Physically able mum 83 wants to be 'looked after'

[Anonymum40]

My mum has lived in a sheltered flat 5 mins from me and my family for about 6 months. Before that she was in the family home since my dad died in may 2019.

We have her over every Sunday and I pop in occasionally in the week. My sister lives further away but also sees her at least once a week.

Last week she had a fall which put her in hospital. It turned out to be nothing serious thankfully but then she cried when they said she could go home. She told them there was no one to look after her. She literally wants someone to put 3 meals a day in front of her. And she needs constant company. Really she wants my dad back but obviously that's impossible. Besides he used to say she was often bored and gloomy anyway.

She is quite difficult and narcissistic. I am having trouble with establishing my boundaries cos right now I'm ' on duty' at her flat and feeling resentful....

FIL died 2 years before MIL. She wasn't looked after by him. He'd had a stroke 15 years previously and was mobile but fairly dependent. Caring for him in his final months (he survived 10 weeks after a bad fall) took a lot out of her and she never got her pizazz back.

@Anonymum40
Anyone who slats you and accused you of abandoning your mum is Someone who has no idea of what caring for an elderly relative can be like. In short - an arsehole.

Fwiw. As an (ex)manager in a care home, we always said to anyone’s family who’s loved one was in for respite, the break is for you, so go, drink champagne, go on holiday, do whatever it is you need to do to put yourself back together. You are paying us to look after your loved one and that is what we will do. You go and look after you.