If you are against Home Ed, can you tell me why?

[Bodenbabe]

I'm in the very early stages of thinking about HE and want to know all the pros and cons. If you are against HE, can you tell me why?

I was just about to say what skegness said - that's not a good enough school.

I think we may need to add in UTGSN at the end of every post here, although that could work both ways. If a school is dealing with the SN as they should then school might be the better place even for a child with SN.

I should add that this isn't just an issue about SNs being met. Every child has individual needs and many, many schools don't give the support they need, catering largely to middle ground.

Even those schools that DO aim to give support where due frequently get it wrong and make matters worse.

I speak from experience on both points, and not just my own. This is a very common state of affairs.

My aim with the earlier post was to highlight that HE is very often far better than what's being provided by schools, even supposedly very good ones. My son was at two primaries before deregistration and both do very well in Ofsteds (one is Outstanding and THE school in the local area, with parents fighting for places). UTGSN could apply to a lot of schools like this, despite their official labels.

I don't really have any negatives about HE, as such. I haven't HE'd, but we lived for 5 years in an intentional community where most children historically had been HE, so I've known quite a lot of HE children both in the community and others who visited.

I sent my dd to school when she reached reception age because it felt like the best thing for us, and because her closest friend in the community went to school.

One thing I would say, which is kind of hard to put into words, is that there was much less 'equality of outcome' amongst the children than you would expect from a group HE'd together. That is - the children whose parents had an Oxbridge degree/whatever, ended up going off to uni or something similar, whereas the children whose parents had a lower level of education went to the local college to study catering, hairdressing etc.

As I say, its not really a negative, because unfortunately that is very much what our society is like, and I don't think that things would have been different if the children concerned had gone to school, but I might have expected a less 'predictable' outcome.

Overall, I would say there are children who get a great education through HE, and others who get a pretty rotten one. But, frankly, that is exactly true of children in school.

I agree that there's a difference between official scores and a school actually being good for any one particular child.

I still think there's definitely something in Skegness's idea that a school that is good enough (for the child in question) is good enough.

Bodenbabe - I hadn't appreciated how long your daughter had been at school. I don't think you mention her age anywhere. By my calculations she must be 8 or 9 in which case I appreciate your concerns. On the other hand - educational issues aside - it would worry me more that my dd couldn't bear to be away from me at this age and I would reiterate the point that I don't think keeping her at home would be the answer.

"Overall, I would say there are children who get a great education through HE, and others who get a pretty rotten one. But, frankly, that is exactly true of children in school. "

I think that there's a lot of truth in that statement, Takver.

I also think that the definition of 'education' isn't the same for everyone. Some children may not leave compulsory education with a bundle of academic certificates but they may be much more resourceful than those who have.

Lillian, interestingly, a friend of mine now in her 30s says that one of her overwhelming memories of primary school is just of missing her mum, and wanting to be at home pottering around doing things with her.

I don't think that either she or her mum are odd in any way (and friend is very well travelled & has done loads of exciting things with her life), she says herself that she was just a real homebody at that age, and not that inspired by school.

juuule, I totally agree that certificates aren't the critical thing at all - have to say that my 'rotten education' was on a wider plane, so to speak (I do know one - very resourceful - child who took himself off to school with the complaint that he was being 'home ignored' ).

Did her mum actually take her out of school though?

@ "home-ignored"

Not particularly for or against it personally, though I think for many families in this day and age it's totally impractical and unaffordable for one parent to be at home to enable it to take place.

By definition, Home Edding is more likely to be limited to relatively well off families.

Personally I don't think I'd have the patience to do it - and I speak as a teacher! Plus I enjoy going out to work, so does DH, and it would mean one of us giving up. A huge amount of a child's learning takes place within the family, at evenings, weekends etc anyway, so we're content to be the educators in this capacity, in the same way all parents are, and leave the formal schooling to schools.

"I agree that there's a difference between official scores and a school actually being good for any one particular child."

Trillian, I think that would be less of an issue if it WAS about not being good enough for one particular child. The two schools I'm referring to were failing numerous children in a variety of ways, and still are. Ofsted is a waste of space IMO but unfortunately the majority of parents seem to value their findings highly.

And back to SEN - Ofsted seems to give it little more than a cursory glance from the accounts I've heard (including those of teachers and Heads). I've heard it said that an Outstanding at Ofsted means that the Head is Outstanding at doing the paperwork and pulling the wool over the inspectors' eyes...

I think it's fair to say that there is good and bad everywhere. There are good HE parents and bad ones, good teachers and bad, etc etc. It's unfair to apply one example to all. HE can be and often is better than school, and sometimes it can be very poor indeed. IMO, the place where education takes place isn't so much the issue as the quality of the education (which includes life skills and all the rest) that takes place there.

Lillian - no, she didn't - but I'm not sure that is necessarily a bad thing for a child to be more home centred for a bit longer than normal and make the most of that stage, IYSWIM. (Depending, of course, on whether it works for everyone else in the family.)

Why on earth do I read these threads? They just make me so and . Such incredible misconceptions abound about HE. No wonder we're up against it with the latest Government proposals if so many people are so ignorant about HE, how children learn, how children learn social skills.

Violet - we are not well off, so your assumption is completely erroneous. I only know a few HE families that could be considered well off - the vast majority are just very creative with how they use their money, which is a very good skill for children to learn I feel!

Believing that you have to be taught to teach in order to be responsible for your child's education displays a distinct misunderstanding of how children learn .

I don't handpick the friends my children have, or the people they see when they go to Badgers, art club, spanish or french clubs, or to their street dancing class, or to the cooking club they go to occassionally. Their circle of friends is far larger and more varied than it could ever be in school.

I'm just so saddened and wound up that I'm sure I'm offending people here, but then I'm feeling offended myself. Offended that so few people have bothered to actually learn about HE in depth before making sweeping statements about it. There are a few people on here who have a lot of experience and knowledge of HE and are still against it, and those people I respect and just accept that we disagree. It's the 'I don't think you should HE because...' from people who have no idea that I find offensive.

I kind of wish I could get you all round to my house to spend a few days with us to see that my children aren't social misfits who have no knowledge of the world and how it works, poor numeracy and literacy skills, and an unnatural attachment to their mum.

I wholeheartedly agree with Flamingobingo's post.

However, as this thread was specifically asking why people are against HE I've found it interesting to read.

I am reassured on the one hand that nobody has come up with anything yet that would be a problem to me and mine.

But I agree it is depressing if this is a reflection of the general population's perception of HE which is being vocalised with very little understanding of the realities of HE.
Obviously people with direct experience of HE(e.g.were HE or Have HE) have valuable input to threads like this.

Takkver - I take your point about children liking to be at home pottering about with mum. My dd is nearly 9 and much as she loves school she also loves hanging out at home with me (this week for instance when her class was closed because of the snow). I do wonder though if your friend would have gone on to be so outgoing if her mum had just let her opt out and stay at home.

Flamingo the OP was asking for people to tell her their negative perceptions/thoughts about HE.

(I totally understand the weird compulsion to read threads when you know you don't really want to hear the things that will be said on them)

It's the confident sweeping statements that are made based on no understanding of HE whatsoever that I'm objecting to, Trills. Not the 'I couldn't HE because I don't want to' or 'because I don't feel up to the task' but the 'You have to be rich to HE' or 'HE'd children won't learn how to be sociable' or HE'd children won't be able to go to university'.

Flamingo the OP was asking people why they wouldn't do it. I'm sure there are many valid reasons for choosing to HE and many who do an excellent job.

To OP are you planning on HE because you are unhappy with the education your dd is receiving at school or are you intending to do it because she misses you when she is at school?

I can understand if it is for the first reason. I don't HE as there is no one else here to pay the bills and I therefore have to work full time. I also think that school is good for ds socialising with his peers - only child. He is very mature for his age but unfortunately that can come across as a bit cocky - very very confident but is only 5 and that didn't go down well with his ski instructor last week .

If it is because she misses you then you do need to do something to address this. I'm not sure that HE would be the answer as all you will do is make her even more dependent on you. From your comments she must either 8 or 9 which is different from missing you because she has just started school. Have you spoken to her teachers, your GP or HV about this? If so what are their suggestions? Does she do any out of school activities where you drop her off and collect her later, eg Brownies? Maybe that would be a start for her independence?

A friends sister has HE'd all her children and I talk about it with another family Inknow who HE there 3. I do think it is horses for courses and if that is what you want to do then that is great, personally I don't want to, I know HE get as great if not a better education, but as much as I love my DC's I think it is far better for all of us to get some space from each other.

Are we reading the same thread? I haven't seen any confident sweeping generalisations. Similar things to that have been said, but with a lot of 'more/less likely to...' or 'more/less easy to... Even with the caveats they may be still be wrong, of course.