Support for those who care for elderly parents - drop in as you need, everyone welcome

[CMOTDibbler]

All of us would rather not be here, but we need to be - with the people who really understand.

Sorry to hear that, hope the teddy helps. Step-dad was also totally agitated. Did not like this hotel, the bloke won't let him get a taxi home. I told him he was In hospital but he just said "the haddock' s by the microwave".

I felt a bit sad because he kept saying, " I just want to be with your mum." My mum died at the end of last year and, even though she was in a home, he misses her terribly.

OH had to do a 90 min round trip in a taxi to pick Med book up from stepdad's house and bring it to the hospital so that they can see what Wharfarin dose he is on. But a least that meant a taxi home for me instead of waiting for buses in the cold. Hospitals also seem so much worse at night. That said, the staff on the ward are absolutely lovely.

for you both.

Helen, do you think he was worse because of sundowning?

BTM. He's never really sun downed before but maybe. Everything is so purposeless and he seems to not even know you are there now. I can't even read him like you woukd a baby though I cycle through the options like I would - hot / cold / thirsty / wet / pat him / light off and leave home alone but nothing worked. The teddy at least gave him something to chuck out the bed or hold :) I swear he was trying to put his own arm out of the bed with his other hand at one point.

His favourite carer sat with us for a bit. She's asking the nurses to come and asess tomorrow. They'll call me if they want that to be overnight though. Left him with the night team who were reassuringly smiling and thought he'd be fine.

It's my bloody birthday tomorrow and selfishly I've got stuff arranged :(

Querky. Much hugs. I remember the random stuff dad used to say but " the had rocks by the microwave" is a good one !

Did you know there are new alternatives to warfarin ( unless he has a mechanical valve) that don't need blood tests and can go in blister packs ?when this episode settles before he goes home it might be worth asking if he'd be suitable to swap - dads on apixiban ( though I think the time has come to stop it really) and it's been a good change for him.

Helen happy birthday! I hope you can enjoy your day.

Happy birthday Helen!

My DM is on Apixiban - when do you know it is time to stop it? I guess that is to let nature take it's course?

Happy Birthday Helen, sorry it's in such difficult circumstances

Hope you find time to enjoy yourself today HlR. Happy birthday

Happy birthday. And best wishes to those who are going through difficult times. I love 'the haddock is by the microwave'.

BTM i had a long chat with the geriatrician about when to stop any drug and he included anticoagulant in it. The answer was" when taking it becomes a burden " which I think is about now

I think he's on his way , I suddenly feel sad and lonely. He's had a sedative this morning but now just breathing fast and peaceful. My gerbil is dying too. I feel like the grim reaper :(

So sorry Helen. Peaceful is the best we all hope for now.

Really sorry Helen, wishing you strength Are you on your own there ?

So sorry Helen. It must be so hard. Sending you(((())))) wishing him peace. Thinking of you.

My lovely friend came over, she is a star. Now popped home to be appreciative if my birthday surprise from dd2 who has been baking. I'll go ask later.

How lovely of DD2 and your friend

Back here lying on dads floor. He's peaceful but breathing rate 40-50 a minute which is surprisingly hard to listen to. I assume at some point hell just stop, I dunno.

Dd2 made a lovely pavlova as my birthday cake. I did a good impression of sociable.

50yrs together. I shall miss him. Looks like he's going to be kind enough not to go on my birthday though.

I hope you managed to have a good birthday Helen. 🎂 Good that your dad is hanging in so you can have a peaceful day.

So hard in the final days. I remember when DF was dying, I used to just sit and witter at him. They do say hearing is the last sense to go. Thinking of you.

I am going to google apixiban, as I am so sick of having to constantly hassle the surgery to give us the warfarin dose after each inr.

Good day here again. Mum is having a good week and talking about getting herself up and downstairs. Possibly even getting her own lunch? Cardiology apt on Monday so will see what the doctor says about prognosis. Fingers crossed x

Thinking of you this morning Helen

Thinking about you too Helen- the pavlova sounds lovely.

Holding you and your dad in my thoughts Helen

Thanks all. He passed away peacefully about an hour ago. Dh brought me left over pavlova for breakfast and ds had stayed overnight holding dads hand most of the time so he and I couldn't have been better looked after.

Out of hours Gp was a dick on the phone. Hope it's better when he gets here. Though I understand " we are very very busy yknow". So it'll be about tea time I assume.

Oh Helen I am so very sorry. I am glad you were there with your ds. What a star.
Sending (((((((((())))))))))). He was so lucky to have you. Rest in peace Helens dad.

Love to you and all your family Helen ((((()))))

I'm so sorry Helen, love to you all. Your children sound absolutely lovely. Take care

Oh Helen, so sorry for your loss. You did a great job of looking after him