Cockroach Cafe - newly refurbished for the summer

[MereDintofPandiculation]

Welcome into our newly refurbished cafe. We've got rid of the Bad Daughters' bench - it was getting too small - and refitted the main room as a Bad Daughters' room, with comfy sofas, coffee, chocolates and drinks of your choice. (There is a good daughters' room - go down that corridor there and you'll find it tucked behind the stairs. It's not yet been fully furnished - we haven't had a visit from a Good Daughter in I don't know how long).

Anyway, come in when you want to share good news, or to rant, or to ask a small question that doesn't warrant its own thread. Or just to hang out with others who understand what you're going through.

For newbies: why cockroach? Previous long term resident of "Elderly Parents" Yolo's DM attended a 'small animal event' in a nursing home, and was presented with a "small animal with a hard back" the name of which species she couldn't remember. Her ever helpful DB suggested cockroach, and it has become a toast on here. So cockroach mes amis/amies, and may you all live to fight another day.

@burningthetoast

It was words saying about ID & something I hadn't thought about & very important. My mil has neither passport or driving licence. Hmmm.

Yep, cup of tea definitely OT.

I have no idea about triggering the LPA, it nearly finished me organising it. I've also moved house & I think it's with the solicitors.

So much practical stuff here.

There will be alternatives. It’s very common for the very elderly to have neither passport nor driving license.

If the LPA has been registered with the Office of Public Guardian, all that needs to be done is to present it to each and every institution as required (you wait until you need to do something with each institution, not try to do it all at once). They’ll take a copy of it, and from then on will treat you as if you were the account holder.

If it hasn’t been registered with OPG - no little raised stamp in the corner of each page, that’s the first thing you need to do.

Don’t let the original out of your sight. Get several certified copies - your solicitor will do that, or a financial adviser.

I have been waving the finance LPA in the last couple of months, it's as Dint says in that you present it as needed. There was no common approach - make an appointment/can't make appointments, can do most of it on the phone, all has to be done in branch. The bank that does not offer appointments now because of covid and expects you to turn up and wait (breathing all the time) for an adviser to be free took three visits then a ten minute wait in a queue before opening time. When it's time to reinvest mum's money their approach to customer service will be considered - she'd have been taking her money out there and then, loudly.

So I can just take the original LPA into Mum’s bank and show it to them? I tried to do it online with Santander earlier this year - painful.

Cross post!

@BurningTheToast When my DM had to go into residential care permanently it actually affected us all more than when she finally died. My DF in particular was incredibly depressed at first.

It worked out brilliantly though, within a few months all was well, DM was so well looked after by the fantastic staff, DF visited every day, but had the huge burden of worry lifted from him. She died peacefully in her sleep there 4 years later.

I hope it works out well for your MIL, whatever happens.

BestIsWest If you look on the bank's website or call them they will tell you what you need to take in, I think you need proof of your identify and proof of the donor's as well as the LPA itself.

I’ve never been one to cut things fine, so as we’re in site of 1000 posts, here’s the new thread

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/elderly_parents/4406929-Cockroach-Cafe-come-and-try-our-new-sunroom?watched=1

Damn! In sight.

Hello, can I join in? I've been signposted here by some lovely people who answered my thread about FIL breaking DH. I'm not a Bad Daughter, but I'm a Very Bad DIL and he's making us all very unhappy.

Yep, but you need to go to the new thread, as this one is nearly full. It's in the link above, we have a sunroom. 😁👆😎