Support for those who care for elderly parents - drop in as you need, everyone welcome

[CMOTDibbler]

All of us would rather not be here, but we need to be - with the people who really understand.

Isn't your daughter beautiful Helen! You must have been so proud.

My nephew is studying at the Old Vic in Bristol, and though obv the stage management group have a lot of in built nightlife, he's had a great time. I go to the oncology centre a lot, and hear about the general clinical developments in Bristol from them and they are really pushing forward.

Helen those photos are wonderful- thank you for sharing them. I too grew up in Bristol and have some fabulous memories- I was listening to r4 talking about video shops- there is one on Christmas steps in bristol( having relocated from Clifton) with its own tiny cinema!
Happy Easter all!

Aww thanks guys. I am so proud of them and I know dad would be too

At the moment we are sharing one of the tiny pleasures left to him. A few bits of an aldi choc bunny :) he's coughing loads though ( not because of the choc ! )

Wow, all these Bristolians!

Its not a City I know, but the time of her interview was pushed back so we had a lovely sunny morning walking round Clifton and the campus. I then hiked off to see the suspension bridge. My son, who stayed in London, is warning my DD that she is in danger of me visiting frequently.

The appeal of Bristol was that it would offer a full University experience, say in contrast to a London teaching hospital. Even Durham's medical school is miles from campus. DD is very sporty (not musical like Helen's DC) so she should have a fab time.

Its good to celebrate as well as mourn.

DM needs some dental surgery to help preserve her remaining teeth. I think they glue false teeth into gaps etc. The community dental service is great as decisions are based on an acceptance that there will be little compliance and she would not be able to adapt to dentures. It will be interesting. I can't see her enjoying the procedure, or indeed understanding why it is happening.

Wow NMS that's great news. Bristol medical school is very well respected. Plus Bristol is a great city, my best friend lives there and I love going there.
Nice pic Helen- is that Victor Meldrew to your daughter's left?!! Seriously though that's lovely. Music is so therapeutic.

Well done NMS's DD! Bristol must be the place atm as it's my bf's first choice for next year too (though not medicine!)

And Helen, how lovely that your DC share the same interest - great photos!

SugarPlum, really sorry that you are now worried about your DB too - let's hope he can hold together

Spoke to DM today who was fairly lucid but clearly rather bored. She is probably one of the most on the ball residents, so I can see why she must feel fed up at times. Not sure what I can do, but we are going up next week and I will take her in some more colouring/painting books and maybe a jigsaw and simple puzzle book. I also need to contact the Dementia clinic nurse who went in to visit her and see what she thinks

Thank you both. It was ice to be able to share and would equally love to hear other good news.

BTM is there scope for visitors, perhaps local volunteers. Or trips to U3A or similar? Paying a carer to take my mum out and give her a change of scenery has been very valuable.

Whataboutbob I think you are right, mr Meldrew is moonlighting on the violin!

BTM. It's kind on an " encouraged" shared interest. Both were ( and dd2 still is) cathedral choristers and they've just kept going. Singing makes thrm happy and is a relief from daily studies. It all started when ds was bullied at primary for being academically able not sporty - he joined choir at about 9 - and was instantly a happier boy having found " his people" - brainy musical kids, who no one bullied anyone because they were all as able as each other. The girls choir was new then but eldest joined and youngest in turn!

It's good to hear good news here. I have some of my own to share..... We have a stairlift!!!!

It's a happy week!

Tarrara did you enjoy riding up and down? When mum and dad were home getting the stair lift early ( because dad had a bout of bad gout) was absolutely the right thing and I thanked it frequently !

Great news tarrrara! You must test it properly just to make sure😎

Def take some selfies on the stair lift Tarrarra! Well done on getting it in so fast

With DC it is hopefully two steps forward and one back, so the good outweighs the bad. With DP it tends to be the reverse. So it is even more worthwhile celebrating each small step that enables them to have independent and happy lives for longer.

I remember the afternoon ritual of watching Countdown when DD was a baby and DS was a toddler. DS was fascinated by the Stannah adverts and asked for his own stairlift for his birthday. We live in a tall narrow London house so climbing up to his bedroom must have been like climbing a mountain.

Sat here again stopping his feet falling out of bed. Watching him rummage and cough and frankly wishing he'd give up now.

He's stopped being easy to look after. He can't help them lift / transfer so he's getting the team concerned hell hurt himself or them. That's not good :(

He must have a chest infection. It's hard not to want to step in and treat but a touch of " the old persons friend " ( pneumonia) .....yeah I can see why it's called that.

Sending . It must be so hard to watch. Take care

Thanks sandwich. He's a bit more settled after a change and a drink. I'm glad the team are so good. They don't think for a minute he needs sedation " that's only if we can't cope with him and he's fine at the moment " ...this is so out of my comfort zone !

In other more positive news eldest has moved into her own flat - we completed the purchase just in time as I'm part owning and would have been liable for this blooming " 2nd home stamp duty" - yep a part share in a1bed flat !

How exciting for your eldest Helen. Nothing like that feeling of your first place.

I hope your dad stays more settled

Hugs to all tonight. I have taken full advantage of the stairlift of course! Me and ds were riding it today and gasp we didn't use the seatbelt - daring!

Hope your dad continues to be settled Helen x

Trying to juggle entertaining children in the Easter holidays is made easier by a Stannah....

Helen, sorry to hear your dad's gone downhill again. Congratulations to your eldest, though!

One of my DM's oldest friends (they trained together, so the same age) rang last night and said that when she called the home earlier, DM was out shopping with a carer. She rang back later and asked my DM if she had enjoyed the shopping trip. DM said "Well, it wasn't my sort of shopping"

Helen, I'm sorry. Good to hear he is more settled. How lovely for your DD though, her first home.

at your Mum BTM.

Saw a neighbour this morning who I could see working up to asking how my Mother is with a slightly stressed look on her face, the one where you don't know whether to ask or not. She got there in the end so I replied with 'quite perky apparently', at which point she laughed, then realised what she was doing and looked a bit embarrassed. Totally got that as I do the nervous laugh thing.

Step dad in hospital at the moment. Carers rang on Tuesday to say no Urine in the commode. Doctor informed and will visit. Rang him Wed, no wee and no doctor. Step dad refused offer of taxi to take him round to the docs. He is the most obstinate bloke when he wants to be.

Rang the docs yesterday, and receptionist and told them he has passed no urine for 3 days. She said they had been ringing him but could get no reply. He is a one legged man with serious health problems and dementia. They are fully aware of that he does not answer his phone. I called an ambulance and he was admitted.

When I got to A&E and they had made him comfortable. I knew he was O K because he was moaning like hell. Apparently he had not seen anyone since he got there. When I pointed out the drip, the catheter, the antibiotics and pain relief he had even given, he said "Well apart from that no one has been"

He has now been transferred to another hospital, so will visit later.

Well apart from that ....

Aw querky , how stressful ((()))

Hope you get better news querky

Another rumagy fidgety groany evening. I don't know what to do to settle him. He's been taking his clothes off too earlier. No idea how he does it .

I have no idea when this becomes " agitation " and needs treating. Carers are happy enough but it's miserable to watch.

I've even brought him a teddy