thanks for many interesting and thought provoking posts, and for the links etc.
i think there's a lot of underlying assumptions, some of which are implicit, some of which are unspoken.. one of them is the assumption that your children will do well regardless, and that therefore measuirng the "uplift" that private education can give (whether in terms of job satisfaction, sporting achievement, salary, or just general life outcomes- hopwever you want to define that, whcih is going to be subjective really) is a pointless exercise. I think people who think this way expect that the "floor" to their children's future life is really quite high- someone described it as a "basic middle class" expectation or similar, and someone else tellingly spoke in terms of "if my children *choose" to be unemployed".
we are not really talking about the difference between an impoverished exploited manual worker and a city lawyer, are we. whcih reflects the inherent middle-classness of this argument i suppose, but also, probably, the fundamental truth that our kids really will be allright, and it's down to us much more than the schooling they get.
i also think that, on some level, people who have been private school educated like to think that their comparative advantages have all been earned, and that the truth that, perhaps, some of them have been bought is quite unpleasant. I am by no means trying to suggest that private school= thick privileged undeserevedly successful kid, so please do not get me wrong. I also recognise and understand that a lot of it is more complicated than that- it;?s not just the school, it?s the socioeconomic background etc.
I am just trying, for my benefit rather than anything else, to disentangle this debate and why it invariably fires people up so much.
Incidentally, roastchicken, I recognise a lot of what you?re saying re schools in NW3- we too are on the borders. I would be really interested to compare notes- unless of course you think that?s too fraught with emotive issues, in which case, I would totally understand. I find it increasingly hard to talk to my friends about it.
FWIW we are leaning towards hoping she gets in one of two RC schools nearby, one of which is ?outstanding?, the other is on paper hopeless but we actually quite liked it. I suppose we can always change our minds later- I think it is not as hard as people think to switch into private schools in later years, even in the crazy world of NW London independent schools!