My mum is 87 and we lost my Dad 18 months ago which obviously was devastating for us all.
Mum lives alone and copes well, she has rheumatoid arthritis and recently sadly had a bleed in the retinal vein in her eye which means her sight is no longer good enough for driving.
My sister lives 7 miles from my mum I live 2 miles.
I do the lions share of care, take get to ALL her Hosp appts, drs appt, take her to the hairdresser weekly, sort her meds, supervise her weekly injections, help her go shopping, sort out things like bank statements, ordering heating oil, insurance for house etcetc - You get the picture.
Also try and take her out for lunch or coffee sometimes.
My sister has her over most Sundays for about 3 hours for lunch.
And that's it.
I understand mum is frustrated that she can't drive but she has a very good friend who does help by driving mum to the village and does take her shopping if I can't.
Mum CONSTANTLY tells me how marvellous my sister is and how wonderful she is but moans that I am always rushing off somewhere and am 'so' busy ( insert sarcasm!)I have 3 kids one is 8 the others are adults and working. Eldest dd us expecting first baby in June. I work 5 mornings a a week.
Mum won't help herself at all for example refuses to even consider using taxi.
I'm just fed up of nothing I do ever being good enough. If she has a problem she ALWAYS calls me never my sister.
I do so much of the stuff like appts, meds etc that I don't feel like spending social time with her but then feel guilty. Especially when she moans at me.
Have spoken to my sister about thus but she just says she's too busy to help and just tells me she can't do any appts.
God I miss my Dad:(
Sorry for long moan.
Am I being unfair to my mum? Should I make more effort?