Life expectancy sent by email - relative

[BillStickersIsInnocent]

Hi, I hope someone can help.

I’m really shocked by this communication but I could well be missing something. A relative received an email after a CT scan saying he had inoperable lung cancer and giving him 2 years to live. 2 weeks later another email saying his scan had been sent to another clinician who has concluded he has 8 months to live.
This feels so cruel, I would have thought these conversations happen face to face or at least over the phone where you can ask questions.
Does anyone else have any experience of this type of communication?

they are face to face again.

He’s lying. There’s absolutely no way.

The most likely scenario is that this person is faking the diagnosis for a monetary advantage. This is a crime. As soon as you have evidence that they are asking for and/or receiving large sums of money because of this diagnosis (probably because a top doctor in California has an experimental cure) report him to the police for fraud. Police will have the power to find out whether the diagnosis is true if it is relevant to an active investigation.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/the-human-equation/201001/cancer-fraud-people-who-fake-illness-scam-others-gain-sympathy-get

This isn't true. Absolutely made up bollocks. Sorry, he's taking you for a ride.

I can guarantee you that this did not happen in UK. And no, a consultant would not refer to another in an email as 'top oncologist'.

This person is not telling the truth.

DFIL had a cancer diagnosis recently, all face to face with letters following up with detail. Email is insecure and I don’t think HCPs would use for confidential info? FIL also had letters detailing staging and type.

I do not believe that @BillStickersIsInnocent . My ex lied about being told by a doctor that he only had a few years to live. Some people do it to manipulate.

He did have a serious chronic illness, but he lied about being given a specific life expectancy by a doctor.

Sounds unlikely … ? Sorry you have such an awful relative

@BillStickersIsInnocent Just catching up. So, he is a known liar and pretty evil if he's been in prison for sex offences. Sounds like he hasn't changed.

If the parents are willing to have someone like that around, I don't know what you can do. You could give them your opinion of the person (again?) and maybe tell them your suspicions. Whatever you feel you should do. x

Thank you all for your advice.

My plan is to talk to them all about the possibility of him being scammed because of the content of the emails is just not feasible. I will push to see the emails so I can check where they’ve come from.

If he refuses but still maintains the content and that the emails are from the hospital I will say I will complain to PALS as this type of communication is unacceptable.

Why are the old couple supporting their rapist son, do they think he's innocent?

If he knows what he’s doing he won’t care if you complain because he knows pals cannot discuss with you.

You should be in the Olympics, that's a might big leap you have taken there!

Nope.

I think I’m just being cautious because if I’ve got this wrong I will have done a terrible thing. There is a part of me that believes he has cancer as how could anyone lie about this. Also how does he think this will pan out, if the Macmillan nurses never come won’t his parents get suspicious? Unless he ropes in someone to act that role.

But Macmillan nurses would not necessarily visit him at home anyway. Agree pals won't discuss anything with you without his express permission.

None of it is true. I am a clinician.

Communication is done via letter which stays in the patient record, not email.

Regardless of the above, this information would never be given in an email it would be F2F.

We don’t make specific estimates of prognosis other day “days, weeks, months, years” to give people an idea of what to expect. It varies too much by person and gives false hope.

Would never refer to someone as a top clinician.

Something very dodgy is going on here.

He's a convicted sex offender.

It's lies. All of it.

You're his sister, I guess and want to protect your parents?

You need to ask what he hopes to gain from these lies.

Is he wanting money perhaps to fulfil his 'bucket list'? A holiday, a new life somewhere?

If you are his sister, or another close relative, why don't you go to speak to his parents and tell them that what he has told you is lies.

The NHS does not use email for things like this- in fact because of data security they don't use email at all.

So he's stupid as well as a liar.

It sounds almost certainly bollocks.
what reason does he give for not showing you the emails?

i’d take his parents out for coffee and be very clear about your reasons for being suspicious. Don’t tell them you think he is lying but press on them that they need to get more information from him.

obviously the MacMillan nurses cancelling several times is a red flag- presumably he told you that too and doesn’t have any evidence to prove it? I’d say they were never in touch in the first place

Ha, no, we would never refer to a colleague in that way.

All cancer treatment decisions are made by MDM (multi disciplinary team) - it wouldn’t be one “top oncologist” making these pronouncements.

Where I used to work, a student faked cancer to get out of an exam - forged Dr notes and everything. You’d be surprised what people can do….

His ‘appointment’ was probably him sitting in the pub having a couple of crafty pints. No way would they email, no way would they give a life expectancy in an email and on the incredibly unlikely possibility this did happen, why won’t he share the emails?

I’ve had a lot of letters from the nhs for medical appointments and treatments, surgeries etc. Zero emails. I don’t think the nhs considers them secure enough. Very fishy.