not a problem so why is it here !!

Smelly feet? Fungus? Seems weird to insist on people taking shoes off though

So, genuinely interested, are there any "shoes-off" households with pets (cats/dogs)? How do you rationalise asking visitors to remove shoes while tolerating manky paws around the house?

It's ludicrous to mention Japan as if that is relevant to us. We don't have tatami mats here that are better suited to bare or stockinged feet and we don't have a tradition of sitting on and sleeping on the floor. We also don't have the same type of slip off footwear to anywhere near the same extent.

Elderly UK residents are not habituated to being on the floor, getting up from the floor, and frequently need their shoes for comfort. And that's somehow less of a pressing matter to people who feel their guests should be worshipful to their carpet?

Get some Vanish and clean your bloody floor! Honestly, shaming people with poor mobility is not the solution here 🙄

I've terrible problems with my feet/toes and it's pretty difficult to get my shoes back on without the help of a shoe horn..preferably one of those IKEA shoe horns.

Taking shoes off when entering a home in the UK is a relatively new norm and anyone old enough to have children should understand that.

Asking people to remove their shoes is fine, but nose wrinkling and getting faint at the bare idea of wearing shoes indoors is ridiculous.