The Cockroach Cafe (the successor to the Shiny Thread)

[MereDintofPandiculation]

A space for us all to get together for relief from caring, share news, frustrations, problems, or just have a rant. Everyone and everything welcome (though if you have a big problem needing advice, you may want to start a new thread so as to be heard above the noise of the clanking gin bottles and general chatter)

I love this! 🐜🐜🐜
Frequent lurker, waves to thesandwich andyolofish ( are you enjoying the Florabotannica? I wear it often too and think of you!)
Just posted a rant about PoA and photo ID , if anyone can help, please pile in. I am beyond stressed with it all...

Just ordered some lovely bedding from Bedeck. Just because! 😁

Excellent grinchly😉😉

Hi all it's me again. With Grimm problems again. Mum has settled reasonably well but understandably wants to see her husband. It's his birthday on Sunday. I contacted Grimm 1 to find out details of their plans, they are going to take him out for lunch. I'm going to take mum.
I told G1 I'd pop over to the flat to pick up some clothes while they are at lunch.
I got a text back telling me to remove everything of my mother's whilst there to prepare it for sale. I'm on my own and it'll take days not an hour. She's only been gone for two weeks. I've already said at least a month needs to go by and see how the land lies, it's sill her home. How the fuck does he think that I can do what he demands in an hour while mum has lunch with her husband?
I'm so angry I've decided it's time to get a SHL and tell em to piss off. I'm off to find one tomorrow, I talked to one a few months ago but we are now in a different territory.
I'm fighting the urge to send a text to say fuck off to the far side of fuck etc. But my desire to not let them see me get angry is (only just) holding me back.
Instead I'm weeping quiet tears into my pillow and pouring it out here.

Oh nora that is awful! Sending huge hug. 🌺🌺🍷🍷
I can’t offer any wisdom- not sure if @hatgirl has any advice but a SHL sounds the right move now you’ve got your mum out.
And tell the gp all.

What's an SHL?

Why don't you just tell G1 to fuck himself Nora? Sounds long overdue to me.

Shit hot lawyer.

I can't tell him to fuck off because I'm supposed to be acting sensibly as my mums attorney and he would love to have ammunition to make me out to be unsuitable or volatile. Once their dad goes, they'll get full guns.

grinchly yes to flora botanicca and loving your cockroach emoticons! good move on the bedding, I bought myself a very expensive but extremely beautiful coat today courtesy of my inheritance.

nora the BG are aptly named... please dont cry, I'm sure we can come up with something. How about saying that you will remove immediate personal effects during lunch but obviously they will understand that further time is needed to make the necessary arrangements for other things? And then obviously gut the place, putting anythign of theirs on the pavement? (only joking, obvs...)

Let's all go with Nora to strip the place. A bunch of middle aged women with an agenda - who'd mess with us?

Don't internalise things though Nora, Yolo is right there, we are all here for you to vent at any time. Sending you cockroaches (or rather a plague on the BG's houses…)

You roaches are fab. I feel stronger this morning. I'm going to swim before work (not managed this for weeks), go to work and find a lawyer.

I had a session with a financial planner last night which was reassuring re paying for mums care and hopefully leaving some of her savings as inheritance. It was after he'd gone that the Grimm text arrived.

Right, better get up and get down to the pool. I've a km to do to get my energy levels up.

I'll go see mum after work for an hour too.

Nora glad you're feeling better.

If I ever met the brothers Grimm, I'd.....well, I don't think I can say really!!

nora hope the pool did its magic. Love the roaches name!! Hope you are feeling better today.
Love yolos flash mob idea!

Yep me too sarnie
Allons! Middle aged women in full throttle....

I can recommend Fascinating Aida for mega laughs. Seen them live many times. (YouTube)
Cheap flights is fab.

Love Fascinating Aida! so glad you are feeling a bit better nora, I hope the swim did the trick and you are currently plotting evil, but totally legal, revenge on the Grimms. I think at this stage it is probably a question of holding your line? ie, your mum is safe, they have no real power now, and of course you want your mum to have what is hers and facilitate her seeing her husband (as far as is poss). Basically I think the BG are going to turn out to be full of a load of hot air...

nora your dm sure knows how to pick a man (and his sons).

Hoping to cheer you up - when I read your updates, I can't help picturing the grandma from 'Friday night dinner' and her horrible, horrible fiance.

"Basically I think the BG are going to turn out to be full of a load of hot air"

This.

I’m glad it’s not just me who spends to cheer my situation
Whilst DF was in hospital recently I somehow managed to acquire a new watch, ring and bracelet!
Partly because I was expecting an insurance payout due to losing some jewellery on holiday - which went wrong because I spent it before I got the cheque and they have now changed offer to a voucher!
I’m madly eBaying to make up the difference!

Skip past this if I have already bored you to tears with #bingate.

Today was the first day that DM got her milk delivered. I'd told her when I saw at the weekend. As an introductory freebie the milkman also delivered a pint of orange juice. This seemed to confuse/piss her off, so she got the carer to give it all to the NDN who she hates. She was very pleased to tell me all this when I arrived this evening. Sigh.

She'd wanted me to buy her some new bras as she reckons I ruined hers when I chuck them in the washing machine. I haven't had the time to get to a proper shop, so bought a soft one sized fits all type thing that you pull on from Asda in my lunch break. To say that she hated it would be an understatement.

Don't want to check my blood pressure this evening.

monkey please don't hate me but why did you go tonight? Did she give the milk to NDN as well?

On a practical level, can she pull one of those bras on? Mum actually wants to try them but fears that bit will be too hard for her.

Went because I am an idiot Autumn but also because I wanted to check it was ok with the milk (which went next door with the OJ). The milk that I had put in her freezer was sat defrosted and gone off in the sink.

Yes, she will have no problem with getting one of those bras on, it's just that it wasn't a traditional type.

monkey is it time for her to go into a home? Or have a live in carer or several carer visits?

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this.

nota just the most enormous hug - when you cant do right for doing wrong eh? xxx

nota huge hug and a large 🍷.
Take a step back.

My heart goes out to you nota it really does feel as if we cannot do right for doing wrong. I have nothing useful to add apart from sympathy in ladlefuls.