Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Elderly parents
Original poster

Life expectancy sent by email - relative

598 replies

BillStickersIsInnocent · 13/04/2023 11:12

Hi, I hope someone can help.

I’m really shocked by this communication but I could well be missing something. A relative received an email after a CT scan saying he had inoperable lung cancer and giving him 2 years to live. 2 weeks later another email saying his scan had been sent to another clinician who has concluded he has 8 months to live.
This feels so cruel, I would have thought these conversations happen face to face or at least over the phone where you can ask questions.
Does anyone else have any experience of this type of communication?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Littlepicker · 14/04/2023 19:21

Wow! Just bloody wow!!!

AnnaMagnani · 14/04/2023 19:24

CrazyLadie · 14/04/2023 17:50

How would macmilliam tell him the details about his cancer? It's private medical information and they won't have access to that, hus Dr would tell him everything face to face and would advise taking someone with them as its a lot to take in. He is lying through his teeth, I think ya have to consider possibly ruining her relationship cause ya can't just let this guy do this to his elderly parents, absolutely disgusting

Show quote history

Macmillan, the national call centre wouldn't know anything about his personal cancer.

However various oncology and palliative care specialists at the hospital, who are employed by the hospital, and may have Macmillan badges, would obviously have access to his medical information. Talking about the details of your cancer is a major part of their jobs.

Madamum18 · 14/04/2023 19:24

Very suspicious. Take lots of care but do not ignore

Ofcourseshecan · 14/04/2023 19:24

TheSnowyOwl · 13/04/2023 12:11

I would tell him, in front of his parents, that whatever has been sent to him has come from fraudsters as it’s not how medical practice works in this country. Hopefully saying it will reassure his parents a little.

Great response, TheSnowyOwl.

OP, this idea is a good one. You’re making it clear that the email is definitely not true. But you’re blaming unknown scammers, not your relative. So no offence to your relatives, and you’ve warned them off.

BelleMarionette · 14/04/2023 19:26

I'm a doctor and I just want to reassure people that the facts presented are absolutely not true. Bad news like this is given face to face. Email is not used as it is not secure, unless one NHS account to another. Prognosis is not a specific time frame, as it's impossible to give, but rather an estimate eg months or years. Finally a tissue biopsy is needed to diagnose cancer, imaging might be suspicious, but would not give a definitive diagnosis.

Emmelina · 14/04/2023 19:26

Three relatives went through the two week pathway in the height of covid, two were given a cancer diagnosis. Absolutely everything was face to face for all three of them. Good news, bad news, follow ups, treatment planning.

Your relative is pulling a fast one here almost certainly. Plenty of good ideas already given re calling PALS, macmillan etc etc in front of him to get him to squirm.

hairypaws · 14/04/2023 19:26

Totally goes against nhs email policy for a start. Patient sensitive info would never be sent to a gmail/hotmail account as security is too low. It would be a face to face appointment and gp would get a letter advising of details.

I have to agree with the others that I don't believe a word of it.

sillistudi · 14/04/2023 19:32

What sick f* does this? To pretend to have cancer??? Almost makes you wish it did befall them - but I'd not wish that on anyone. Sorry for all suffering themselves, supporting or grieving a loved one to cancer Flowers

mauvish · 14/04/2023 19:36

The other thing that bothers me is that he hasn’t been given any details of the type of cancer (beyond basic organ type) or grade or stage. Or whether it has spread. He seems to think this info will come with the macmillan nurses but that sounds very off to me. Unless of course he has been told this but is in denial about it or has forgotten.

Quite aside from the communication by email issue, this is what hits me as highly suspicious.

So a "top oncologist" has reached a diagnosis and prognosis without even seeing him, without any tissue biopsies, and so without evidence of type of cancer (it's not just "lung cancer", there are different types of lung cancer, for example).And best of all, without knowing whether the cancer has spread. I'd suggest that if all he's had is a CT scan on his chest, then no-one would even know about spread of any cancer; a chest CT isn't going to show whether a lesion in the lungs has spread anywhere else, or even if it has spread TO the lungs from somewhere else.

And without knowing that, you can't plan any possible treatments and you certainly can't talk about prognosis. Nothing happens with treatment plans until you've had biopsies and staging investigations.

Farpavilions · 14/04/2023 19:41

Coming from a situation where my sister (34) learnt from a nurse in passing that she had a grade 4 brain tumour glioblastoma (written at the top of her file), I wouldn’t be surprised by any of this

supersop60 · 14/04/2023 19:44

Hi OP. Another one here saying this is a lie.
I like the suggestion of a pp that you treat the email as a scam, and give all the reasons stated above why it wouldn't happen like that.
The parents will be relieved and your lying relative will not get away with it.
Good luck.

Thelnebriati · 14/04/2023 19:45

@BillStickersIsInnocent If the parents are elderly, contact adult social services or the local police, and tell them you are worried they are being scammed.

Outerlimit · 14/04/2023 19:46

SilverPeacock · 13/04/2023 15:05

Apart from anything else NHS wouldn’t send highly confidential information in an email to a non secured address. They are very careful about this sort of thing.

I went to my GP with a concern for which a referral was made to a local hospital. In due course, I received an e-mail titled "2 week Cancer referral" as my first contact from the hospital.
Had the GP been vague and told me that she had spotted something and would like a second opinion, it would have been a dreadful shock.
My FIL received 5 years of fentanyl and oral morphine, Macmillan care and council carers despite refusing to see an oncologist or submit to any tests. He was a master manipulator and died of something else, but had sympathetic people dancing to his tune the whole time.

Cfcbaz · 14/04/2023 19:49

My MIL has just had a cancer diagnosis. We had loads of scans and then didn't hear anything about a follow up after over one month. After loads of attempts to contact them for a follow up we didn't hear anything so emailed the cancer specialist nurses after I managed to find their email address after loads of searching. They said that due to the nature of the results, they could not discuss it over email and booked us for a f2f appointment, which is when we got the cancer diagnosis.
Your family member is lying!

Heyheyitsanotherday · 14/04/2023 19:52

No medical information is ever disclosed via email. At times it can be via nhs.net account to nhs.net account (so medical professional to other medical professional) but no way would it be sent this way to a patient. Absolutely not a cancer diagnosis. He’s either being scammed or he is an awful piece of work. I hope you get the the bottom of it op

Dappy55 · 14/04/2023 19:54

I wouldn't be too sure, could it be that they had a text to say that there was a letter, clicked in to look at it and saw the letter to the GP which is copied in to the patient? I only ask as I had a very upsetting letter myself which had been written with no consideration that thr patient, me , would read it

Zakana69 · 14/04/2023 19:58

He is definitely lying, I would imagine for personal financial gain of some description, known as “obtaining pecuniary advantage”. Until he manages to actually commit fraud, it isn’t a criminal offence, so best to contact PALS to “complain” on his behalf, and then Adult Social Care with your concerns. Best of luck, it’s a nightmare situation for you and his parents. Not to mention evil and manipulative.

NalafromtheLionKing · 14/04/2023 19:59

Sorry OP but this sounds deeply suspicious. Both my DPs had terminal cancer (dead now) and, when we asked for a prognosis/timescale, the doctors absolutely refused to give one.

Given his history of manipulation and deception, I would put money on him lying, definitely about the e-mails and highly likely about even having cancer in the first place. Some people do stoop to those levels.

pollykitty · 14/04/2023 20:07

I’m sorry but this is complete and utter BS. Oncologists absolutely do not communicate information like this via email. While not having been a patient myself, I unfortunately have all sorts of experience supporting friends and family through cancer, and emails are just NOT DONE. Nor are definitive statements about life expectancy. It may be your relative has cancer but this aspect is not true. It would not surprise me if they are setting up some longer term scam, trying to gain your sympathy first.

TheRookie · 14/04/2023 20:09

Not only would they not share this information via email, I haven't seen consultants in NHS use email at all

Unsure33 · 14/04/2023 20:22

Do you think the parents would hand over money for him to get “ private “ treatment ? Something has to be going on ?

Fluff3 · 14/04/2023 20:30

I work for the NHS, and as bad as it is right now, I can tell you as a fact, no diagnosis would be given by email, espically a terminal 1.

Original poster
BillStickersIsInnocent · 14/04/2023 20:30

Ok so I’ve seen the parents tonight. I raised the possibility with the father that potentially the emails could be a scam, because they are emails, they communicate specific life expectancy, and the odd details like “top oncologist”.

Father has seen the emails, and has copied them out by hand. The timelines are there - 2 years and then 8 months. The “top oncologist” phrase is there, with the name of the clinician, although not the hospital he is based in oddly. The emails are very generic. Other emails talk generally about meeting for treatment plans. Appointments booked and then cancelled. No email about type, grade or stage of cancer or why the 8 months was decided.

Father is confident that the emails come from nhs.net but he said he didn’t pay much attention to the heading or email address. The email content was in the body of the email, not an attachment.

I‘m not sure what to think now really - I still feel the wording is odd but I think I have to conclude that this is legit. And appalling communication from
the hospital.

OP posts:
highfidelity · 14/04/2023 20:36

It is not legit. The NHS does not communicate like this.

Zakana69 · 14/04/2023 20:40

I second that, it is not legitimate, he has had to come up quick with some generic emails, as he thinks he may be disbelieved. Such generic emails can be copied and pasted from the internet nowadays. Such emails would definitely have the hospital at which the consultant is based.