Why can't i sit in on some of my child's class?

[fleetwoodmac]

My son is in Y2 Primary, and there was an issue about his "bad behaviour" raised with me by the teacher. I am aware of something wrong in the way he reacts to school (i think perhaps because he is a spirited child i.e. very energetic, persistent, loud, and likes to do his own thing!) and in a way i am glad the teacher raised this with me.

I asked the teacher if I could spend a morning observing him in class as I want to get a feel for it e.g. does he find it hard to sit still (he does at home), and she was reluctant, preferring to have a discussion only.

I am puzzled why teachers don't like a parent visiting their classroom when they have a concern about how their child is in class.

Does anyone shed any light on why this is?

(p.s. If i were a teacher it wouldn't bother me if a parent wanted to do this).

Were you wagging your finger when you said that, Moonlight?!

Absolutely. And I'm about to flounce now (except I'm too scared)

I cannot see why asking permission to sit in one class out of what? more than a hundred? should cause problems. Teachers judgements are not always infallible or unbiased, and why is it considered wrong for a parent to see what happens in her child's class especially if it's felt there are issues? What is this how-dare-you-question-the-teachers-judgement thing?

The OP isn't saying the teacher is lying.

She simply knows her son and wants a clearer picture of what is going on. Frankly if anyone responsible for my child - be they nurse, child-minder, youth or social worker - was very reluctant to let me observe them in practice I wouldn't be happy either.

Perhaps if the teacher felt that the OP was asking to observe in order to be able to support the school and the teacher to develop a set of appropriate strategies, she may feel more inclined to open her door. However, it is clear from the OPs messages that she does not believe what the teacher is saying, does not think that her ds could possibly be causing problems in the class, and is clearly not trusting the teacher's professional judgement.

On this basis, I don't think I'd be overly keen to have someone in my classroom.

I'm all for open co-operation between parents and teachers, but the OP clearly does not have any respect for the teacher and is questionning her judgement. In this case, it is not appropriate for the parent to be observing. If necessary, the SENCO, head teacher or other senior teacher should be asked to observe in order to give the OP another viewpoint.

As a teacher I would be quite happy for you to sit in and observe, but I would want to know that you were a reasonable parent in the first place. I would have wanted a long discussion about my expectations, why they were important and what your DS was doing that detrimental to the learning environment for everyone. I would also want to know what you proposed to do about it. If I felt that you were coming in to tell me that your DS was a 'free spirit' and you can't see the point of him listening to other children and taking turns, then I wouldn't see the point in you observing.
(You could just have offered your services as a parent helper and then you could have observed without making 'a thing' about it.) As a supply teacher I love having lots of adults in the classroom-as long as they are helpful.

The OP said she was glad the teacher raised the issue of her son's behaviour with her. So she was not being disrespectful. She is not even asking to spend the whole day in class, merely a morning.

Sometimes there does exist a wide discrepancy between a childs' behaviour whilst at school and at home.
In such an instance it might well just be something about the school/class environment/teacher's response that triggers the behaviour.

I think it was a responsible gesture on the part of the parent to try and support her son and the teacher by offering to see what might be affecting him. It seems as if this teacher took this request as an automatic challenge to her authority.

It's interesting, because at my DS last school they actively encouraged the parents of disruptive children to sit in and couldn't get some of them to do so because they weren't interested.

2kidz- I think it would depend on how the OP spoke to the teacher. If she spoke to her as she came across in her posts on here, then I think the teacher might reasonably be wary.

I have gone in myself to discuss problems with teachers and the schools have mostly been very welcoming, but then I have not stressed that I know my child best or insisted on using positive language (like high spirited) when there has been a problem.

Given the OPs propensity to take offence on this thread, and even more, given her rudeness in not acknowledging
posters like Hulababy who have put a lot of effort into answering her- simply because they do not happen to agree with her 100%- then I do wonder how she came across to the teacher.

It is true that children often behave differently at school than at home. But then again, they may behave differently if their Mum comes in to observe them as a one-off, particularly if they know that Mum is defensive of them (and I would have thought the OPs ds would have to be pretty slow on the uptake not to have picked up on that one).

Besides, it may well be that there is something about the class environment that triggers it off (like being excited by the presence of lots of other children or not being the centre of attention) and that there is still nothing the teacher can do about it.