@Cherrysherbet
I've just re-read your post, and this reply I guess is something of an essay. I can't tell you what you should do, but as someone who has only recently been in your shoes and is still dealing with the aftershocks, here is a warts and all account of my experience.
Jan 2019 - dad fell down the stairs and broke his back in 4 places. 7 weeks in hospital/rehab then home in back brace. He was able to shuffle about indoor and manage the stairs, but suffered numerous issues that weren't technically related to the fall but only came about after. The impact on his mental health and confidence was also pretty bad.
Early 2020, his younger brother passed away and he took to his bed. Early April, at the outset of the pandemic, we were advised that he was to be put on the end of life care pathway...they suspected some kind of gastrointestinal cancer and a life expectancy of 1 - 3 months. We decided to keep him at home because of the pandemic and care home risks and restrictions.
It turned out to be 'just' frailty and he survived another 13 months, by the end of which he was blind, doubly incontinent, unable to feed himself and struggling to even drink without support (usually pureed food and thickened liquids), often confused and in pain. He couldn't be lifted without a hoist but found it uncomfortable so opted to stay in bed.
Like you I'm an only child, although my mum is still around she is not a natural nurse and we have a challenging relationship so working together to care for dad was incredibly difficult.
Carers 4x a day will not scratch the surface when you're having to clean up a wet/soiled parent/bed at midnight, or sitting with them for hours at 3 or 4am because they are distressed.
Mealtimes that would normally take 15-20 minutes can take up to an hour, not taking into account any special dietary needs.
He needed lots of movement to prevent bedsores and also because be frequent slipped down in bed and needed propping up, which was physically demanding. Even though he was tiny he was a dead weight and that's not easy to manoeuvre.
You will need space for a hospital bed as well as the hoist and any other equipment your mum needs...the likelihood is that your entire home will be turned upside down.
You will also be running your own home, plus all your mum's admin, appointments, dealing with all the numerous agencies involved with her care, managing her medications. There may be times that she injures herself or needs medical assistance outside of carers hours. I never thought I'd see the day I'd be administering suppositories to my dad, and became quite the expert in dressing wounds caused by him trying (and occasionally succeeding) to throw himself out of bed when he was confused and distressed. We couldn't move him due to his previous back injury and being unable to weight bear so on one occasion when he fell out we had to wait 4.5 hours for paramedics to come out and lift him back into bed.
Also bear in mind that the agencies will always put 'patients voice' first. I'm sure this is well intentioned but I have to say that as a carer I didn't feel mine or my mum's wellbeing was considered at all.
When we thought it was short term, we asked about dad being cathetered or having a daily suppository to try to regulate his bowel movements...against policy because of infection risk (even though he was dying already) or not without his consent, which he really wasn't in a fit state to give, but because he was lucid some of the time right up until the end he couldn't be declared incompetent.
If you haven't already you will need to get medical and financial POA in place as well.
We were given emergency meds to be administered by the end of life team...'just give us a call'. Several times those calls didn't actually result in visits.
There was, and still is, very little face to face support for carers due to the pandemic, so bear that in mind when considering the social and emotional impact caring at home will have.
Agencies such Macmillan and Marie Curie will only support with a formal cancer diagnosis, which we couldn't get even when it was suspected as Dad was too frail for investigative procedures. Our local hospice turned our referrals down 3x on the grounds that dad wasn't in need of significant enough care. Eventually I pushed for him to be transferred to a care home for last 7 weeks of his life as I was so terrified we would be unable to manage his symptoms at home or call anyone else to treat him promptly.
My parents live round the corner so I did get to go home for a break. It didn't prevent me being referred to the CMHT for self-harm and suicidal ideation, or currently being on triple the dose of AD's I was two years ago. I thought I had bad panic attacks prior to this but the ones I've had in the last 6 months have been beyond anything I've experience previously.
And I should add that my dad was the most easy going man and compliant patient you could wish for. We were incredibly close and I loved him to bits.
My daughter was 14 when dad fell. She's 17.5 now and more or less independent. I lost those last few of her relative childhood. I didn't have the bandwidth, energy or time to support her anywhere near as much I would have liked with her GCSEs and college choices. Thankfully we were close beforehand and by the grace of some higher power it hasn't damaged our relationship but it's certainly broken me and she's seen and heard things I would never have wanted her to experience.
My dad was 83 when he died. If your mum lives for another 7 years, you will miss your DDs entire adolescence and they need you now, especially girls I think, probably more than when they small.
I can understand you needing to give it a try. But I would gently but firmly suggest that if you do, you use that six weeks with the carers to consult with organisations such as Carers UK and Age UK, and look into care home options so you can be prepared for the eventuality that home care might just not be the best choice for all of you.
If you want more of a blow by blow account you're very welcome to search under my previous name MintyCedric, for posts on this thread over the last three years.
Tbh without it and my amazing best friend whi had supported me in real life, I think there's a distinct possibly I wouldn't be here posting this now.