The new shiny 2019 thread for anyone caring for elderly parents

[thesandwich]

Continuing the long running series of threads. Pace yourself, it's a marathon not a sprint!
This is a safe place to offload- don't be embarrassed about how you feel. No judgement here
There are lovely people here with practical experience of some of the issues which crop up who'll share their hard won knowledge!
And a few laughs and the odd cockroach or gin....

So sorry jace great advice from others re records.
yolo glad to hear today went better for you dh. Another day down....

Oh gosh Jace I am sorry.

I was supposed to be taking DM to a hospital check-up today, but DS was in a bad way and I couldn't leave him on his own at home, so decided to rearrange it for another day. DM's carer phones me at 6pm to say she wasn't at home, and no sign of her. I then drove over, and drove around til I found her sitting on a wall in a street. She'd decided to take herself to the hospital appointment, and got a bus home. But the bus stopped about a 20 minute walk from her house, so she decided to set off in the cold and dark. Two bloody hours later, I find her. She has no bloody idea how weak she is, and can't remember that she isn't well.

I saw an ad on my local FB for a care agency that does things like take them to hospital appointments, shopping, etc, so this will spur me on to change agency as the current one don't actually seem to do anything except check if she's home or not.

Oh bloody hell nota!

I know, I've been gritting my teeth so hard I'm hurting my head!

jesus nota I dont know what to say? your poor mum and above all poor you xxx

Nota
So sorry, how about a GPS tracker?

Oh nota that must have been awful. 🌺🌺

She won't/can't use a mobile, but hasn't been out on her own for nearly 2 years, so I didn't think it was an issue. God I hope this isn't the start of a wandering phase.

Thanks all x

Thanks all
I sent email to DM surgery this morning and attached LPOA plus self and DB details (I’d already spoken to Dr and reception staff re this when I was there)
Bloods won’t be back for a week or so n will have to wait for scan too
DM is struggling with feeling unwell and getting anxious - which is making it worse but I don’t feel she needs A & E and have had to leave her to it
DB will have to be her go to tonight as quite frankly I’m in need of gin
I’ve had other bad news re work today which didn’t help
Visited DF who is stressing about DM through his own cognitive difficulties
Told sort of DP to take his depression and pity party elsewhere
I had had a pleasant evening planned with adult DC discussing holidays and upcoming events and celebrations obviously that went out of the window
At least the cat is warm cuddly and reassuring!

thank god for cats jace and dogs and wine and and and. That sounds like you had quite enough yesterday.

Bless

Oh dear Jace thinking of you.

Today brought no improvements
DM worsened and GP got bloods back and rang ambulance
I’m currently sat on medical assessment unit waiting with her to see a Dr
Work is a nightmare as got an urgent deadline
DP just rang v down as out of work and just heard he didn’t get either job from 2 very promising interviews
I really really can’t do this anymore

Jace, I'm sorry to hear this
is a blood transfusion likely then?

sending hugs to you

and to all in fact.

jace so sorry, sending hugs and a virtual cat to stroke.
Thinking of all and your challenges.🌺🌺

No idea - what they are planning - no bed yet, no scan results, not seen a nurse or Dr
DM is getting very tired and cranky which is exacerbating her dementia
If she asks me one more time why she is here I will scream..............

Hello again!

I'm tagging @supermariossister as she's having a bit of trouble!

oh jace huge hugs to you

Thinking of you jace we've all been there. Cockroach

Finally spoke to someone - admitting DM for IV antibiotics and more in depth CT and MRI scans tomorrow - said could be sinister but might not be - also checking pancreas and gallbladder
No bed as yet
Waiting for tag team DB so I can go n get some work done to make up for hours lost today
No point in visiting DF now he’s always tucked up in bed on feeding tube from 7
DD visited him for me 5-6 and reassured him re DM - it’s hard to tell his level of cognition so will judge how much I tell him when I visit tomorrow
Might try n get DS to cook for me later whilst I get stuck into the gin (again) it’s crap for my SW diet but something has to give

Jace, I hear you on the "something has to give", you do need to just be kind to yourself

hope your DM is all right tonight

I take it admission hasn't actually been done? If it has, then I'd head home and let your DB come later, but guessing it hasn't been done or there would be visiting hours to factor in?

Are there any threads on filling in attendance allowance form. Or anywhere i can find advice

Croydon sent someone round to help my Dad fill it in. I got the impression it's something they have to do.

🌺🌺🍷🍷jace
rose age uk or the carers association have expertsin this- there is an art to using the right language.
Also, phone and order hard copy forms which will be date stamped and his claim will be backdated to that date. A tip from another mnetter.